We have a situation on how many invites to give to the FML since there are issues on all ends and she wants to make our day all about her. On the other hand I have my Uncle and he is only asking for his two best friends. he wants us to be happy and enjoy our day with our close friends. Mind you we are paying for our wedding ourselves with the help of my Uncle also since he feels like he is my dad! The FML does not want to help us at all and claims there is no money.
The FH and I would like to know what everyone else is doing and if they are experiencing the same drama as we are. And what to do about it.
This is so stressful!!!!!!!
AnnaK26
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
Don't let this stress you out. Since you are paying for this, let her invite a few of her closest ppl to be nice. You don't want any bad feelings or tension to make the situation even more stressful! If things get out of control, draw the line and put your foot down!
Sweetpea1
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
yes I agree with Annak if she is not willing to pay for anything, then you have to draw the line and limit how many invites she gets.
LMEL1223
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
I had a similar situation. I sat down with FH and decided who he really wanted there and that was who we invited. I told fmil that we simply could not afford to invite all the people she wanted to and that i was willing to invite them if she was willing to pay for it.
PSP
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
Posted by LMEL1223
I had a similar situation. I sat down with FH and decided who he really wanted there and that was who we invited. I told fmil that we simply could not afford to invite all the people she wanted to and that i was willing to invite them if she was willing to pay for it.
This.
Bride2012
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
Posted by PSP
Posted by LMEL1223
I had a similar situation. I sat down with FH and decided who he really wanted there and that was who we invited. I told fmil that we simply could not afford to invite all the people she wanted to and that i was willing to invite them if she was willing to pay for it.
This.
I agree with this!!!
Karrie D
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves we told both of our mother's to give us a list of who they want invited to the wedding. Once we get the lists we will go over it with them and eliminate anyone who we feel should not be there. If their feeling get hurt so be it as we are paying and not them.
2013Bride
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
My Parents are paying for the wedding, so we/they are giving my Fiance's Parents a set number of invites & that's it.
LilinBobby
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
We are paying for the whole thing ourselves since our parents can't help and we invited the whole fam of course and allowed them each a table of friends. Thats it!
stormstryker
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
My parents are helping us pay for the wedding (actually giving a huge chunk of change!). FIL can't really afford to help out, but if they could, they would take the whole bill! They are just that type of people. So because of all of this, we just split the numbers evenly. FH's family is 2x the size of mine and for his parents only to be able to invite half of the family while mine has so much extra to spare, we felt was unfair and wrong to do.
chliekm
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
My parents paid for the wedding and we asked for the list of people they needed to invite.. our list was over 300 people so we started cuttnig people. Family was a must and then we did close friends and work people who we had to invite and tried to see what we could afford.
We never said you are allowed to have X amount of people but it got to the point where we had to cut people and explained that if some people were invited then we wouldn't be able to invte our friends and they took people off.
Its a very diffiucult situation, but the people who are paying should be able to say who and how many they can invite. You need to be clear on the total number that you can afford and understand that while you would love to have everyone you know there, its not reasonable and people (who don't get invited) should understand that as well as the parents.
GL!
net267
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
We are paying for our day too so the 9 or so people my parents want to invite, they will pay for. My MIL only had 1 person so we decided to pay for her!
fdnybride163
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
we have told all sets up parents to make a full wish list of who they would really want and then we all sit down one night and start throwing people off the island
mattandjess2013
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
FH & I made up separate guest lists before we met with our parents. It ended up that pretty much everyone we had on our lists were the people the FILs and my parents had planned. Worked out well! We were very fortunate.
Supersara7
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
Same situation her ! FH and I are paying for evetything , have invited parents friends and some extended family. FMIL hands us a list of additional 20 cousins we said abs. Not! They can only come if FMIL pays for them.
linda_art
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
very similar situation... we arent having a large wedding and paying for whole thing... My dad wanted 20% of our guest list for his friends. Long story short he ending up with 14 friends. 12 of which ive known my whole life. He said he goes to these ppls kids weddings and gives good gifts and they will recipocate.... That was his way of trying to justify his bull$hiiiitt. Just happy its almost all over.
FutureMrsSweeney
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. We are asking all parents who they would like to include. However, we are letting everyone know that we have the final say with our guest list. As of right now, each parent is only asking for 1-2 people so it's not a huge issue.
How many people does your FMIL want to include??
ElizabethAndDan
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
Every family dynamic is different and it's a touchy situation. Remember after the wedding your in-laws will be in your life forever, so try your best not to have hurt feelings. Good luck!
torresm
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Re: How many invites to give parents?
Posted by FutureMrsSweeney
FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. We are asking all parents who they would like to include. However, we are letting everyone know that we have the final say with our guest list.
THIS! And FH and I are asking them to rank them on a list from Wants them there the most to the least. That way we can start from the top and put them in one by one until we can't take anymore. And then after that point, they will have to pay for them.
