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how honest do you REALLY want your DIL to be?
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Re: how honest do you REALLY want your DIL to be?
I have my DIL since July. There was ALOT of drama during their wedding process. Keep in mind, she's only 19 so that will have alot to say about everything.
We did start off on a very rocky road. You see, we (my son and I ) live in upstate NY, she is a born/raised upstater. Needless to say, things are done so differently up here, wedding wise. Our road to a new member of my family was off to a bad start.
Now, October 31st was my daughters wedding. Being my son was stationed with the Army 3 hours away, I tried to become her 'friend'. I had lots to do for my daughters wedding (on LI) so I took advantage of shopping once a week. I would call her, invite her to come with me. she did and we actually bonded. Which made my son very happy and thats fine. Now that the wedding is over, and all the running around, shopping, crafting is done, theres really nothing to do. Now I've kept the dates with her every 2-3 weeks, I go and pick her up and we get our nails done together.
Now for your question. There had been a major issue during her wedding process. I won't get into detail but she wanted to invite someone to their wedding that just apauled me. My son was told that if she has any intentions of inviting this person, I will NOT be there. He had to make the decision, me or that person. Note, she has never met this person so she had no right in making demands on him to invite. While out shopping, we'd stop for lunch and she hit me with a 'can I ask you a personal question?' I wasn't going to say no but was kind of taken back on what that question would be and how I would answer. She asked why I HATED this person and why I gave them such a hard time. Well, she asked and I gave it to her in the full length version. I told her from day one and she sat there in shock. I just spilled my guts. After I told her about my situation, she then inturn convided in me with about her parents. I tried to be her friend, I listened, didn't judge, just to be there. I do not hold what she told me over her. It was a discussuion between the both of us. I'm postive that she did tell my son and her mom of my situation, but then I don't care. I'm not going to hide it.
I'm sorry this was long and it goes around in a circle. How honest do I really want my DIL to be? I would rather her be honest with me than to lie or make up talk. I have to always keep in mind, she's only 19 and has ALOT of growing to do. Now that I have a SIL and a DIL, I want to be the best MIL I can be.
I hope that I've shed some light on your topic. I'm also a VERY long winded mom.
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Don't let your MIL's judgement interfer with your relationship. Some just don't get it and like to talk. I would just sit with her one day and say 'I would appreciate it that when we talk and discuss certain things, that these subjects stay between us' and then just drop it.
Keep us posted. Thats what us MOM'S are for. We're here for all you ladies that need us and you have no idea how great it feels to need us and for your posts.
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We did start off on a very rocky road. You see, we (my son and I ) live in upstate NY, she is a born/raised upstater. Needless to say, things are done so differently up here, wedding wise. Our road to a new member of my family was off to a bad start.
Now, October 31st was my daughters wedding. Being my son was stationed with the Army 3 hours away, I tried to become her 'friend'. I had lots to do for my daughters wedding (on LI) so I took advantage of shopping once a week. I would call her, invite her to come with me. she did and we actually bonded. Which made my son very happy and thats fine. Now that the wedding is over, and all the running around, shopping, crafting is done, theres really nothing to do. Now I've kept the dates with her every 2-3 weeks, I go and pick her up and we get our nails done together.
Now for your question. There had been a major issue during her wedding process. I won't get into detail but she wanted to invite someone to their wedding that just apauled me. My son was told that if she has any intentions of inviting this person, I will NOT be there. He had to make the decision, me or that person. Note, she has never met this person so she had no right in making demands on him to invite. While out shopping, we'd stop for lunch and she hit me with a 'can I ask you a personal question?' I wasn't going to say no but was kind of taken back on what that question would be and how I would answer. She asked why I HATED this person and why I gave them such a hard time. Well, she asked and I gave it to her in the full length version. I told her from day one and she sat there in shock. I just spilled my guts. After I told her about my situation, she then inturn convided in me with about her parents. I tried to be her friend, I listened, didn't judge, just to be there. I do not hold what she told me over her. It was a discussuion between the both of us. I'm postive that she did tell my son and her mom of my situation, but then I don't care. I'm not going to hide it.
I'm sorry this was long and it goes around in a circle. How honest do I really want my DIL to be? I would rather her be honest with me than to lie or make up talk. I have to always keep in mind, she's only 19 and has ALOT of growing to do. Now that I have a SIL and a DIL, I want to be the best MIL I can be.
I hope that I've shed some light on your topic. I'm also a VERY long winded mom.
Don't let your MIL's judgement interfer with your relationship. Some just don't get it and like to talk. I would just sit with her one day and say 'I would appreciate it that when we talk and discuss certain things, that these subjects stay between us' and then just drop it.
Keep us posted. Thats what us MOM'S are for. We're here for all you ladies that need us and you have no idea how great it feels to need us and for your posts.
