How do you make a smoker QUIT????

How can I get my mother to quit SMOKING it makes me really sad but also angry...she is a chain smoker . As I am writing this she is hacking up a lung upstairs...its gross. I have asked her to quit many many many times. I also told her that I don't want to lose her...especially after my friends MIL died from lung cancer last year...IT MAKES NO IMPACT

go on the american cancer society website. I think they have pamplets and stuff. send them to her! Thats what I did to my mom, but it was a few years ago and I called a phone number, i don't remember what. She has defnintely cut back, but my father also died of lung cancer, so that definitely made her cut back...

I don't even think she wants to quit...its really discouraging......I have seen Nicorette in the closet and presciptions for quitting from the Dr. in the hall closet...UNOPENED OF COURSE

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Posted by Meaghan729

go on the american cancer society website. I think they have pamplets and stuff. send them to her! Thats what I did to my mom, but it was a few years ago and I called a phone number, i don't remember what. She has defnintely cut back, but my father also died of lung cancer, so that definitely made her cut back...

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Thanks for the advice...I will do that!

Unfortunatly if she doesn't want to quit for herself...she probably won't do it.
Its so horrible that she smokes like that...but she has to want to quit....
You could always tape those commercials that show the organs and what cigarrette smoke does to them...those gross me out and i don't even smoke!

Kathleen, I'm so sorry. This was a real sore point w/ FH (when I met him he told me he was quitting), WELL, it took him 4 years, but he finally did it the first week of Jan.

YET he had his mind set to quit.

He's been using the COMMIT lozengers religiously & its worked wonders. We had also gone to the hypnotist (me for weight loss & him smoking) that helped.

It's sad though b/c your mom really has to want to stop, no matter who else tells her to stop or such, if her heart isn't in it, she won't do it.

I'd be straight up w/ her & say how much you love her & how you want her around for many years to see her grandkids & how much it would mean to you (& your bros) if she tried to quit.

I'd also get the pamplets, etc.

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Posted by SoontobeMrsR72806

Unfortunatly if she doesn't want to quit for herself...she probably won't do it.
Its so horrible that she smokes like that...but she has to want to quit....
You could always tape those commercials that show the organs and what cigarrette smoke does to them...those gross me out and i don't even smoke!

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Those commercials gross me out soooo much

Thank God she doesn;t smoke in the house anymore...but I hear her every morning at 6am as soon as she wakes up...going out to have a smoke...its really upsetting

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Posted by SweetCin704

Kathleen, I'm so sorry. This was a real sore point w/ FH (when I met him he told me he was quitting), WELL, it took him 4 years, but he finally did it the first week of Jan.

YET he had his mind set to quit.

He's been using the COMMIT lozengers religiously & its worked wonders. We had also gone to the hypnotist (me for weight loss & him smoking) that helped.

It's sad though b/c your mom really has to want to stop, no matter who else tells her to stop or such, if her heart isn't in it, she won't do it.

I'd be straight up w/ her & say how much you love her & how you want her around for many years to see her grandkids & how much it would mean to you (& your bros) if she tried to quit.

I'd also get the pamplets, etc.

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I have told her and been in tears and she still smokes...also I am upset that she is going to miss most of my reception because she will be smoking away outside

Kathleen, I'm a smoker and I'll tell you flat out NOTHING you can say will get her to quit. When (and if) she is ready, she'll do it herself.

Quitting smoking takes more than will power, and begging from family members. First the smoker has to have the desire and self motivation to quit. Without it no amount of effort will make it happen. You said you don't think she even has the desire to quit. I'm sure you're right. If she had the slightest desire to quit, she would be making an effort. But desire and self motivation are only the first step. Smoking is an addiction. To successfully quit it requires behavior modification, and support. Whether the support comes from therapy (like smoker's anonymous), the patch, nicotine gum, or a prescription, makes no difference. The odds of successfully quitting dramatically increase with the support. Behavior modification is required to work on smoking triggers - like the first cup of coffeee in the morning, or lighting up at the same traffic light every morning on the way to work. People who are trying to quit change those routines to reduce temptation and the automatic 'lighting up' moments.

Try not to nag, it will only make things worse. Trust me!

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Posted by October Bliss

Kathleen, I'm a smoker and I'll tell you flat out NOTHING you can say will get her to quit. When (and if) she is ready, she'll do it herself.

Quitting smoking takes more than will power, and begging from family members. First the smoker has to have the desire and self motivation to quit. Without it no amount of effort will make it happen. You said you don't think she even has the desire to quit. I'm sure you're right. If she had the slightest desire to quit, she would be making an effort. But desire and self motivation are only the first step. Smoking is an addiction. To successfully quit it requires behavior modification, and support. Whether the support comes from therapy (like smoker's anonymous), the patch, nicotine gum, or a prescription, makes no difference. The odds of successfully quitting dramatically increase with the support. Behavior modification is required to work on smoking triggers - like the first cup of coffeee in the morning, or lighting up at the same traffic light every morning on the way to work. People who are trying to quit change those routines to reduce temptation and the automatic 'lighting up' moments.

Try not to nag, it will only make things worse. Trust me!

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I couldnt have said it better than that Darlene. The same holds true for overeaters and people who struggle with weight. As they often use similar treatments to battle addictions

There is an addictive aspect to our personalities. Unless a person is willing to make a drastic life change, then nothing, not even the love of a child or the threat of death or discomfort through illness can change a behavior. If I didn't live through a food addiction and hit bottom myself, I wouldn't be as sincere and feel so strongly about this.

Acupuncture and hypnosis may be well and good but if you cannot get that person through the front door to those treatments, then all the needles in the world AIN'T gonna stop em! Just be supportive to any effort your mother makes to make improvements. Let he know you will be there for her.

check out the NY state smokers quitsite....
www.nysmokefree.com
they have a lot of resources including a hotline and free info....maybe you could get some info for her to read. like a lot of ladies have said, its verrry tough if the person has no desire to quit, but you have to try.

I think at the American Lung Association you can get pics of blackened lungs, to show the difference between healthy and unhealthy. That might just scare her into quitting.
Being a former smoker myself, I know how difficult it is. I still think about cigarettes and smoking everyday and it's been over a year since I last quit.
Good Luck!

Kathleen, I know EXACTLY how you feel and I've asked myself this question on too many occaisons. At different points in my life both of my parents would smoke, thankfully they've both quit (I think). But now FH is a smoker, and there's nothing I (or his daughter) can do to stop him.

Of course we try to be supportive, I know it's hard, but we're afraid of the worst. I want him to be able to walk her down the aisle one day, and sometimes I fear that he's not going to make it. His mom died of lung cancer 3 years ago bc of her smoking; you'd think he would've learned from her and quit but he didn't, he said it was the only way of coping with his loss.

He went to the doctor about a year ago and he's got scars on his lungs from 28 years of smoking, but that didn't motivate him to quit either (tho it scares the sh!t out of me). Unfortunately, I've come to the realization that he cannot quit unless he wants to do it for himself. When, or if, he decides to quit I will do everything in my power to help but I cannot do it for him. Until then I pray that G*d does not take him from me.

Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

Kathleen, I totally feel your pain. My Mom smokes AT LEAST three packs of cigarettes a day. It makes me really sad. I have tried for 31 years to get her to stop smoking but she is only going to quit when she is ready. Unfortunately I do not know when that time will come.

It truly is an addiction. She has to want to quit.

Has she tried the Patch?

She needs to replace smoking as her stress reliever.... breathing exercises, walking, drinking water, etc... chewing gum.

OMG I'm tryin the same thing w/my mother and father. U heard my mother talk, she sounds like Marge Simpson's sisters...
She will NOT quit...I hate it..I hate smoke and i hateee cigs