So, the other day I went to try on BM dresses for my girls since they're scattered all over. (Jersey, Massachusetts, Queens, Suffolk) I wanted to pick 3 or so to choose from. I narrowed them down, took pics on my cell at the salon and then sent them to my girls - I was SOOOO excited!
Later that night, I get a call from FH who was at work - 'WHY DID YOU SEND THOSE PICS TO MY SISTER??? YOU KNEW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER WEDDING DAY!!!!' (They called off her wedding back in March or April) 'NOW MY MOM IS UPSET AND EVERYONE'S CRYING'
OY! Am I being insensitive? I mean, I didn't do it on purpose - I was just excited! And it feels like I can't be excited about ANYTHING without running it by FH's family to see if it will 'upset' FSIL. I told FH that she needs to get over it already. OopS!
mdawg
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Re: I am an INSENSITIVE BEEEATCH
I know you didnt do it on purpose... but to say that she has to get over it already wasn't cool. Put yourself in her position. Would you be over it already? I think you should apologize to her and explain that you didn't do it on purpose. JMO.
Aristotelina
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oops..see below!
mdawg
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Posted by Aristotelina
Not for nothing, but why the heck was your FSIL checking her email on her wedding day???!! AND, lord knows, if it was MY wedding day, I would be so happy NOTHING would make me feel upset about anything!!
Big deal--you sent her a picture of a dress!!! Big whoop!!! You are not being insensitive AT ALL--you are just an excited bride. She should lighten up and enjoy herself--after all, its her wedding day!
it was supposed to be her wedding day...the wedding was called off.
Aristotelina
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I edited my post because I just realized it was SUPPOSED to be her wedding day but I guess it was called off.
In that case, I think that you should definitely be a little more sensitive toward your SIL. She is obviously still upset about the whole situation (and who can blame her really) and just probably needs lots of hugs and love today.
Don't become that bride.....tell her you didn't mean to send it to her and that you are totally sorry about it.
Soon2BMrsC09
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Posted by Aristotelina
Not for nothing, but why the heck was your FSIL checking her email on her wedding day???!! AND, lord knows, if it was MY wedding day, I would be so happy NOTHING would make me feel upset about anything!!
Big deal--you sent her a picture of a dress!!! Big whoop!!! You are not being insensitive AT ALL--you are just an excited bride. She should lighten up and enjoy herself--after all, its her wedding day!
i think she meant that the wedding was called off.... she was sad and this just added to it....
i think she should get over it - but i would apologize just this one time for poor judgment even tho it wasnt on purpose - but you shouldnt stifle your enjoyment because she cant put her feelings aside and be happy for you...
Mrs B to Be
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Posted by mdawg
I know you didnt do it on purpose... but to say that she has to get over it already wasn't cool. Put yourself in her position. Would you be over it already? I think you should apologize to her and explain that you didn't do it on purpose. JMO.
i agree an apology is definately necessary to clear the air....you didnt do it on purpose......but i do agree I wouldnt be over it either....i still remember days that I broke up with old B/Fs I can only imagine calling off a wedding.....definately call her or go see her and apologize =)
kgicrls
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that is a sticky situation. I understand that you are excited and wanted to share your excitement. But I also understand that she is upset on that day. I know I would be. But I also know you didn't do it on purpose and I don't think the family should be mad at you for it. It was an honest mistake, and maybe you could tell FIL's that... Hope everything works out for you
misswitty
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I guess I should've added before that I didn't KNOW which day was going to be her wedding day - she was having a destination wedding in Cancun, and It was a week long, in total. I wasn't thinking when I sent the photos on Thursday that it was THE DAY. And yeah, I was ANGRY cause FH and FMIL were ganging up on me like I caused FSIL's breakdown by sending the pics. It was a mess. I did call her to apologize and she's okay now. It's just frustrating cause everything me and FH do revolves around FSIL and I'm wondering how much longer we will continue to do that. I feel almost guilty for being excited and wanting her to feel the same for us. Oh boy, I suck!
Mrs B to Be
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Posted by misswitty
I guess I should've added before that I didn't KNOW which day was going to be her wedding day - she was having a destination wedding in Cancun, and It was a week long, in total. I wasn't thinking when I sent the photos on Thursday that it was THE DAY. And yeah, I was ANGRY cause FH and FMIL were ganging up on me like I caused FSIL's breakdown by sending the pics. It was a mess. I did call her to apologize and she's okay now. It's just frustrating cause everything me and FH do revolves around FSIL and I'm wondering how much longer we will continue to do that. I feel almost guilty for being excited and wanting her to feel the same for us. Oh boy, I suck!
ahhhhhh thats just a sucky situation....hopefully now that THE DAY has passed she'll calm down....maybe you just need to leave her out of the loop a little bit and share your excitement with the rest of your BMs
mdawg
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Posted by misswitty
I guess I should've added before that I didn't KNOW which day was going to be her wedding day - she was having a destination wedding in Cancun, and It was a week long, in total. I wasn't thinking when I sent the photos on Thursday that it was THE DAY. And yeah, I was ANGRY cause FH and FMIL were ganging up on me like I caused FSIL's breakdown by sending the pics. It was a mess. I did call her to apologize and she's okay now. It's just frustrating cause everything me and FH do revolves around FSIL and I'm wondering how much longer we will continue to do that. I feel almost guilty for being excited and wanting her to feel the same for us. Oh boy, I suck!
'
i'm sure now that 'the day' has passed that it will get better as opposed to more stressful. As the days go by, i'm sure she will begin to move on. Youre in a tough situation right now, and i see how its preventing you from taking full pleasure and excitement in a time thats supposed to be one of the most exciting times in your life... so maybe you could refrain from talking about it with her until she's ready to talk about it with you. Im sure your bridesmaids are thrilled for you...maybe your FSIL just needs a little more time. I'm glad you called her and apologized...that was the right thing to do.
misswitty
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Posted by Mrs B to Be
Posted by misswitty
I guess I should've added before that I didn't KNOW which day was going to be her wedding day - she was having a destination wedding in Cancun, and It was a week long, in total. I wasn't thinking when I sent the photos on Thursday that it was THE DAY. And yeah, I was ANGRY cause FH and FMIL were ganging up on me like I caused FSIL's breakdown by sending the pics. It was a mess. I did call her to apologize and she's okay now. It's just frustrating cause everything me and FH do revolves around FSIL and I'm wondering how much longer we will continue to do that. I feel almost guilty for being excited and wanting her to feel the same for us. Oh boy, I suck!
ahhhhhh thats just a sucky situation....hopefully now that THE DAY has passed she'll calm down....maybe you just need to leave her out of the loop a little bit and share your excitement with the rest of your BMs
I think that's a better idea. That makes so much sense. THANK YOU!!!!!
cedesnyc
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eeeehhhhhh
Hey.....I know you're excited and all and were all on the same boat....I go off and talk about my wedding all day and i sometimes catch myself....its the excitement...you know...
Anyhow...i don't know how it feels to have a wedding called off and i'm pretty sure its devastating.... You made a mistake it was unintentional...the text wasn't meant for her...just apologize...
don't make anything out of it...let it go b/c regardless she is you fsil. Talk to her...girl to girl...and it'll be alright...hopefully she'll understand
Jayla127
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Posted by mdawg
I know you didnt do it on purpose... but to say that she has to get over it already wasn't cool. Put yourself in her position. Would you be over it already? I think you should apologize to her and explain that you didn't do it on purpose. JMO.
I totally agree with you. If you ever broke up with someone that is a hurtful feeling. But, she was about to get married. So the pain is 10x greater. That was an insensitive remark that you made and you should give her an apology. JMO!!
misswitty
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Posted by Jayla127
Posted by mdawg
I know you didnt do it on purpose... but to say that she has to get over it already wasn't cool. Put yourself in her position. Would you be over it already? I think you should apologize to her and explain that you didn't do it on purpose. JMO.
I totally agree with you. If you ever broke up with someone that is a hurtful feeling. But, she was about to get married. So the pain is 10x greater. That was an insensitive remark that you made and you should give her an apology. JMO!!
OH G*D! I never to HER to get over it!!! YIKES! I would never! I said that during my argument with FH about the whole situation. I hope that's not what everyone thinks! YIKES! I would be the WORST person in the WORLD if I said that to her! Sorry if you thought that!!!!!
melcc83
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if she is in your bridal party then I think you had every reason to send it to her. Yes what happend to her is terrible and sad, but its not your fault and its your wedding day. I can understand her being upset but they need to understand this is your time
misswitty
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Posted by melcc83
if she is in your bridal party then I think you had every reason to send it to her. Yes what happend to her is terrible and sad, but its not your fault and its your wedding day. I can understand her being upset but they need to understand this is your time
You have FM
kbergen75
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Being that you did not know that it was the actual day her wedding was supposed to be I don't think your insensitive. It was a rough day for your FSIL and a lot of things probably bothered her that day and it just so happened that your text did it, if it wasn't that it would've been something and someone else. I've learned not to share my excitement with some people for various reasons and maybe you should back off of the wedding stuff with her, and share it with people who will truly be excited with you!
longislandlibrarian
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it's just a rough time for your FSIL I am sure she will be okw ith in the long run. You didn't do it on purpose.. you didn't even know it was the wedding day!!!!!!!!!
Camroy
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It happened. You apologized and as time passes her wounds will heal. I would speak to your FH and ask that in the future he communicate with you rather than calling and, for lack of a better word, attacking you. You probably wouldn't be as stressed over this if he called and asked if you realized it was her wedding day. Then explained your text upset her. Communicate with him but be sensitive to his sisters feelings. There is still plenty of time before your day and I'm sure things will get better.
