how do you kick someone out of your BP?

this may be long so bear with me. i really need help on this one....

ok so it was my friends bachelorette party this past weekend. i'm one of her bridesmaids so i did the best i could to make sure she had a good time.

let me start out that i got a 2nd job working only fri and sat nights. her bachelorette party was a whole weekend thing. i was only able to make it to saturday night b/c i couldn't get fri AND sat off. so i went and spent a lot of money (well, money that i didn't have). i took care of the bar tab and none of her friends offered to pay and no one offered to buy me a drink (but that's a whole different story).

so, on the way home, i told her i was going home and that i wasn't able to make it to sunday brunch (i also couldn't afford it). and she said 'you weren't here last night and you aren't gonna be here tomorrow, some bridesmaid you are'. i took it in and didn't say anything. then she adds in 'i bet you Angels (her FH) friends didn't leave him - whatever, they're his REAL friends'. ok so now i'm really pissed!!! but still i didn't say anything. i didn't wanna make things akward.

more things thru-out the night just made that whole convo the icing on the cake. now if i'm not a REAL friend, then why did she ask me to be in her bridal party? and mind you, i was the only bridesmaid there (besides her MOH). ok so now, since i'm not a REAL friend, then i don't want her in my bridal party.

should i just be honest and tell her that i didn't appreciate what she said to me? is it ok to kick someone out of your BP? i really don't want her in it. has anyone ever been in this predicament??

---

Posted by daniebc16

Are you still in her bridal party?

---

yeah that would be mean if i backed out. it's next month

I would definetly say something! How rude can a person be?-Bride or not-that just doesn't even sound like a friend to me. If one of my friends said that to me-I would kick them out of the BP.

---

Posted by daniebc16

Consider the history you have with this friend and decide whether this is just wedding stress (as we all know too well) or is she just a royal b****. If the relationship is worth salvaging then bite the bullet and work it out, if not, then whatever.... I have gotten rid of 2 'toxic' friends (as Oprah says), people in your life that cause more stress then good...

---

well you see, we're friends by default. meaning, my mom and her mom are best friends. my sister was in her sisters wedding (and vice versa). so like we're not really friends. we're only friends b/c like we kinda have to be in a way.

First I think you're just angry right now, you def. need some time to cool off. I don't know this girl, but it sounds like she just really wanted you to be there with her for the weekend but was too blind to see your predicament. I think we can all be selfish at times! Gie her the benefit of the doubt. TALK to her first. Explain to her the money situation and tell her how insulted you are that she is acting like a brat! Tell her how it is. I've been bratty so many times with my BF and she always tells me like it is. When it's an event that is related to me, I guess I can get carried away and it seems like this girl you're talking about is the same way....Def. talk to her and share the way you feel. Know that right now you're just pissed at her and you might regret it later if you don't include her....
XOXOXO
Kitty

---

Posted by mskittynj

First I think you're just angry right now, you def. need some time to cool off. I don't know this girl, but it sounds like she just really wanted you to be there with her for the weekend but was too blind to see your predicament. I think we can all be selfish at times! Gie her the benefit of the doubt. TALK to her first. Explain to her the money situation and tell her how insulted you are that she is acting like a brat! Tell her how it is. I've been bratty so many times with my BF and she always tells me like it is. When it's an event that is related to me, I guess I can get carried away and it seems like this girl you're talking about is the same way....Def. talk to her and share the way you feel. Know that right now you're just pissed at her and you might regret it later if you don't include her....
XOXOXO
Kitty

---

I agree with Kitty! While you may be friends 'by Default' she obviously cared enough to get upset that you couldn't be there. She was upset that you wouldn't be there to celebrate with her - she wanted your company! Did she say all those things to you after she had been drinking for a while? We all know how after a few we all have no ability to think before we speak. Maybe this was the case?

I'm so sorry that she hurt your feelings and made you feel mucho guilty. That smells!

yeah but how is she gonna say i'm not a real friend?

and she called me yesterday not to thank me but to ask me to email pics to her!

I think you should say something for sure! She had a temper tantrum. People can't be in two places, and not everyone can take weekends off to party. A weekend long bach party is an awful lot to expect of anyone.

good luck