How will I ever decide????? (long)

I just don't know what to do. I never planned on asking my bridal party until next summer, because I wanted to be 100% sure of who I was picking, and I have heard stories of girls thinking they were the closest friends and the friend flakes out. So I'm not asking anyone, however, I just don't know how to choose!!!!

FH has said that he does not want a very big bridal party, and I agree because too many gets out of hand. I always thought i would have a larger bridal party with about 8 on each side (i don't want more than that). Now I have no sisters and FH has two, so in my head they are automatically in. My cousin is already in, it's just something we always said b/c I have 3 brothers, she has 3 and we are each others sisters (even though she is in nebraska and i'm in ny). I also have a friend that I grew up with since 2nd grade, we went to college together, lived together, so she is also guarenteed. Which means now I definitely have 4, and according to FH that leaves me 2.

I just don't know how to decide amonst the rest. I know I don't have to decide yet, but I am looking for suggestions on how people narrowed down their bridal party. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I don't want someone to think that they aren't as important to me as they thought they were when they are, and because I ask them to either read or do something else, I don't want them to think they are lower on the pole.

So I have 5 people to fit into 2, maybe 3, and if FH is drunk one night maybe 4 spots. Two are my cousins that I have grown up, one is someone I have known since I was born (her parents are my godparents, and our relationship is really special because i moved away when I was 7 and we still managed to stay REALLY close always living 1/2 a countyr apart), another is someone who through high school and college we are close and have still stayed friends (we don't see each other much now adays, but when we do it's just the same) and the last is someone i have known since 2nd grade and we are just really close.

I don't have any sisters, so my friends and cousins have always been my sisters. I've gone through stages with them all, and everyone has a special place in my heart, and I just don't know how to decide. Then as soon as I think ok i have made a decision, it all changes. Then I hear from others how much this person would like to be a part of my bridal party (which I know shouldn't be the reason but its like I want them and they want to be a part so it really isn't that hard) So i just don't know how to decide!!!

hmmmm. . . thats a tough one. if i was u i would have the other 2 cousins. This way its mostly family except for the friend who u grew up with and went to college with.

ETA: is fh having ur brothers as his groomsman? also are u just having his sisters in it because they're his sisters? maybe u should reconsider having his sisters if ur not that close with them.

FH is having my brothers as his groomsmen...and I want to have his sisters...I think it's the right thing to do and I am close with them

I have tried putting myself in everyone's shoes...and all of these people are people who i already have been in or will be in their wedding parties which is what is making it that much harder!!!!!

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Posted by Mike and Jess

so how many would you have in all if you asked everyone that you wanted to ask?

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If i were to ask everyone it would be 9 girls total but I could decide if I have 8 (I think) and FH would have 6 guys regardless he says

Now I know the numbers don't have to be even, but I like even numbers, but i don't want to ask people just to keep the numbers even, so I was thinking that I would just do 8 girls and 6 guys

My Mom also suggested that I two to light candles and do readings (which I then reminded her that we have to include his family too). I just wouldn't want someone to feel less important ya know???

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

who should chose whomever you feel closest to and feel would be the most reliable. And don't feel bad when picking, its your day! Originally I felt bad also..but then when i thought about i said its my day and I want friends in that i know would be reliable..

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That's why I don't want to ask anyone until next summer because honestly things can change in a year (well 8 months now...time is already flying) ....This is just on my mind b/c it seems like everyone asks..so have you picked your bridal party yet, and then i'm reminded of the DIFFICULT decision I have to make. Even my mother and best friends said they wouldn't want to be me having to make this decision (that is honestly how hard it is and how close I am to these people)

lol that was pretty confusing! i am not really sure what to tell you but i was in the same boat and i am not sure if i made the right decision.
I am NOT having my bro and sis in the wedding - they will be over 40 and i seriously cant imagine asking them to shell out all that $$$ for one day when they have their own families to worry about! so to represent my family- i am having my cousin as my MOH
as for my friends i have about five girls who i consider my closest friends but i couldnt justify NOT having my brother, sister or other cousins in it if i had all of these girls. . . so i just picked my one best friend ( we have been friends forever, she lives across the st

FH picked his bro as his BM and he still has to pick another guy
his nieces will be a JR BM and FG - my niece will be another FG and my best friends little sister ( who is practically my little sister) is a Jr BM. ..

i feel pretty horrendous about the people i am leaving out but i think this is the best decision for us since we decided on it - my cousin just had a 35 person BP ( and she still left people out!) so we decided we didnt want a 'circus' bc that was definitely chaos!!!

bumping for my monday working girls

and I also talked to FH last night and said I just don't think I can narrow it to six...so we were talking and he said don't worry we'll figure it out when it's time..just don't stress out (so that sounds like he is more open to maybe another girl or two)

i just saw this! totally am feeling your pain on this one. i wanted to wait also...to see how things go...but i also want to give my girls the extra time to save $ and plan things and not feel rushed (cuz we do have a long engagement).

i am sooooo not looking forward to narrowing down the girls/making the decision because its going to cause at least some sort of drama.

everyone kept saying it would be soooo easy because i have no sisters but i think its a lot harder cuz everyone thinks therye going to be my bms and i dont have like sister obligations so it does make this harder.

keep us posted on the sitch because im stuck too

Picking the BP is one of the hardest decisions to make. FH and I didn't want a large BP either, and we decided that we're having an MOH and Best Man, 4 BMs and 4 Ushers, and a FG and RB. Even though we decided on the people, I still feel like I'm leaving people out. I'm only asking one of my cousins and one of my friends, but I'm justifying it because the cousin and friend I'm having I'm closest with out of all my other cousins and friends. Plus, the friend I'm picking is like a sister to me...we've been friends our entire lives.

Good luck picking out your BP everyone!