how would you iterpret this

LadyDuda81509 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:09 AM

how would you iterpret this

Ok so I just emailed my FMIL to find out if she was planning on sending out invites for the RD...

My the FH and my parents are going tomorrow for a tasting at the RH...we are bringing my parents because um they are paying!! we mentioned to his monther last week that we were going on THURSDAY may 28th for the tasting....
well this is what she wrote back to my question about the invites...

'I'm still from the old school, so I never heard of sending invitations for the rehersal dinner. Just whoever was at the church came back for the food. But I'm open to change.

If you 2 are not busy tomorrow nite, can I invite myself to dinner and we can talk about these things, maybe I can get a food list for Rustic Grill. I can't believe it will be here before we know it. Or maybe we can grill on Sunday, if you are available'

(is she trying to get herself invited tomorrow...or is it quite possible that she forgot about the tasting and just wants to come to our apt for dinner? hmmmmmm....)

MarjorieFrank Posted: May 27, 2009 11:12 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

My FMIL invited herself to my tasting, and then showed up with FSIL as well. I was so embarassed and the RH was so not expecting all those people. LoL just wanted to commiserate with you if that is what she is doing too.

Lsorrent Posted: May 27, 2009 11:14 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Maybe she genuinely forgot, or maybe she's trying to get invited to the tasting. Can you bring one extra person to the tasting?

My RH allows up to 6 people for tasting. So it will be FH and I, my parents, and his parents. My parents are paying for the wedding, but we're involving his parents as much as possible too as they have offered to pay for our HM. So I can't imagine NOT asking them to come to the tasting since I have the head space.

Panamasweet Posted: May 27, 2009 11:15 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

It sounds to me like she really forgot about the tasting and wants to come to your home for dinner.Just remind her that you guys are going out

MrsCM Posted: May 27, 2009 11:16 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

I think it sounds like she forgot, I would just let her know you are busy and opt for Sunday

little j Posted: May 27, 2009 11:20 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

i think she forgot. just remind her and say sunday is fine :) GL!

LadyDuda81509 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:24 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

we also told her that we have my aunt and uncles anniversary party as well as a christening party for our friends baby on sunday! i think shes being slick! lol

and altho it kinda bugs me that she is not paying a dime for the wedding and originally wanted the RH in her backyard! ill suck it up and invite her! after all she is going to be family soon...right!?

MrsCM Posted: May 27, 2009 11:26 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Posted by LadyDuda81509

we also told her that we have my aunt and uncles anniversary party as well as a christening party for our friends baby on sunday! i think shes being slick! lol

and altho it kinda bugs me that she is not paying a dime for the wedding and originally wanted the RH in her backyard! ill suck it up and invite her! after all she is going to be family soon...right!?

I wouldn't she should come out and ask if she wants to come, I don't like sneakyness

alli3131 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:31 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Is she not invited to the tasting because she isnt payign or that the RH only allows 4 people? I think you should call the RH and then ask her to go to the tasting.

MY DH & I paid for ours but still invited both sets of parents. We wanted to keep everyone somewhat involved rather than alienating someone.

SHe might be hurt she wasnt invited.

Juhgail Posted: May 27, 2009 11:58 AM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Posted by little j

i think she forgot. just remind her and say sunday is fine :) GL!

ITA

MrsCM Posted: May 27, 2009 12:04 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

We didn't invite anyone to ours because we didn't want ten different opinions which is what would happen. It's our wedding and we don't want others to try to change our minds about what we want.

Mrs. Bernabe Posted: May 27, 2009 12:48 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

DH and I obviously invited my parents bc they should be there and I felt the same went in regards to DH's mom regardless of who is paying for what. I am sure you are allowed up to 6 max, which would include the bride and grooms parents. Invite her and see it as a special moment to share with those you and DH love.

asg450 Posted: May 27, 2009 02:09 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Maybe she really did forget. Is she the type of person that would be sneaky enough to invite herself to the tasting?

FallBride2010 Posted: May 27, 2009 02:15 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Posted by LadyDuda81509

we also told her that we have my aunt and uncles anniversary party as well as a christening party for our friends baby on sunday! i think shes being slick! lol

and altho it kinda bugs me that she is not paying a dime for the wedding and originally wanted the RH in her backyard! ill suck it up and invite her! after all she is going to be family soon...right!?

Honestly, I think she could have forgotten. I have a hard enough time keeping my own schedule in order, I certianly dont remember anyone elses...which may be the case.

Also, a backyard RD could be nice. My friend has LOADS of money and she is doing it in the backyard for a more laid back feel...having it catered.

KellymKuehn Posted: May 27, 2009 02:24 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

maybe she forgot...but keep an eye on her- Her 'I'm from the old school' comment would rub me the wrong way

KellymKuehn Posted: May 27, 2009 02:29 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Posted by LadyDuda81509

we also told her that we have my aunt and uncles anniversary party as well as a christening party for our friends baby on sunday! i think shes being slick! lol

and altho it kinda bugs me that she is not paying a dime for the wedding and originally wanted the RH in her backyard! ill suck it up and invite her! after all she is going to be family soon...right!?

Even though my FIL are very generous- my FMIL can be slick like that too. SHe is very emotionally needy and very easily feels as though she is being left out.

You should hear the stories about my bridal shower...
BUT in the end she is genorous and she will be my MIL so I have to take lots of deep breaths and smile-

LadyDuda81509 Posted: May 27, 2009 02:40 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

yeah i gave in and asked her if she wanted to come! she was thrilled! but actually wont be able to make it! its at 5:00 and she wont be out of work yet!

still dont know if she was being sneaky or not! haha!
oh well!

KellymKuehn Posted: May 27, 2009 02:47 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

See... it all worked out in the end..

LadyDuda81509 Posted: May 27, 2009 02:53 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

exactly!!

cavvento Posted: May 27, 2009 10:08 PM

Re: how would you iterpret this

Even though my parents are paying, I couldn't imagine not including my FIL's as much as possible. My parents encourage it as well. It might just be a passive way of her wanting to be included more. Have you included her in other aspects?