I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

I'm sorry girls, but I really have to vent! I am very upset right now. Today is my b-day and my husband and I were supossed to go out to dinner and have a quite romantic night at home. It's my first b-day married. He just called to tell me that he has to go into work! I am furious! I hate this job, I can't take it anymore, I feel like it controls our lives! I'm trying not to be mad at him, but I asked him awhile ago to request this night and to make sure this didn't happen and he didn't do that until today and he got screwed which means I get screwed!
I really feel like I can't take this job anymore. He works midnights and it's really taking a toll on our marriage. We've only been married 3 months. I sleep alone every night and whenever my friends do things w/their husbands/boyfriends, I go by myself! This is not what I got married for.
I don't know what to do.

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

***HUGS*** what you need to do is hang in there and call a friend to take you out for your birthday...

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

Is your DH up for a career change?

Hang in there!!! MY dh used to work nights and i HATED it...i would stay up all night waiting for him and then be DEAD tired at work the next day!!!

but eventually he moved up and we didnt have to worry about that anymore..

Try to have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

Just keep saying to yourself 'Out in 20, Out in 20!' That's what gets me through a lot of overtime. I know how you feel, and I'm sorry.

Happy birthday though!

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

I'm sorry Sha-but try to enjoy your birthday anyway

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

I'm sorry too ... but Happy Birthday!

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

No, he's not thinking of changing careers. I just feel very frustrated. Theses hours started after we got back from out honeymoon so I feel like we haven't had anytime to be all lovey-dovey and newlyweds. We never see each other. I knoe he feeld bad, but I hate it. My dad was a detective, but it's different when it's your husband. I feel like a baby about it, but I can't help it! I'm really miserable and I shouldn't feel like this 3 months into a marriage! When we do get to spend a few hours together, it's almost like I start to resent him b/c I knpw he's going to leave and go to work soon. Is this crazy or what? I am very proud of my husband and what he does, but what I wouldn't give to have a marriage where we get home from work at night, eat dinner together, get to snuggle and watch tv and go to bed together. Is that asking a lot? I don't thin so.
Thanks for all your advice. It helps. He did just call and say we can still go to dinner but that he has to go right to work after that.

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

since our honeymoon, I changed jobs and now work 10 hours a day - at night I am so beat, we haven't had the 'lovey dovey' newleywed phase either, plus I'm on call a lot, so anytime my pager goes off there is a chance I will have to drop what I'm doing and gop in, including making my DH have to go to a christmas party alone - my DH hasn't said too much but I know he's not happy. Just wanted to give a flip - side - I do agree that NYPD blows, I have a lot of friends in who go through this. hang in there.

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

Oh Sha, listen dont stress out I made you a birthday cake

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

Tammy, Patrick works a flex schedule, but if he didn't, he'd probably go to midnights. He LOVES them. I don't care for them, but they are far better than 4 - 12's, in my opinion. At least w/midnights we got to spend time together before he left for work, and in the summer we would go to the beach as soon as he got home (He'd sleep,I'd read). With 4 - 12's he was gone before I got home from work, and home when I was sleeping. That s u c k e d.

What tours does your dh do?

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

HAPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

I'm so sorry! Happy Birthday

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

jennrenee- right now he does all different ones b/c he gets to make his own tours, that will change soon!! usually he leaves at 9 and gets home around 8pm
he has a big commute thats why

however, whenever the captain list comes out
he said his hrs are going to change big time!! and I that I wont like it, no more making your own tours
he said he will have to do doubles, lose his weekends off..... etc........


makes me so mad that they give you a promotion and yet its like a DEMOTION in terms of your perks!! I mean, as a LT he gets weekends off and makes his own schedule, become promoted to captain and your bottom of the barrel again for a while! thanks for letting me vent

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

SHA, sorry to hear your day isn't going the way you wanted it to.

Happy birthday, anyway!!

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

thank you all for your b-day wishes! we did go out to dinner anyway and then he went to work. thanks for letting me vent, i appreciate it!

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

I hear ya girl. You know how many Christmases/July 4s/Thanksgivings/Birthdays we have not celebrated together because of his schedule? He works midnights - which I DESPISE because I hate being alone at night...but I do get to spend time with him before he goes in to work.
I used to have a lot of trouble dealing with his schedule but then his mother (also married to a cop) sat me down one day and said 'This is how it's going to be for the rest of his career, which is another 10 years. You have got to be able to accept his hours if you're going to be married to him. Me and his father had huge blowouts over it while he was on the job until I realized that I was basically powerless. They have to go when they're called.'
That was a bit of a wakeup call. We get around it by basically celebrating whatever the occasion is a little bit later than the actual date. But I can totally empathize with your frustration!

Re: I am so pis$ed! I hate NYPD

thanks girls!!!