How weird is this????

I just recieved a save the date... to a person's wedding that I have never met!!!!!!!!!
To make a long story short my fmil has a best friend. Her best friend's daughter is the one getting married. We were planning on inviting my fmil's best friend since she was on the list but not her 2 daughters whom I have never met! Well her wedding is a few months after mine and now I get this std. Now do I have to invite them to our wedding?!?!?!? fh met the girl once... about 5 years ago when their mothers were trying to set them up!

Re: How weird is this????

well, etiquette says that you do not need to feel obligated.

Of course, in my own little world, I would feel obligated.

Then, of course, if you don't invite her to your wedding, they are probably going to be kicking themselves for having sent you a STD, because then they will have to invite you.

They probably assumed that they were on your invite list

Re: How weird is this????

Now I dont know what to do! I dont want this girl I dont even know at my wedding and I sure as heck dont want to shell out $$ for her wedding. I know when I tell my fmil I dont want them to come shes going to get her panties in a ruffly

Re: How weird is this????

I am inviting people who didn't invite me to their wedding (I heard it was a space issue but they never mentioned why i wasn't invited). I want these people at my wedding and they are good friends. I was confused at not getting an invite to theirs but not mad. So - for your situation - you need to realize that she may not really expect to be invited.

Lots of reception places have high minimums. My parents often get invites and say that they must be invited because the bride and groom have to meet a number.

People make invite lists differently and she will understand if she does not get an invite.

It's strange to invite people that you don't know so I think she will not really care if you show up.

Re: How weird is this????

My rule is if I have never met them, they are not invited. That is, unless they are FH family.

Re: How weird is this????

---

Posted by fashionhag

My rule is if I have never met them, they are not invited. That is, unless they are FH family.

---

That was my rule too. We have made just a couple of exceptions.

If you don't go to her wedding, you are not obligated to invite her.
She could be just trying to make her minimum, or maybe she is like a lot of us who gets her mothers list & is like 'Who the heck is that?', well, ok, if it will make mom happy. . .

If you & Fh don't know her she shouldn't be insulted if you don't comw or don't invite her to yours.

Ettiquete says you should send a small gift, but if you don't know her, it might not be neccessary.

Re: How weird is this????

There are some people I don't know or met once a long time ago that are invited to my wedding, but they are all family that lives out of state/country. Recently, a lot of my friends have gotten married and it is always interesting to see who gets 'cut', sometimes it is surprising. Honestly, I had to cut my list and I would rather invite people I know and love than someone I don't know just to reciprocate an invite. I wouldn't go to that wedding either, I would send a small gift and best wishes.

Re: How weird is this????

I don;t think that you should feel obligated. I agree with the other girls when they say that some people have high minumums and much stretch. But at the same time if this is your FMIL's best friend then is your FH close to the girls? Did they grow up together? if so then maybe you should consider inviitng them. Good Luck!

Re: How weird is this????

---

Posted by james'pokey

I don;t think that you should feel obligated. I agree with the other girls when they say that some people have high minumums and much stretch. But at the same time if this is your FMIL's best friend then is your FH close to the girls? Did they grow up together? if so then maybe you should consider inviitng them. Good Luck!

---

No my fh is not close to them and didnt grow up with them. He met the girl who is getting married a few times because her mother was trying to set her up with him. He wasnt interested and they never became friends.

Re: How weird is this????

i wouldnt invite them. I never felt that an invitation to a wedding meant you would get one in return (or should!)

Re: How weird is this????

We had a similar situation and we didn't invite them.

My husband's aunt remarried and her new husband had two children (my DH and I met them once at a bbq). So when we wrote up our guest list we asked our parents to submit who they wanted. My FIL didn't put these new 'cousins' on the list and we didn't think twice about it. We sent our STDs to his aunt, her husband and her two kids (cousins that my DH grew up with). Then the stepdaughter got engaged and planned a wedding in 6 months and invited us! I was willing to invite them to ours, but DH said no, so we didn't. And we still haven't seen the couple and they've been married for a year and a half and now have a baby girl!

Re: How weird is this????

You aren't obligated to invite her o your wedding, but if you decide not to, this might cause problems between your MIL & her friend.

Re: How weird is this????

Is there a way you can say that because of your budget, your guest list has to be limited? This way, your fmil won't get as upset???