Hump day ha ha's
HOW CUTE IS HE?
OMFGGGGGGGGGG I WANT ONE!!!
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Mom: Did anyone see my broom.
Dad: Why? Are you going somewhere.
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(After a heated argument between mom and sis)
Mom: You're out of control!
Sister: You made me, you should be able to control me!
Mom: Its not my fault! *I* was trying to sleep!
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(403):
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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(516):
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
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(214):
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with 'shut up' to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
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(712):
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: 'You shouldnt have stayed over.' FML
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Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, 'Mommy, may I please lie?' When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, 'I hate this ugly sweater!' FML
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Today, I spent all day passing out fliers advertising my services as a psychic. I got one call only. The caller wanted to inform me that I had mispelt the word 'psychic' on my flier. She was right. FML
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Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML
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Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
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Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML
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the end
