This is kind of a long story...but the shorter version is...Tomorrow night is my eparty...Yesterday I got a call from one of my good friends who is also one of my bms which upset me...On Monday she called me late at night bc her bf and her were having trouble...Despite all of the things I still had to do I met her for a drink...On Tuesday her bf broke up with her, and I left fh to console her and was there half the night...Then Wednesday she calls to tell me that he bfs grandfather died (it wasnt a surprise it was a matter of time) SHe told me that he wouldnt be able to make it to the eparty...but she would still come after the wake (She would get there at like 10ish) Today she calls me and said that she wouldnt be able to make it at all! Now I am upset because this isnt the 1st time that I have gone out of my way for her, and she doesnt feel like she should be at the party at all! Would you be upset? Or should I just let it go?
They ended up getting back together and I told her that I was really upset and that she should be there for me...Her and this guy have been together for 4 years so its not like hes just some guy that shes been with...but she told me that I was being selfish...Fh told me not to worry about it...and that it wasnt that big of a deal...but I realize that shes not the best friend that I have...and I think that is bothering me too...I am not getting myself upset over this...The party is going to go on whether or not she is there...and its going to be great!
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: How would you feel?
I would be upset. I have a friend that sounds just like your friend. I would understand that she has a wake, but she should be able to come after that. (even if it is at 10) At least then it would be showing an effort. jmo
SFAR89
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Re: How would you feel?
I am editing this, b/c i just realized this was HIS grandmother and she just broke up with him. Sorry, but i would be upset about it and i would mention something to her.
bella1028
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Re: How would you feel?
For me personally, i would be very upset....please dont get offended by my question, but is she the type of girl who drops EVERYTHING for the random guy in her life? I had a friend like that and no matter who it was at the time he came before everything....its sad that his grandma died of course, but at the same time he just broke up with her and you were there for her and I imagine she has known full well about your eparty right? I am sorry
Soon2BMrsC09
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Re: How would you feel?
i would be upset - but if shes a BM she has certain responsibilities - i would use this as a 'free' card - if it becomes a repetitive thing - i would rethink any responsibilities that you enlist her in for the wedding - but you have bigger fish to fry than worrying about if she will be there or not - i know that u said u guys are close but i doubt she will make or break your party - put a smile on - your celebrating how great you and your FH are and the upcoming celebration sure you'll be great
CristinanBen2010
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Re: How would you feel?
I would be upset especially since you were there for her . If I was her, I would go to the wake during the day and then come to the party at night that way she does both even though they already broke up and she doesnt have to go to the wake. I guess she wants to go because she feels bad that he died and they had just broken up.
MrsS4
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Re: How would you feel?
I would be upset... but if they are no longer together, why would she want to go? it is up to her, but she should go to the funeral or a different time for the wake (usually a couple viewing hours) so she can attend your E-party. I would just talk to her.
hth
SummerBride10
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Re: How would you feel?
I would talk to her- there's no way she should miss your e-party. Let her know how much it means to you as your friend that shes there!
FtrMrsV
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Re: How would you feel?
i would definitely be upset. I dont see any reason why she would go to the wake in the first place since she is no longer together with her boyfriend. Secondly you went to help her and be there for her as a friend and now she isn't even going to be there for you when you need her. ugh!!! I would tell her how you feel about the situation. She should know that your upset.
michesq
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Re: How would you feel?
i would be upset. talk to her and tell her how u feel
BoxOfRocks
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Re: How would you feel?
It's disappointing that she would miss the engagement party, but the wake is more important. Sorry, but funerals > weddings or any wedding related activity. Look, your friend will have all the time in the world to celebrate many happy milestones with you. His grandmother will have no more milestones. Despite the fact they are back together, even if she wanted to support her ex through this difficult time, I think you should have been supportive of her doing so.
You mentioned that this isn't the first time this friend has let you down. Perhaps there are indeed other times where your complaint is warranted. However, in the case of the funeral, I think you should let this one go.
Jayla127
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Re: How would you feel?
I would probably be annoyed and aggravated but I would think that the funeral would kind of supersede the engagement party. Not to knock your joy but even though your friend and her bf have been on and off she still sees the need to support him through this difficult period. Maybe she had a good relationship with the grandmother and felt compelled to be there.
On the other hand, you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her about your feelings. You seem to have some things that need to be iron out amongst yourselves. If not, I think this issue will escalate into something that could be avoidedby just talking JMO
Summer07Bride
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Re: How would you feel?
Posted by BoxOfRocks
It's disappointing that she would miss the engagement party, but the wake is more important. Sorry, but funerals > weddings or any wedding related activity. Look, your friend will have all the time in the world to celebrate many happy milestones with you. His grandmother will have no more milestones. Despite the fact they are back together, even if she wanted to support her ex through this difficult time, I think you should have been supportive of her doing so.
You mentioned that this isn't the first time this friend has let you down. Perhaps there are indeed other times where your complaint is warranted. However, in the case of the funeral, I think you should let this one go.
