Our wedding guest list is just about complete. We outlawed pre 21 year olds to save money but my mother insists we 'make an exception' and allow my teenage cousin from Florida to attend the wedding. I explained to her the financial issue. We went back and forth. Finally she just said, 'Fine, how much person? I'll give you the cost of her plate.' I told her that I will not be accepting her money.
Invitations go out in a few months, and I know the issue is going to come up again. Has anyone ever dealt with something like this? How do you respond to something like that?
Watermelon5
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Re: How would you approach this?
Idk if it is one very special cousin maybe just make an exception. On the other hand, if it is going to open the flood gates for all other cousins that are 'almost' 21 then I would just say you finalized the list and thats that. I would probably just appease the fam and allow the 1 person to attend but that's just me! HTH!
HSsweethearts
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Re: How would you approach this?
I think in general, you should try to stay awya from 'oh I'll pay for this person...' because you could end up with a LOT of people on your guest list that you don't want, and the cost of the wedding is more than the RH price pp. more people means more invitations, more centerpieces, more favors, etc etc.
However, you should examine the across the board cut you're making. I think Under 21 can be a good guideline but you really need to examine it. if the cousin's family is coming up from FL to the wedding then I think of course you should invite them. if there's a chance they're willing to travel cross country to join your special day, I think you should involve them. it's also a nice thing for the parents so they don't have to leave their child home alone while they travel 1000 miles.
We invited our cousin's kids in FL. They're the only cousins invited. They're closer cousins in some ways and I just don't think it would be right to ask the parents to come all the way up here and have to worry about babysititng for their kids.
I would make the exception.
meghan13
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Re: How would you approach this?
We made an exception for out of state family. We felt like everyone was invited except for this one person and just let it go. But that was us, you have to do whats right for you.
ChristineNorah
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Re: How would you approach this?
We have already experienced a situation like this regarding our e party. From the beginning we made it clear that there would be no one under the age of 18. Serious drama broke out but we didn't back down. We were not willing to make any exceptions because we felt that would offend the families that we did not make an exception for. I think you need to keep it fair, whatever you decide you just need to stay strong. Everyone may not like your decision but it is your wedding and you need to do what works for the two of you..
StephanieJoy
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Re: How would you approach this?
what about 'b' list those people
but i do agree if that is what u and FH decided on stick with it
nic2011
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Re: How would you approach this?
Posted by StephanieJoy
what about 'b' list those people
but i do agree if that is what u and FH decided on stick with it
i agree
Katswedding11
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Re: How would you approach this?
it all depends on ur relationship with ur cousin. if ur not close, then i dunno why ur mom is making such a big deal, which is uncomfortable for you.
i would stand your ground i thats what u feel is right.
LBUDA
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Re: How would you approach this?
If you want your out of state Aunt/Uncle to be at the wedding, then I think you should invite your cousin as well...Many people take offense to not being invited. I understand that you are trying to keep costs down, but at 21 I would consider them an adult.
LoveyDovey
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Re: How would you approach this?
the problem with allowing your pre21 yr old cousin, is not a money issue, I mean 100 bucks(purely assumption on the plate price) is really not going to break the banke
the problem I see with it, is that other pre 21 yr olds and their family are going to be offended
We are not allowing any children, simple as that, bridal party only IF we decide to have ring bearer/flower girl
this way none of our family is offended I wouldnt make it about money, more about how you dont want kids there and all the others will be upset when they see another young person there
night_nurse
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Re: How would you approach this?
Thank you for all the great advice
AugustFeather
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Re: How would you approach this?
I would invite this person. Sometimes extending an invite can mean so much more than you might imagine plus their parents are coming from out of state..
kdm822
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Re: How would you approach this?
If you have no issues with your cousin then invite them... and let your mother pay since she wants them
chliekm
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Re: How would you approach this?
we mad the exception for out for my cousins kids, but are keeping the rule at 13 or 18 for others (still in discussion about that!). if shes willing to pay then how can you say no? plus they will give you the gift to cover her plate.
