Re: How much to give at a Bar Mitzvah???

My pleasure. BUT.. keep in mind that there are people who do not send their kids to Hebrew school or educate their children through Yeshiva and still have Bar and Bat Mitzvahs for their children. They may have their child tutored by a Rabbi or Cantor (or other person) at the home for this one particular event. Not everyone's experience is the same. There are reasons for everything.

For example, I am a special education teacher. One year, I had a student, who was quite autistic who had a Bar Mitzvah. His preparation and demonstration of the knowledge he acquired was vastly different from any other I had seen. Watching his parents celebrate his achievements that day was one of the most beautiful things I ever saw. It was very meaningful for them and for me as his teacher to participate. Funny, I didnt give him cash because I was uncomfortable. What I did give him was a Menorah with a Winnie the Pooh theme. The candle holders were honey pots. This child loved Winnie the Pooh and his Bar Mitzvah was during Chanukah that year.

Re: How much to give at a Bar Mitzvah???

I went to Hebrew School for 8 LONG years.

Re: How much to give at a Bar Mitzvah???

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Posted by sarahbelle

Try to give in denominations of $18 - it is a lucky number.

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This is true, I went to a bunch when I was in middle school, and I my mother always sent me with a gift of $50, or $75 depending on the affair....and then she was told by a few of her work friends who were jewish that I should be giving in denominations of 18-so either 54 or 72...

eta-I hope that I didn't give cheap gifts....

Re: How much to give at a Bar Mitzvah???

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Posted by LFitzy79

eta-I hope that I didn't give cheap gifts....

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Oh goodness, you didn't. You gave very generously, especially as a 13 year old going to another 13 year old's party.

This debate comes up every few months, and every time it gets very heated. However, the long and short of it is this:

A B'nai Mitzvah is a very important milestone in a child's life. It is the culmination of many years of study (I myself was in some sort of Jewish Education from the age of 2), and therefore is cause to celebrate. Some families can throw bigger parties than others. Mine was almost entirely homemade - I made the goodie bags, the sign in board, and the centerpieces myself, Mom made almost all the food herself, and we hired a DJ to entertain almost 200 people in the event room of our Synagogue. Other people have lavish, catered affairs. It boils down to this:

That kid is going to get a LOT of gifts. And if the kid isn't a spoiled brat, he/she will be grateful for each and every one of those gifts, no matter how big or small. Giving in multiples of $18 is lucky, but is by no means mandatory. The idea of covering your plate is a purely NY invention. I had never heard of it before coming there. I got, and have given, many many many $18 checks for B'nai Mitzvot. I was Grateful, and the kids who've gotten that from me have been Grateful. My cousin had his Bar Mitzvah last year. I got him a mug and gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (one of his favorite places) and he jumped up and down and hugged me like I had just offered to buy him a car. In 10 years, he'll remember that he got lots of money from various people, and Cousin Rachel got him gift certificates to Krispy Kreme.

I'm very sad that for many people, the B'nai Mitzvah has become nothing more than an excuse for a party.

Re: How much to give at a Bar Mitzvah???

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by LFitzy79

eta-I hope that I didn't give cheap gifts....

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Oh goodness, you didn't. You gave very generously, especially as a 13 year old going to another 13 year old's party.

This debate comes up every few months, and every time it gets very heated. However, the long and short of it is this:

A B'nai Mitzvah is a very important milestone in a child's life. It is the culmination of many years of study (I myself was in some sort of Jewish Education from the age of 2), and therefore is cause to celebrate. Some families can throw bigger parties than others. Mine was almost entirely homemade - I made the goodie bags, the sign in board, and the centerpieces myself, Mom made almost all the food herself, and we hired a DJ to entertain almost 200 people in the event room of our Synagogue. Other people have lavish, catered affairs. It boils down to this:

That kid is going to get a LOT of gifts. And if the kid isn't a spoiled brat, he/she will be grateful for each and every one of those gifts, no matter how big or small. Giving in multiples of $18 is lucky, but is by no means mandatory. The idea of covering your plate is a purely NY invention. I had never heard of it before coming there. I got, and have given, many many many $18 checks for B'nai Mitzvot. I was Grateful, and the kids who've gotten that from me have been Grateful. My cousin had his Bar Mitzvah last year. I got him a mug and gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (one of his favorite places) and he jumped up and down and hugged me like I had just offered to buy him a car. In 10 years, he'll remember that he got lots of money from various people, and Cousin Rachel got him gift certificates to Krispy Kreme.

I'm very sad that for many people, the B'nai Mitzvah has become nothing more than an excuse for a party.

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I remember being so jealous that I didn't get that kind of celebration for my comfirmation I made my mom promise that I could have a really big parties with all my friends for my sweet 16!
I didn't know that Krispy Kreme had gift certificates, that's awesome! I know what grab bag gift I'm bringing to the holiday party this year!!!!