How long is too long to be engaged?

How long is too long to be engaged?

Me and the love of my life have been together now for 6 years and we picked rings out a few months ago, but he wont committ to a wedding date. Should i be worried?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

How long have you been engaged? Are you dating 6 years or have you been engaged that long. Maybe the reason he won't commit to a date is because he is waiting to accomplish something...school, promotion at work, etc. Try to find out why he isn't ready to pick the date.

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

best thing to do is talk to him about it...heading into a marraige communication needs to be number 1!!!

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

We have been dating for 6 years. I am in Ny finishing up with school and he is in Florida. He is very accomplished, he has a great job, we have our own place and we are very comfortable financially at the moment. I think that he might just be too comfortable in the relationship. The reason that he started talking about marriage could just be to make me feel more secure.

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

How long have you been engaged for? I know someone who got engaged over 6mos ago and she still hasn't picked a date, registered, or any of that stuff.

what if you picked a date and floated it by him to see what he says? maybe it's money that is a concern? I agree with the other posters. A warm, honest conversation might really help in understanding what the hesitation is in picking a date.

Good luck

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

It's been a few months now, we do talk about the wedding but he has way of being sarcastic when we talk about it. It was his idea to get the rings, if it were not for that I would thing that he doesn't want to get married at all. Money is not really the issue because we have been saving for it.

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

FH & I were engaged for a year before we set our date. We got engaged and then realized how much a wedding costs. And I didn't think he was going to propose so soon (we had been together a year at the time). Now we have a little saved up which is a nice cusion with all the deposits coming our way.

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

If it were me, I would be worried and upset...usually after the engagement, is when the planning starts. And it seems like you might be because you took the time to post this. But...I would first try to find out why he feels this way. Ask him if he prefers to live together and not get married...the reason I am suggesting this is because from what you posted about him possibly being too comfortable in the relationship status quo. Make sure, after he hopefully clarifies the reason(s) for you, that you tell him exactly what you want, and that you love him and won't be happy unless you and he are married. I would do this even if he doesn't clarify the reason(s) for his hesitation...he needs to be aware of what you expect and what will make you happy, and that you will not 'settle' for living together....he may need a 'push' in the right direction

Good luck to you...please keep us posted

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

I think you can be engaged as long as you BOTH want....but it sounds like you want a date set and I dont blame you. I would talk to him about this and see where he is at ....To me it wasnt REAL until I had my date set... I hope you two can work it out

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

I don't think you can set a time limit on 'how long is too long' to be engaged. Everyone's situation is different. Making the decision to get married is HUGE for a guy... some men feel like their lives will be over when they get married . IMO, getting engaged is just as big of a step though. If he's come this far, why not go the extra mile and seal the deal?? I would definitely sit him down and let him know EXACTLY what you want! I'm sure you've had that convo, but make sure he knows that you are serious! To me it sounds like he thinks he's in the clear bc you are both one step closer bc you have a ring. If I were you, I'd make up a deadline in my head.. if that day comes and goes, I'd definitely have to reevaluate the whole situation.

Good Luck! He will come around!

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Ok so i can relate, however i was the one who could not settle on a date, and FH kept comming to me with different dates, and i was like yea that works, then i changed my mind and by the 18 time he was like do you want to get married i was absolutely. That was not the issuse im worried about money, but with a long engagement i'm been very relaxed.

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Whatever is right for you is what is appropriate...there is no set amount of time. However if you are nervous maybe you should sit him down and ask why he is so hesitant about setting a date?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Re: How long is too long to be engaged?

Maybe he's just trying to tackle one stressful thing such as school or something so you guys can enjoy planning your wedding stress free. I don't think there's ever a 'too long' when it comes to being engaged, but if you are concerned about it, try just bringing it up to him.. I'm sure you'll get your best answer as to why he doesn't want to set a date just yet from him, and who knows it could be a very legit reason.