Hump day ha ha's
^ yup, i did it...
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(917):Sponsored
Tell me again. As a detective, I need all the details. Also, I'm a little stoned.
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(612):
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
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(803):
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
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(661):
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
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(708):
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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(517):
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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(818):
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
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Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML
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Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML
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