My friend who is getting married June of 09 just called me crying. She asked her sister to be her MOH and her sister said she doesn't want to... Is it me or is this a slap in the face to her. What would you say or do?
kate0211
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yikes!! i guess it depends how close they are...i didn't even actually ASK my sister because it was implied - i couldnt imagine if she said she didnt want to!! maybe she doesn't have the money - it does cost a lot!!!
jtgarsik
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wow...did the sister say why???? is she unsupportive because she doesn't like the guy??
hannahshim
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WHOAA did she give a reason why? she should talk to her..
i asked my sister to be my MOH and one day she called me to tell me that she has to back down because shes pregnant. i was shocked with that.. I then began explaining to her that being pregnant isnt that bad.. and she turned around
talk to her thats the only advice I could give your friend.
autumnbride10
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I had that happen. My sister had told me years ago that she didn't want to be part of my wedding party, and that she wanted to enjoy herself as a guest. That was like 7 years ago. When I got engaged last summer, I was going to ask my best friend who I have been close to my whole life, but I thought, I should ask my sister first, and she still said no. So, my MOH is my best friend, and sister at heart.....
MJDoc12
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wow!!!!!!
that's crazy. does the sister not approve of the relationship/marriage? are they close?
my sister was my MOH...and it was just something she knew would happens cause well--she's my sister! one day if she ever gets married--i'll be hers!
PrincessBride09
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I think she should talk to her about how this makes her feel and see if there is a reason why. If the sister is really unsupportive, then I would advise her to ask a close friend who is supportive. My sister is my MOH and I will be hers when she gets married the year after me. It was implied for us as well! I hope everything works out for your friend.
chrismike
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I think this is part of the reason. My friend is getting married for the second time. Her sister has never been married... Maybe a bit of jealousy, sad to say...
irishgrl1017
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Yikes! I guess it depends on their relationship hard for me to say, but with the relationship I have with my sister I would be devestated!!!!!!!
Brendanzgirl
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SO the sister is not married, hum that was the only reason I could think of. I know my cousin didn't want to be in my bridal party b/c she is married. My sis is my MOH and is married yet she mentioned if someone else asked her she would say no at this point. It is somewhat of a hassle, you have more responsibility than the other guests and don't get to enjoy the whole cocktail hour. Maybe she is self conscious and doesn't like to be in photos? Who knows?! But it is somewhat of a slap in the face if she is the only sister.
Christine N Ralph
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I would be upset...but I dont think that just because you have she should automatically be your MOH. Tell your friend that its not her loss, its her sisters in the end
MrsS4
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I dont want to judge but that is crazy!!!
Munchkn16
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omg, I would be devestated... what's WRONG with this sister of hers?
Cpt2007
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This happened to a friend of mine...and she wasn't the bride in the equation... It all depends on how someone views the day and the situation.
In the case of my friend, when her sister asked her, my friend wasn't sure she would be in the country (she was applying to fellowships overseas), and told her sister that she wasn't sure she could be as much of a support as she would need in an MoH. Her sister turned around and chose a friend from college instead, crushing my friend who had never given her a firm 'no.' They had never been close but it was still a blow to her.
I think bottom line, you should counsel your friend to talk with her sister and see if there is another way she'd like to help with her wedding. Her sister may not feel comfortable with what is expected or any other number of things. She shouldn't speculate though; she should get the real reason why.
Topher
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Thats not right. What is the reason behind her saying no? I didn't even ask my sis she and I just knew thats what was gonna be. I feel bad for your friend.
GiantsBride
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I asked one of my close friends from college to be my BM last week and she said no. I have been totally bummed about it but trying to understand. She's a super busy person and she says money is really tight, plus her best friend is getting married soon too and she's the MOH. I understand and want to be as supportive as possible, but it still stings.
DCW 2008
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NO COMMENT LOL
yswedding
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Am I the only one that thinks that bridesmaids are just living walking centerpieces that match your wedding. Other than decorate your ceremony what else do they do?
PegaLega
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Posted by yswedding
Am I the only one that thinks that bridesmaids are just living walking centerpieces that match your wedding. Other than decorate your ceremony what else do they do?
They are supposed to be your support system, help you with the planning, put together non sense and pick up and drop off things you dont have the time to.
Tho I would love to know who actually has a set of BMs willing to do this...I for shiit sure did not
Back on topic...i would be hurt but truthfully I wouldnt chalk it up to jealousy so quickly. While I see nothing wrong with someone getting married twice maybe there is a reason the sister doesnt want to, too much responsibility...was she her MOH the first time around? I know if I was someones MOH their first wedding and they asked me the second I would say no for the simple fact that time and money of mine was spent on the first..and now I got to do it all again...NOPE! I would say no too.
Now if she is a jealous person then your friend should be upset but move on....better not to deal with a jealous MOH especially family they only cause problems TRUST ME on this one
FutureMrsLehmann
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Posted by yswedding
Am I the only one that thinks that bridesmaids are just living walking centerpieces that match your wedding. Other than decorate your ceremony what else do they do?
that's really all they should be. some people use them as more. i think if they're your BMs they should be your friends who are available to listen to your problems no matter if they're BMs or not.
