I am not in good spirits

I'm sure it's just the stress of everything coming up so soon, but I have been in a really BAD mood. Everything FH does has been pissing me off. He has invited 2 extra people to the wedding and it's not fair. His mother invited like 45 more people than my family, and my parents are paying for the reception. I let him get away with even inviting more friends than I did, and I had many an akward conversation with people telling them how I wish I was able to invite them, but we were really trying to stick to a certain number. Then in the last two weeks, FH has invited 2 of his friends. We have already met our minimum and I don't want my parents to pay for his stupid friends that he's obvioulsy not friendly enough with that they were on our original list. I have some people that I wanted to invite, that I'm much more friendly with than the two he just invited, who wound up on the B-list and I never got to invite them because we haven't had that many nos. I feel like he and his family do whatever they want and I feel like me and my parens are being taken advantage of.

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Posted by Ronkonkomonga

Ooooh that would so piss me off. Maybe you could get his family to take care of the added expense.

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I agree...is it too late to ask him and his family to pay for the # of guests that are coming that are above an allowed #?

I am in such a similar position and feel your frustration!!!!! My parents wanted a semi-small wedding (about 200 people). They want it to be kept to an intimate number to make it more special and meaningful. WELL, b/w my parents and myself, we are inviting 100 guests. MY FH ALONE IS INVITING 120!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine? He says he HAS to invite each and every person on the list - it's not even about the money. Yes, he has offered and is contributing to the wedding budget, but STILL - it's wrong that his side is inviting SO many more than mine!

I'm sorry.That sucks. Have you told him how you feel?

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Can you imagine? He says he HAS to invite each and every person on the list - it's not even about the money. Yes, he has offered and is contributing to the wedding budget, but STILL - it's wrong that his side is inviting SO many more than mine!

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That's what I got from FH and FIL, all of these people HAD to be invited. They have offered to pay for anything over 200, that's what my parents agreed to pay for, but that's not the point. Between my family and my friends I would say there are about 80 guests. FH's family and friends is 120 guests. I should have put my foot down earlier. I'm still pissed that FH invited extra people. The first guy he spoke to me about first and I finally gave in, but he wound up responding no. The second guy he just invited and then told me afterwards. I was fuming!

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Posted by tourist


I'm sorry.That sucks. Have you told him how you feel?

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He knows exactly how I feel. He thinks that if he offers to pay for a couple of people than that makes it ok, but the bottom line is, even if we go over the number of guests that my parents said they would pay for, they will never take money from FH or his parents. It's not the way they are, and FH knows that. Which is why I feel like we're being taken advantage of.

I didn't like the idea of the FH and his fam inviting more people at all. His mom has a lot of 'close friends' that 'had to be invited.'

But I won't have it. I feel like if the sides are really not balanced, it would make me feel like I was at a party for them, not at my wedding.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way... I would express your feelings to your fh and tell him that while his offer to pay for the extra guests is generous, that there is no way your parents would accept his money and you'd rather not put them in that position.

I would put all of their 'extra' guests in the worst possible seating areas too. I am a little spiteful sometimes though...

This does suck. The only thing you can do at this point though is put your foot down and tell FH and tell HIM to tell his parents - NO MORE. Period. Paying or not paying. Tell them the Crescent doesn't hold anymore.

Did your FH hand over the invite to his 'extra' friends last minute? Did he at least the sane mind to know to get them calligraphed??

That's why we're not ordering ANY extra invites than we need to...

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Posted by marymoon

She's been married for awhile now. Weird bump.

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I was wondering the same thing! I FMed her too!

Odd

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Posted by Ronkonkomonga

Ooooh that would so piss me off. Maybe you could get his family to take care of the added expense.

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it may seem crass to some, but that is exactly what I am doing. FH and I are paying for the whole thing as it stands, and we have a budget and a limit. If our parents want to go over, they can help us out and pay for the friends. If they don't want to put out the expense for THEIR invitees, then you shouldn't be expected to either.

I sympathise with you!
I told FMIL to invite 60pp, she invited 60 COUPLES!!!! Belive this!

Apparently, they are all family that HAVE to be invited!!!

URG!!!