HUMP DAY HA-HA'S- 12/08/10

^ EFFING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!












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If you are a saleswoman of diamond jewelry and work on commission, do not ask the girl looking at a very expensive necklace when she's due. She's not pregnant, and you will lose one hell of a sale to your coworker. #LFMF
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---- POSSIBLY posting fml's (not sure abotu tfln) after my ciggy

i'm wearing lettuce under my clothes ... LOVE IT!!!

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

i'm wearing lettuce under my clothes ... LOVE IT!!!

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don't we all want to wear lettuce under our clothes?

Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
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Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
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Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, 'This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time.' FML
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Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying 'It's waiting for you.' She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying 'It's waiting for you too.' FML
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(818):

Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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(847):

He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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(704):

Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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the end

I soooooooooooooooooo made the colon cancer thing my status on fb!