How is your FH when it comes to the guest list?

FH is constantly complaining about all the responses (predominantly yesses)- how he hasn't met any of these people. He obviously doesn't understand that the wedding is not only the bride and groom's- but the parents of the bride and groom. So if my mom wants to invite people, she should invite people. His background is completely different. He has a basically non existent family with a small group of friends. Mine is polar opposite- huge family, and a mom with too many friggin' friends.

Ugh I'm so frustrated...I was thinking things were going so smoothly and didn't think we'd really argue because he's always so calm, and he is the financial brains...but he's getting annoyed now and feels that if we go over budget, it's not his problem.

Ugh I need

First, here's lots of

I can see both sides of this one. Unfortunately, weddings ARE for the families. Remind him that it's just one day and that these people are coming to celebrate YOUR marriage. And def don't fight over it. It's just one of those minor bumps on the road to wedded happiness, which is so much more important that who's there the day of your wedding and how much you spent.

Don't worry, you'll get through it. I see both of your sides - in our case, my FH and I both didn't want people at our wedding that we've never met before - we wanted a more intimate wedding etc. BUT if my mom or his mom really wanted anyone invited, they were invited. It just turns out that we KNOW everyone that they wanted to come and consider them close family friends anyway.

In my case we were the same except opposite. I have the non-existent family and he has the HUGE family. At first it was hard for us to get over that-but sooner or later I realized that it wasnt all about us really. Its about celebrating your marriage-whether it be with people your parents hold close or you hold close.
Just explain to him that your parents also get to enjoy this day too-b/c it is a celebration for them also!

Thanks everyone for being supportive!

It might not be so bad after all...I think FH was just frustrated because he felt he couldn't invite some people from work because there weren't enough nos yet and I don't blame him for being annoyed...but we sat down and looked at the list, and this is all a guess....we might have more nos than we thought- we just have to wait for them!

Thanks everyone!

Tara, we went through the same thing - my family is HUGE on both my father and mother's side and Jason's family is just tiny. It passes, and in the end it works out, just have to be calm and talk about it....many times.

Hope all is going well....school's almost out and your wedding is almost here!!

I think Im like FH, he wanted to invite all these friends that he barely speaks to and I was like the list is already big enough

My parents invited some of there friends only because they were paying for my side and FH's parents didnt because they werent paying

i had the same issue. our wedding wasn't that huge--but 80% of the guest list was my family & friends. DH's family consisted of 1 table--and it was half full of cousins he hadn't seen in years. otherwise, he has no family. for me---i had SOOOO many ppl there for me.

i think that guys sometimes get a little jealous/insecure about the list and take it personal. there were times when DH would be downright jealous that i had so many friends, especially those who flew in from hundreds of miles away

this will pass--and your FH will get over it. sometimes they just don't undrestand !

My situation is opposite, FH's family is huge and mine is like 1 table FH was getting stressed too but he kept reminding himself of all the gifts & money we may get. It was his only way to remain sane!

My side of the family really small, there are 28 on my side, and that includes close friends.

FH has a huge family and a lot of friends, and I was the one freaking out about the guest list. He wanted to invite just about everyone. We have been together for four years and if in that time I haven't met some of his friends, then why should they be invited to our wedding ? Obviously they didn't care enough to meet me previously. This applies to some of FH's FAMILY as well.

I don't expect FH to know my parents' friends. Some he did meet at my Mom's funeral, but that was not a social occassion, just a quick intro. I don't expect to know FH's parents friends. I have issues with FH's friends in our age group.

We are paying for this wedding ourselves. FMIL is laying out some of the money and we will be paying her back. After much back and forth, we did trim our guest list. I was able to convince FH to eliminate 4 'cousins' that we have not seen in 3 years, who never gave a darn when his mom was nearly dying in the hospital. She survived, and still hasn't heard a darn thing from these 'cousins' . I cut 4 of my 'cousins' because we just don't keep contact anymore. Others have

Sometimes one just has to realize that friendships do die.

I had the same prob with my FH ... but after a little time he realized he couldnt be like that and people have to get invites even if he doesnt know them... its 'our' wedding

good luck and i hope it works out for you