I am tired of this ...

I feellike I have been on a diet since I was 5 and I know that FI would be so happy if I wore a bikini when we are in Hawaii. I would love to look good for myself, but even more I would love to look good for him as a special wedding gift ...

I doubt I can lose 30 lbs by Nov, but I would be happy with 20... I just want to look good for him

30 lbs would be hard, but I think 20 lbs is definately a reachable goal. First of all, you have to not set yourself up for failure by thinking postively. Whether you lose the weight or not, your new DH will love you for who you are, not how you look in a bikini. If you look around when you're at the beach, I doubt you'll see a ton of women with perfect bodies!!!!

So get to work RIGHT NOW and you can lose the weight! All you have to do is eat right and exercise your tush off, and you can meet your goal. Don't slack though except for one day a week. You need at least one cheat day to keep yourself sane. Find something to keep you motivated, like a success story from a fitness magazine, or a new bikini that you keep someplace where you can see it all the time to remind you.

It will be hard to get started on your weight loss, but once you get over that initial hump, it'll be much easier. Just remember that!
Good luck!!!

Good girl! Be sure that you're really trying hard at the gym, not just going through the motions. The harder you work out, the faster you will lose weight. And be sure to eat something soon after you work out, something with protein and some complex carbs.
Keep up the good work!