How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

Bee12 Posted: Jul 12, 2010 08:10 AM

How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

I havent done much except book the hall and my mother complains that im not sharing ideas with her....i took her when we went RH shopping ( bad idea) .. and we went to Kleinfields together... thats about it !

i think she is just trying get control as usual

Ray8183 Posted: Jul 12, 2010 08:15 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

None and thatt's the way I like it. Plus no money I can't hear you. Try not to take everything she say to heart. She means well and happy for you, she doesn't know how to show it.

dctead Posted: Jul 12, 2010 08:25 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

Posted by Ray8183

None and thatt's the way I like it. Plus no money I can't hear you. Try not to take everything she say to heart. She means well and happy for you, she doesn't know how to show it.

Ditto... If i ask an opinion she'll give it... but I advised my parents from the get go that if they want an opinion that I'll listen to - then they have to 'pay' for it...

I figure since FH and I are paying for this ourselves, then we should be the only ones involved in the planning...

halfbaked Posted: Jul 12, 2010 08:41 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

She was extremely involved. Thank goodness, I needed her desperately.

StaceyWill Posted: Jul 12, 2010 08:46 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

She was pretty involved. I mean, I basically asked her opinion on almost everything. But, if we didn't agree, I went with my ideas.

AwaitingAugust Posted: Jul 12, 2010 08:59 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

i'm not sure how to vote ... i told my mom just about all the details, but she didn't necessarily help me choose the details

she came to two things (well 3 sort of) with me - finding a dress, the DJ appointment, and the first dress fitting.

now we're having a huge fight because she's being way too controlling but that's a whole 'nother story

don't let your mom pressure you into getting help if you don't want it.

Chanwich Posted: Jul 12, 2010 09:26 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

My mother is basically planning this wedding for me since I live OOS. Its been pretty awesome, she is fairly open to our ideas. But she is throwing in a huge chunk of change for it, so she is allowed to have an opinion too, which sometimes differs from mine. I'm really glad she is doing it because I kind of don't really like planning. I just want to show up and party

AngnShaun Posted: Jul 12, 2010 09:54 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

Posted by jilliibabii

She was extremely involved. Thank goodness, I needed her desperately.

My mom is also very involved... she has definitely given me her opinion, but shes never forced me to take it whether she is paying for it or not...

Lsorrent Posted: Jul 12, 2010 09:57 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

Posted by StaceyWill

She was pretty involved. I mean, I basically asked her opinion on almost everything. But, if we didn't agree, I went with my ideas.

Same here

justnicethings Posted: Jul 12, 2010 10:10 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

My mom has been through this twice before, so I think she's over it! haha. She only gives good advice when needed, and I will take her dress shopping and i'd like her with me when I pick flowers. The only thing i KNOW she will be insistent upon is me having a pure white/ivory gown.

itbroi805 Posted: Jul 12, 2010 11:12 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

my mother comes to all appointments with me! I need her to look over all my contracts and she always asks the vendor the questions I don't even think of..thanks goodness for her! She doesn't push me, but she will tell me when she doesn't liek something.

chipperbride Posted: Jul 12, 2010 11:22 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

My mother has been close by to give me support and encouragement, but hasn't participated too much when it comes to booking vendors and making those types of decisions.

Our tastes and styles are so completely different that we'd probably end up disagreeing on everything, and I think she's a little afraid she'll sway me away from what I really want

AmyElizabeth Posted: Jul 12, 2010 11:23 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

My mom bought my dress for me as a gift, but that's it. I tell her my ideas and show her pictures and things every now and then (by email, as she lives about 2 hrs away) but she's not involved in the planning at all. And she's ok with that. She realizes it's my wedding and she's very supportive of that.

However, if she was paying for part/all of the wedding, who knows how that might change! She keeps saying that she feels bad that she can't contribute more, and I tell her its ok, the dress is a wonderful and thoughtful gift, but I know she feels sad about it.

Panamasweet Posted: Jul 12, 2010 11:26 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

I ask her opnion just to make her feel good but her taste is totally different than mine so i end up doing things my way. She lives in FL so she cant come with me on appts and i like it that way. The only thing i missed was her coming dress shopping with me other than that i can do without her help

anszusterman Posted: Jul 12, 2010 11:55 AM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

I keep my mom in the loop, and would like her to be here for appointments- but she lives 19 hours away! She's coming to visit in the fall, so we are going to show her our RH then! I bounce ideas off of her, but thats about all I can do with her not here.

soontobmrsmike Posted: Jul 12, 2010 12:12 PM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

I know how you feel I have a controlling mother as well. I love her but she can be too much sometimes. I hate confrontation but sometimes i need to tell her to relax.

She told me once that she didn't feel involved bc i told her i wanted to go looking at RH with my FH only bc it gets to confusing and once i like something i will bring her back.

As soon as i decided i was going to start planning she went out on her own to halls that i mentioned to get info without telling me I WAS SOOO PISSED... I'm like why would you do that bc you have no idea the look im going for , etc...

Gotta love em!! Its nice to know they want to be a part of it but they need to realize they planned there wedding already.. Sit back and relax.. lol

wenR Posted: Jul 12, 2010 01:07 PM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

My mom is not very involved. I think it's b/c she can't afford to help financially so she is shy about making suggestions, only if I ask her will she give them. Also, she never had a formal wedding.

Notwedyet08 Posted: Jul 12, 2010 01:27 PM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

she's only involved a little; and only to the extent that i ask her opinion and she shares it. She went to a few showcases w/me but that's been about it so far.

I wish she made more of an effort to be involved. Hopefully as we get closer she'll be more willing to help and offer to take care of some things. she'll be there when i go dress shopping for sure...

AdriandSteve Posted: Jul 12, 2010 02:04 PM

Re: How involved is your mother in the wedding planning?

Posted by soontobmrshammer

I know how you feel I have a controlling mother as well. I love her but she can be too much sometimes. I hate confrontation but sometimes i need to tell her to relax.

She told me once that she didn't feel involved bc i told her i wanted to go looking at RH with my FH only bc it gets to confusing and once i like something i will bring her back.

As soon as i decided i was going to start planning she went out on her own to halls that i mentioned to get info without telling me I WAS SOOO PISSED... I'm like why would you do that bc you have no idea the look im going for , etc...

Gotta love em!! Its nice to know they want to be a part of it but they need to realize they planned there wedding already.. Sit back and relax.. lol

ummm.. yeaaah! lol
My mom's come to all RH's with FH and I (except one day when she was in a mood so I left her home lol). She's also come to the florist appt's but that's it for vendors. She's been to everything involving my dress, veil, shoes, etc.
Her and my FMIL are coming to our tasting sunday so... we'll see how that goes lol