how to ask a bridesmaid...

So one of my bridesmaids had to excuse herself from the bridal party and I need an bridesmaid ASAP! (dresses need to be ordered by next month) I know someone who is the wife of one my groomsmen. I like her, she's very sweet but My fh's gripe about asking her from the beginning was that she didnt ask me to be in her party but my view of it is that their married now and its a little different. Also, they don't drive so if I put her in the party, it would be easy for them to get to the wedding and more comfortable. I don't have any other girlfriends. (most of my friends are guys and gm already!) I just think this is easy.

The only thing I'm worried about is her thinking its a last minute choice. She doesn't know i've asked all my girls or anything like that it's just that when I ask her, I'm going to have to tell her the dresses need to be ordered next month...that might tip her off into thinking its last minute. What do you guys think? I don't want her to think she's someone I settled for. I want her to feel comfortable with the idea and I know she would say yes. advice?? TIA!

IMHO if you didnt ask her in the first place it is for a reason. She shouldnt be asked just because you want to fill a spot.

I am having an uneven bridal party and think there is nothing wrong with you leaving it as is and not including another person.

I was a last minute addition to a friends wedding. She just explained that her FH had said no originally because my FH was a GM and they didn't want to burden us. I was thrilled to be an addition! I also added my FSIL last minute but I had an excuse because FBIL hadn't proposed yet so I felt wierd asking his GF and stepping on his toes! Just ask her!

Just ask her chica! =-)
If she wants to be in ur Bridal Party she will say yes...
U dont have to say 'I want you to b my bridesmaid BUT you must order ur dress SOON'...

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Posted by pjc92980

IMHO if you didnt ask her in the first place it is for a reason. She shouldnt be asked just because you want to fill a spot.

I am having an uneven bridal party and think there is nothing wrong with you leaving it as is and not including another person.

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THIS EXACTLY! Don't be one of those girls that think everything needs to be 'matchy matchy'. It doesn't.

This is your wedding, not a Sweet 16. You don't need slot fillers for a BP! I completely agree with PJC, if you didn't ask her in the first place, don't feel like you need her there just to have an 'even' BP, no one cares about that!

I would not ask her. I didnt ask my FBIL's wife which happens to be the BM to be in my bridal party. Her and I have an OK relashionship.

In your case I would have one girl walk down with the GM. I seen it before and it looks nice.

i am happy to see that others share my opinion...when i looked at the posting before and everyone said to add her I thought maybe i was just crazy

to me, being in the bp is an honor and even though she may say yes, she may also be hurt that she was an afterthought. if you wanted her in it in the first place you would have included her even if your numbers didnt match.
When FH and I picked our BP it wasnt a matter of saying ok we can each have 4 it was a matter of who is the closest to us that we want to be part of it. His number was 6 and mine was 4 and we said ok done! He wasnt going to rate his friends and determine which 2 to eliminate based on their friendships nor was I going to ask 2 additional girls that I am friends with just to make it match.
To me the bridal party is all about friendships and connection you have with people...not getting a certain number of people to fill the amount of positions you want to have.

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Posted by pjc92980

IMHO if you didnt ask her in the first place it is for a reason. She shouldnt be asked just because you want to fill a spot.

I am having an uneven bridal party and think there is nothing wrong with you leaving it as is and not including another person.

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This exactly

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Posted by pjc92980

i am happy to see that others share my opinion...when i looked at the posting before and everyone said to add her I thought maybe i was just crazy

to me, being in the bp is an honor and even though she may say yes, she may also be hurt that she was an afterthought. if you wanted her in it in the first place you would have included her even if your numbers didnt match.
When FH and I picked our BP it wasnt a matter of saying ok we can each have 4 it was a matter of who is the closest to us that we want to be part of it. His number was 6 and mine was 4 and we said ok done! He wasnt going to rate his friends and determine which 2 to eliminate based on their friendships nor was I going to ask 2 additional girls that I am friends with just to make it match.
To me the bridal party is all about friendships and connection you have with people...not getting a certain number of people to fill the amount of positions you want to have.

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WORD!!!!

ITA!!!!

Why do you feel that you must add another BM? FH and I have uneven people and it never crossed my mind to be an issue. You can just have one girl walk with two guys or vice versa.

If you did not include her the begin with, then I don't think you should include her now.

I have an uneven amount for similar reasons ... Lets be each other's space filler!