Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

One of my bridemaids is on assignment in Baghdad, Iraq!!! When she first got transfered there, she mentioned that she might not be in my wedding... But she'll try really hard to be!!!

OK, so fine.

Then she tells me she is coming, and can make it and asks me to reserve a hotel room for her and her boyfriend (Fine, I did that).

Now she is emailing me, saying that she has to pay for her flight from Kuwait to DC upfront and then will get reimbursed. But the problem is that she doesn't have a credit card there with her.

From her email it sounded as if she wanted me to either book her flight or give her my cc# so that she could pay me back later. But in all honesty, I feel VERY uncomfortable doing this... I don't even know how to reply to her email!!! She didn't ask in a direct way, but very strongly HINTED at this.

Suggestions? I mean, I don't want to cause a huge hardship and inconvenience for her, and I thought that she would come here on a military plane. But obviously, that's not the case. And while I would looove to have her be my BM on the wedding day, I also don't want either one of us to be out whatever that flight may cost, in case if Gov't decides not to reimburse her...

HELP!!!

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

Alina,

I just read this on the NW board. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it must be tough because you truly want her at your wedding. I agree with Sonicstef. When you write her back do not OFFER right away CC information or the fact that you will lay the money out. I'd let her know that if this is too difficult or expensive for her that she should let you know as soon as possible and that there will be no hard feelings. I'm sure she really wants to come, but if she is asking for you to lay out $1000+ for her flight, I think that's asking too much... IMO...

If she hasn't flat out asked you, I wouldnt' assume anything yet. Can't she get in touch with someone who can get to her CC's at home? I hope it works out, I'm sure I didn't help much.

for you!

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

Are commercial airliners flying in and out of Kuwait? I know of military personnel over there and they have military planes that fly to Europe and from there you take commercial airlines. If you feel uncomfortable giving her your CC # which I would as well, would you feel comfortable buying it for her and having it issued in her name? Your wedding is in less than month so I'm assuming she has the authorization to leave?.

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

I'm not a fan of 'fibbing' but could you tell her that your cards are either maxxed out or that you need whatever credit available as you start paying for wedding stuff?

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

perhaps you could suggest asking her boyfriend to pay for the flight upfront. you should explain that while you would love to help her out but with all the wedding expenses, you can't put anything else on your credit card. i'm sure she has other people in her life who can help her out right now. good luck!

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

See, that's the problem. I don't feel comfortable purchasing a ticket for her, because what if the gov't changes its mind and not reimburse her? then who is out of the pocket? The cheapest that orbits has as a ticket is $1,500 on British Airways.

I feel that this amount is too much for either one of us to risk losing...

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

I think agree with the other girls! Don't give her you information. Good Luck!

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

If you asked her to be a BM that means that she is someone important to you and you want to have her share in your special day. So if that fits the description, you should be ok with the possibility of loosing a couple of hundred dollars, although if your friend is a good friend she will find someway to pay you back.

I only say all this cause my maid of honor is in London. And eventhough she couldn't afford to come here for my engagement party and bridal shower I offered to pay for her because I really wanted her to be here to spend the day with me. (She didn't take me up on the offer b/c she knew that money was tight) She said she could pay me back eventually, and I told her that would be fine because all that mattered was that she was there.

JMO

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

If she has a way to contact you then I think you should suggest somehow for her to contact someone in her family to get her her CC info or have someone in her family purchase it for her. Just tell her since it's so close to the wedding you can't afford to lay out that kind of money.

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

americanpolice, its not a couple hundred, is $1,500, and possibly even more!!!

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

OK...The first question you want to ask yourself is 'How good of a friend is this girl'? Is she the type that would not pay you back? I only say this because I could not imagine not going above and beyond for any one of my bridesmaids. I do not know your relationship with her so it's hard for me to decide.

If she is a good friend, but you think that there is a chance she will not pay you back then this is what I would do:

If she has only hinted about you flying her in...play dumb. Just pretend it went right over your head. If she directly asks for you to fly her in, I would blame the wedding expenses and see what happens from there.

I hope it all works out.

Re: Huge Bridemaid Dilemna!!!!

I agree with Kelly. I wouldn't give my BMs that much money and it wouldn't really be right for them (her) to ask you for it either or even hint at it.