Hugs needed badly

I really don't get too personal sometimes , but for once I really need hugs.

A friend of mines whom I have really lost contact w/, but she's always on my mind, mother passed Friday. She was diagnosed w/ Bone Cancer at the end of December, and it just spreaded throug her body and took her from us. I feel so bad inside b/c i never got a chance to see her in the hospital.
The thing is she's been in the hospital for about three weeks, but I never got a chance to make it to the city where she was, and just when they sent her home last Wednesday, she was sent right back Thursday night, and passed Friday evening when I had planned on going to see her on Saturday. She was such a good friend of the family. It just hurst so much inside to know how someone can be taken away from you that fast.
I guess what I'm trying to say is my mother, and all three of her sisters all suffer, or have suffered at one point from breast cancer, and I;m so afraid of loosing them ESPESCIALLY my mother. I have never lost anyone close to me(other than an older cousin 46 that is who died in 03, and I'm just coping w/ that) and i don't know how to handle it. Just typing this I'm in tears. Ifeel so bad inside, and I don't know who to face her w/o falling apart.
Sorry guys very long