how to word this...

I want to make it clear to my BMs that their dates, friends, and children cannot come to my parents' house or the salon before the wedding. I don't want anyone but my family and the BMs there while we are getting ready. I don't want anyone seeing me beforehand and I don't want to deal with any extra people hanging around - neither do my parents.

I'm sending out an email today with info on the rehearsal (b/c no one got that they had to go to the church before the rehearsal dinner and several people even thought they could wear jeans to the rehearsal dinner ) I also want to remind them of the time for our appointments the day of the wedding.

How do I throw in something pithy to say 'Don't bring anyone with you!'

'All of us and my family getting ready and taking pictures the day of the wedding is going to be pretty hectic and I don't want anyone other than my parents and you girls seeing me before the ceremony. Please plan on only you coming to my parents' house and the salon -- and have your date and anyone else go straight to the church that day. You might want to have someone drop you off at my parents' house b/c you'll be taking the limo to the church and RH. Otherwise, plan for someone to drive you back to get your car afterwards or the next morning. (You can park on the street overnight if necessary.)'

Is that okay to say? Bridezilla-ish? Is that clear enough? I'm worried my FSIL will bring her son or something and that one or two of my friends will think their boyfriends can come.

I have 7 BMs - that's more people than I even want there while we get ready!

Is it that bad that no one wants to comment?!

I think it's fine. Honestly. I just can't believe that you may have an issue w/BMs bringing their dates to your house or the salon. All the weddings I've been a BM in, it's pretty understood that someone drops you off (or you drive and leave your car) at wherever your getting ready and your date meets you at the wedding.

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Posted by missliss

I just re-read too....your BP didn't think they had to go to the church rehearsal??

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One of my girls thought we'd just practice at the restaurant - she didn't read the insert in the invite that says the rehearsal is at the church at 7pm sharp -- with directions.

In fairness to her, though, she's never been to a Catholic (or any Christian) wedding.

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Posted by missliss

I think it's fine. Honestly. I just can't believe that you may have an issue w/BMs bringing their dates to your house or the salon. All the weddings I've been a BM in, it's pretty understood that someone drops you off (or you drive and leave your car) at wherever your getting ready and your date meets you at the wedding.

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Maybe I'll take out the part that over-explains all that.

My FSILs don't have a clue, though. They keep asking if it's a cash bar. My FILs didn't even make hotel reservations until last week and missed our block. I want to

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Posted by Kara and Todd

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Posted by missliss

I think it's fine. Honestly. I just can't believe that you may have an issue w/BMs bringing their dates to your house or the salon. All the weddings I've been a BM in, it's pretty understood that someone drops you off (or you drive and leave your car) at wherever your getting ready and your date meets you at the wedding.

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Maybe I'll take out the part that over-explains all that.

My FSILs don't have a clue, though. They keep asking if it's a cash bar. My FILs didn't even make hotel reservations until last week and missed our block. I want to

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If they don't have a clue then I would def. leave it in. Best to explain it thoroughly beforehand than have to deal with that stress the day of. I don't think what you wrote was rude, or that it had any implied negative tone. It was very concise and was to the point. Well said.

Sorry you have to spell it out for them but best to let everyone know what you want then a hole mess of people showing up!

How about something like this:

Let's start this day in a very special way...

Our wedding date is fast approaching
and nows the perfect time
to get the girls together
before the wedding bells chime!

I would like some time
with just the girls...
Please join me
Saturday August 11, 2007
at ?:?? a.m.

Put the address here where you want everyone to meet...

Please say 'I Do'!
Love, Kara

PS Please have all dates meet you at the church so you have transporation home after our wedding reception!
Thank you!

Good Luck!

We all know people are very sensative. It sounds good as is, but you could make it a little lighter. UNLESS, you think they won't take it seriously, then I say stick with it. Just a few thoughts...
'The day of the wedding, I will be getting ready at my parents' house with my family. I will need all of you there by X:XX. I am not sure what each of your inidividual plans are as far as your family and guests are concerned, but for sanity sake, I would appreciate it if your dates and family met you at the church. I expect the photographer to arrive at X:XX. Once he/she arrives, things will get even more hectic. The less people and more intimate the better.
As for transportation, the limo will be taking us to the church and reception. Please make plans for getting home. If need be, you can drop cars off by the RH the night before. There is parking on the street.'

Just some thoughts, good luck!

You can put something in there about having the guys possibly carpool togehter since they will not be with the girls at your house.

I once was in a wedding in Westchester and all the bridesmaids carpooled to the hotel and the husbands and dates put together this elaborate plan to get to the hotel where we were getting ready and pick up the car we left there. LOL!

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Posted by trza17

Sounds a bit Bridezilla-ish to me. I would give them more credit then to think they would bring theiir date with them to get ready.

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Um, two of them have already mentioned something about their boyfriends not having anything to do so they'd probably come 'help out' while we were getting ready... and my FMIL assumed her grandson would be with his mom getting ready until the babysitter comes at 1pm. The day starts at 9:30... (FSIL, his mom, is a BM)

ETA - The girls and their boyfriends aren't OOT.

Maybe I'll put 'Since it will be just the bridesmaids and my parents at the house that day, let me know if you need detailed directions to the church for your dates. Just let me know where they are coming from!'

I had to re-read it in the mindframe as one of your BM. I think its fine. I had my girls there when I got ready and 2 of their moms dropped them off and hung out for a few minutes. I wasn't even dressed at the time. I was still in my pjs with my hair/makeup done and having a cup of coffee and eating a bagel.
The important thing to remember is should that happen don't let it stress you out its not nessesary(sp?)
Sending this out makes it clear what you excpect and they should as your friends/family respect you. If someone sticks their head for a few as long its only a few, then its not the end of the world. And the rest of your ladies, and your parents should worry about kicking those hangers out not you.
HTH

Kara, you don't sound Bridezilla-ish ok...it's your day and you have every right to specify what you want and not want. The last thing I want is a bunch of ppl around my house. It just makes things more hectic. As for your girls, they should understand. Weddings I been involved with was always like this. We meet up at the Brides home and our BF, husband or guest meets at the church or ceremony site. The morning of, should be you, your girls, close family and maybe some OOT guest. You do what you feel is right ok..JMO..

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Posted by Kara and Todd

Maybe I'll put 'Since it will be just the bridesmaids and my parents at the house that day, let me know if you need detailed directions to the church for your dates. Just let me know where they are coming from!'

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I think this is perfect. Just act like it's assumed that they know dates don't come to the house while the girls get ready.

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Posted by dgirl

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Posted by Kara and Todd

Maybe I'll put 'Since it will be just the bridesmaids and my parents at the house that day, let me know if you need detailed directions to the church for your dates. Just let me know where they are coming from!'

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I think this is perfect. Just act like it's assumed that they know dates don't come to the house while the girls get ready.

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agreed!! short & sweet is sometimes best. hope everything goes smoothly Kara!!