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How rude is this??
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Re: How rude is this??
i think its up and down. usually teh rule of theumb is if they are invited to the eparty they should be invited to the wedding but that was a little out of your hands.
maybe some people will just forget and not remember the wedding coming up and not miss the invite lol
maybe you can have a 'B' list and invite some of those people as some No's come in?
maybe some people will just forget and not remember the wedding coming up and not miss the invite lol
maybe you can have a 'B' list and invite some of those people as some No's come in?
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Re: How rude is this??
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Re: How rude is this??
We were kind of in the same boat. FH's parents are paying for the eparty so they wanted some people there that will not be invited to the wedding. I told them this. After going back and forth, I got them to narrow it down to six people and my parents said fine they can invite the extra six people.
It really depends on the situation, but as long as your fmil is aware of this, then I think its ok.
It really depends on the situation, but as long as your fmil is aware of this, then I think its ok.
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Re: How rude is this??
Sounds like the same boat i was on a few years ago. My MIL invited alot of friends from work that we did not know or never met. We told her we wanted to invite people we knew because we were inviting them to the wedding. She said not to worry because they won't be at the wedding. Well when it came around for invites MIL said to invite her friends again and we told her we don't have it budgeted and she said they were not going to be invited. She ended up paying for the extra people because we couldn't afford it.
As for telling everyone details just say sometime in the next year or so and give the location. You don't have to go into specifics because hopefully they will forget. If FH's mother insists down the road and changes her mind to invite them to the wedding tell her she has to pay for them because my MIL changed her mind 1 year later. Congrats and good luck on planning.
As for telling everyone details just say sometime in the next year or so and give the location. You don't have to go into specifics because hopefully they will forget. If FH's mother insists down the road and changes her mind to invite them to the wedding tell her she has to pay for them because my MIL changed her mind 1 year later. Congrats and good luck on planning.
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Re: How rude is this??
FMIL did this too... she invited a couple people that arn't invited to the wedding (but one of them is their neighbor and she said it would be mean if she sees a big party going on next door and she wasn't invited)
part of our favors will be our std magnets.... awkward much?
so we just told her no, they arn't coming because they arn't invited to the wedding.![]()
part of our favors will be our std magnets.... awkward much?
so we just told her no, they arn't coming because they arn't invited to the wedding.
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Re: How rude is this??
To be honest, many ppl at the e-party may assume they're invited to the wedding. I wouldn't personally be comfortable with that but you could just say, look its a small OOT wedding but we did want to be able to celebrate with you here at the eparty.
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Re: How rude is this??
I always figured it was custum to invite those from the eparty to the wedding. I know if I went to an eparty, Id expect to be invited to the wedding- its like inviting someone to a shower and not to the wedding. JMHO.
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Re: How rude is this??
It is rude of her to invite people when you have made it known that htey will not be invited to the wedding due to the budget...NOW on the other hand-SHE should have to deal with the repurcussions of inviting them to the Eparty, its rude and its not right but at this point I dont think there is much that you can do
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Re: How rude is this??
out of town may be your saving grace.
if it's a neighbor stopping by I wouldn't worry at all.
If it's a casual friend, I would say, we are having a small wedding out of town so we can only invite a few dozen people, we would really like it if you could come to the party.
I was invited to a shower but not the wedding and it felt odd. I was scheduled to cover the brides shift at work the night of her wedding, so I kind of understood.
if it's a neighbor stopping by I wouldn't worry at all.
If it's a casual friend, I would say, we are having a small wedding out of town so we can only invite a few dozen people, we would really like it if you could come to the party.
I was invited to a shower but not the wedding and it felt odd. I was scheduled to cover the brides shift at work the night of her wedding, so I kind of understood.
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Re: How rude is this??
Wow, this post was like reading my life.
We had FMIL tell the extra people she invited that they were being invited to the e-party but not necessarily the wedding unless enough family members and our friends could not come. We put the burden on her to make sure those extra people understood.
We had FMIL tell the extra people she invited that they were being invited to the e-party but not necessarily the wedding unless enough family members and our friends could not come. We put the burden on her to make sure those extra people understood.
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Re: How rude is this??
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Re: How rude is this??
I am going to be completly honest - dont get mad. ![]()
I think that it is rude to have people at your engagement party and not your wedding. People may think its like asking for a gift. As for your mother - I know how you feel. FFIL gave me a ridiculus list of people that me and FH do not know for our wedding. We are paying for the wedding entirely on our own.
Sometimes our parents need to be reminded that its not their wedding - its yours. Do what you want and need to do. If you cant afford it your going to have to put your foot down.
Sometimes our parents need to be reminded that its not their wedding - its yours. Do what you want and need to do. If you cant afford it your going to have to put your foot down.
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Re: How rude is this??
I agree with Bride908.
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Re: How rude is this??
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Re: How rude is this??
Sounds like its a losing proposition from your end of things. Has she done up the invites yet for this? Perhaps you can have her word them so it's not a glaring 'E-PARTY' all over it. Not sure what to suggest, but it sounds like you are going to have to just deal with it and the repercussions later on.
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