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I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
oh i'm so sorry, can definitely see how that would put you in an unconfortable situation. is there any way you can talk to him again and ask that he focus his homily on you and you love for each other? it's very nice that you have a family friend who is marrying you, since it makes it that much more special, but that's a really tough situation to be in. and no matter how subtle, it could be a little uncomfortable for the your guest too right, once they 'piece it together'. If it were me, i would have another conversation with him and have your FH present so you have support too. keep it light, but show your concern, and maybe just put it back on the fact that you want your guests to be in an akward position to hear his subtleties (sp?) about 'unnatual' things.
dont worry, it will all work out and you will have a wonderful day! hope this helps!![]()
dont worry, it will all work out and you will have a wonderful day! hope this helps!
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
I would talk to someone else about performing the ceremony. Bottom line - you obviously dont feel comfortable with him performing your ceremony and you dont want anything there on your day that will make you feel ill at ease.
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
I just spoke to my mom about it, she was awesome, very calm cool and collected (unlike me). She said that she or my father will speak with him, since they are close, and tell him that the wedding is about my FH and I not about the people attending, and if he does not feel comfortable with that, then it would probably be best that he didn't perform the ceremony. She said I shouldn't feel badly and that she will take care of it a not to worry. I hope so!![]()
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
This sounds like it is a little complicated. On the one hand, this is your wedding day and it should be about your marriage and future and completely focused on you and fh. On the other hand, you are asking a priest who has very specific beliefs to make himself comfortable with something that goes against his belief system. I don't know if this is going to feel comfortable for either one of you because he wants to exploit your ceremony to proselytize to your guests. Perhaps a catholic ceremony isn't the best way to go? I don't really know if all priests are this concerned about birth control methods or pre-marital sex but I would try to find another officiant who really connects with your own beliefs and you connect with hers or his. Good luck!
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
i'm still ![]()
about 'not a time to pontificate'.....oh man....idk, i would let your parents handle it and take it from there. If he's not accomodating, you need to hire someone else. Isn't this insane? We should not have to worry about these things!! Good luck hun, i'm sure everything will work out fine. ![]()
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
i think you should speak to him and tell him you prefer that he speak of your love and about a loving marriage because you want THAT to be the focus of the ceremony.
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
Posted by daniebc16
I just spoke to my mom about it, she was awesome, very calm cool and collected (unlike me). She said that she or my father will speak with him, since they are close, and tell him that the wedding is about my FH and I not about the people attending, and if he does not feel comfortable with that, then it would probably be best that he didn't perform the ceremony. She said I shouldn't feel badly and that she will take care of it a not to worry. I hope so!![]()
Your Mom sounds awesome! I'm glad she'll be able to speak to the priest.
...as a side note my parents used the Rhythm method and have 7 kids (only one was planned) - the only thing rhythm did for them was prove my Mom is regular - all of our birthdays are between the 2nd and the 10th. My father says he's pretty sure Rhythm isn't really BC, but instead is a method to produce more Catholics
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
Glad to hear your mom is going to talk to him! Keep us posted on how it goes!
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
Posted by Nina_m74
Posted by daniebc16
I just spoke to my mom about it, she was awesome, very calm cool and collected (unlike me). She said that she or my father will speak with him, since they are close, and tell him that the wedding is about my FH and I not about the people attending, and if he does not feel comfortable with that, then it would probably be best that he didn't perform the ceremony. She said I shouldn't feel badly and that she will take care of it a not to worry. I hope so!![]()
Your Mom sounds awesome! I'm glad she'll be able to speak to the priest.
...as a side note my parents used the Rhythm method and have 7 kids (only one was planned) - the only thing rhythm did for them was prove my Mom is regular - all of our birthdays are between the 2nd and the 10th. My father says he's pretty sure Rhythm isn't really BC, but instead is a method to produce more Catholics![]()
We're not Catholics but both my sister and I were conceived while my parents were using the rhythm method
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
I really hope that your Dad will be able to speak with him and redirect him so that you and FH are comfortable with the ceremony, but I have a feeling that he is going to say whatever he chooses. Its not fair that he's trying to use you and FH as an example and it just doesn't seem appropriate. I would REALLY consider looking for another officiant. Good luck!
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
I would tell him that you do not want this in your ceremony - if he cannot do that then look for someone else.
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
Posted by daniebc16
I just spoke to my mom about it, she was awesome, very calm cool and collected (unlike me). She said that she or my father will speak with him, since they are close, and tell him that the wedding is about my FH and I not about the people attending, and if he does not feel comfortable with that, then it would probably be best that he didn't perform the ceremony. She said I shouldn't feel badly and that she will take care of it a not to worry. I hope so!![]()
Definitely let your parents handle it and do not feel bad about it. Enjoy your wedding!
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Re: I am going to loose it...(kinda long)
It sounds horrible, but get someone else to perform the ceremony. A few years ago, one of my best friends got married by a justice of the peace, and specifically asked him NOT to mention religion during the ceremony, as her husband-to-be had a very unhappy childhood as a Jehovah's Witness and was sensitive to any mentions of religion. The justice of the peace argued a little but then said 'no problem.' What did he do? He started talking about God's love in the middle of the ceremony, while shooting a triumphant look at my friends. Those of us who knew about it had our mouths hanging open. He nearly ruined their wedding ceremony. Luckily they are so in love nothing could have totally ruined their wedding. But it was awful. And then there was my goddaughter's christening. She has a traditional Irish name with the correct Irish pronunciation. The priest didn't like the name, even though he himself was Irish. He suggested a saint's name. My best friend, the mother, said 'no' and kept the name she chose. During the christening, he 'forgot' the baby's name, and when we whispered it to him, he deliberately mispronounced it with a nasty grin. Besides the fact that it had been discussed shortly before, this man was raised in Ireland where it's a common name, so he undoubtedly did it on purpose. ![]()
