I am really down and lost :(

I cant believe you girls havent told me to shut up already because all it seems like I have been doing for the past couple of months is venting and complaining and talking about hurt but you have always been there for me.

So, I need to yet again. My sister and I have been dealing with my moms grief for so long and havent really focused on our own. Now I feel like I am coming to a point where everything is hitting me between the eyes. I am centering on my own grief and loss of him and I cant believe hes really gone. In the beginning it felt like it would go away, that if we just dealt with what was given to us at that moment, he was gonna come back down the line. Its been almost 4 months and its hitting me that he is obviously not coming back. I cant believe it.

I still try not to talk to my mom about my feelings cause it just makes her more upset and to be honest, she doesnt have the stength to realize anyone else's pain right now but her own..which is totally understandable.

Once again, I just needed to vent this. I am just feeling so down and lost lately. Did any of you ladies ever have a loss where you thought it was so surreal and then it hit you between the eyes? This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.

I was like that when my cousin died. It was very sudden & unexpected. I was devestated when I heard and through the entire funeral but then went back to my regular life. Then about 2 or 3 months later I had the feeling I was hit in the chest the pain and greif were so overwhelming. I know it's hard to believe, it will get a little easier. You all just need some time.

I know its hard but I am sure in time this will get better, Noreen

Take a day for yourself. You mom needs time to heal and you need a break from dealing with your own loss and trying to help mom. Do something nice for yourself today!

I'm so sorry

Loss like this is never easy. It's also natural to slip into 'auto pilot' for a while at first and then suddenly have it hit you at a later time.

The best you can do is be true to yourself and your feelings. Let yourself be sad, angry, scared, it's all part of the grieving process. If you are really having trouble, maybe you can see a counselor. If not, get a blank notebook and start keeping a journal. Write your feelings down. There's something SO therapeutic in writing. It's like it magically transfers the feelings from your heart and out of your system. Maybe even write a letter to him, telling him how you feel, how you miss him, or that you're angry.

See if you can talk to your sister about it. Sharing your feelings will also help so much. I can understand how you don't want to talk to your mom right now. I have to agree with you on that one.

Hang in there! This is all normal for what you're dealing with. I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time.

FM me if you need you!

Karen

Noreen

It is about time you have a chance to deal with this. It is great that you can be there for your mom but you need to help yourself as well. As we have talked about before it never gets easier you just readjust yourself and learn how to live with the new situation you are in (at least that is how I feel)

And don't be so concerned with how long it has been. Nobody said there is a right or wrong amount of time to be allowed to grieve th loss of someone you loved. And everyone is different. I don't think I will ever get over losing my mom. I will grieve that loss forever. You will have good and bad days and that is ok. If you can't talk to your mom try and find strenght in your sister or maybe you should go to talk to a 'professional' No matter what you decide to do just make sure you take time for yourself.

FM me if you need to.