Have you ladies included or excluded your FMIL? My parent's are paying for everything - yet I feel guilty - she is so on the sidelines. Any advice?
darly
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
I would have included my FMIL but she and my FFIL told us last week that since I was still having side effects from back surgery (par for the course of recovery) that they did not support (financially) our wedding (until I was 100%) so I am starting from scratch looking for new a new wedding space etc. So my advice is let her come to you if she would like to be involved - or ask her that you would like her to be involved, I think at least they would like it if you ask so they don't feel left out...
Sorry for the complaining - I have be online all night looking for places - The Metropolitan may be off the list... We'll figure it out...
september2004
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
include...$$$ has nothing to do with it...
darly
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
You're right What you should do is just ask her that you would her to be involved if that is what you like that way you are putting it out there and she will feel good b/c you asked!
nferrandi
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
I feel the same way about my FMIL. Sometimes I think she's perfectly content to sit on the sidelines and sometimes I wonder if she would like to be more involved. My FIL's gave us money towards the wedding and told us to spend it on whatever we needed, they're even having us plan the RD with their $$. Since I'm not sure where I stand with her, I always try to call her when we book a new vendor or something and at least share that with her. She wasn't with me to pick out my dress, but I'm thinking of inviting her to come to one of my fittings.
bridejune04
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
I've included my FMIL with everyting. It's just nice to have them involved so they don't feel left out.
butterfly20
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
my fh and i have made all the decisions... ive research the places, then we both went around to the vendors that sounded good.... after we booked the places both mother, and fmil were told within the next day, although we both live at home still... although i do sometimes ask for opinions on colors or something...
violetfairy
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
My FILs haven't been involved at all yet, but not for any bad reason-- I love them and they love me. I just don't quite know how to involve them and they never ask. What, exactly, do you do to involve your FILs? Ask for opinions? Ask them to come shopping with you? They live an hour away from me, so I always feel it's imposing if I ask them to come out here to do stuff that I can take care of by myself. I do wish they'd mention the RD, though... I'm hoping they'll take care of that, but maybe they're waiting for me to ask them to. I don't know.
NYCHICK
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
I included FMIL becasue she is very good at evaluating things and giving her opinions being being forceful. My mother on the other hand is a whole other story.needless to say I just call her when I need money and tell her things that are already in place.
Jess2
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
I've not really included her, but I don't think she's really wants to be included. It's not that I don't love her, but that's just sort of the way it's gone. I've asked for her opinion on the BM color, but that was about it.
butterfly20
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
Posted by NYCHICK
I included FMIL becasue she is very good at evaluating things and giving her opinions being being forceful. My mother on the other hand is a whole other story.needless to say I just call her when I need money and tell her things that are already in place.
i agree.. my mother seems to want things her way, so her opinion isnt very helpful(since its my wedding i want it my way), but my fmil will take time thinking about it and give an opinion, and not be offended if i dont pick it, shes also very helpful if im deciding between two things(maybe she's more helpful to me and involved since she only has sons).....
MissM
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Re: How much infuelence with FMIL?
Thanks for the advice - although I'm not sure what to involve them in. We are keeping it very simple - but I think I'll ask if she has any ideas on anything.
