I can't be tough

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:43 AM

I can't be tough

I'm really nervous! I picked out a dress that I want my bridesmaids to wear. (I'm having 8 girls and two kids.)
Two of my bridesmaids have tried it on and it looked awesome on them...I'm going on Sunday with the rest of the crew and I am soo nervous that everyone else won't like it.
I can't be tough and say: 'THIS IS IT'
But in my heart that's the one I really want.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What if they don't like it. Teach me to be tough!!!

KerrC Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:47 AM

Re: I can't be tough

don't stress about it. Most bridesmaids know that the dress you pick is the dress they will wear. Some don't even think they have a choice.

HearzBellz Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:48 AM

Re: I can't be tough

Instead of being a 'toughie' about it, just guilt them into it

seriously, I know a lot of girls have a problem with this, but as long as it is a reasonable dress for their body styles they should comply. It's your wedding, not the senior prom.... it's your vision, not theirs.

Betty Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:53 AM

Re: I can't be tough

I wouldn't worry too much. I'm sure they just want to make you happy and will love it no matter what (even if they don't really love it)

xjulietx Posted: Oct 31, 2003 10:04 AM

Re: I can't be tough

I wanted to be nice to my bridesmaids and let them have a say in choosing but they have expressed that they want me to chose.

NYCMeghan Posted: Oct 31, 2003 10:06 AM

Re: I can't be tough

Part of why I am gifting my BMs the dress is that I don't want to hear any opinions and my feeling is that they can have all the opinions they want but ultimately they're not paying for it so they can't b1tch about it.

But I know how you feel about not being a 'toughie'. I'm exactly the same way!

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Oct 31, 2003 10:07 AM

Re: I can't be tough

i love it. should i post a pic? i'm not sure I know how to do that though

btrflygrl Posted: Oct 31, 2003 10:10 AM

Re: I can't be tough

If you really love it, they will wear it for your day. Don't worry about it!

Kra5hnburn Posted: Oct 31, 2003 10:12 AM

Re: I can't be tough

Don't worry about it. If they know that you really like it, they shouldn't have a problem with it. I know everyone wants to be nice to their girls and let them have a say, but if you see something and you think to yourself, 'Oh, my gosh! That's it!', well then, that's it! It is your wedding. If you're afraid they aren't gonna be happy about not making the choice, give them other choices--like they can pick their own shoes, bag and hairstyle--that way they still feel like it's part of their style.

IrishTracy Posted: Oct 31, 2003 10:13 AM

Re: I can't be tough

Put the link on so we can see. I can post it for you if you want! I'd love to see it!

KarenB Posted: Oct 31, 2003 12:18 PM

Re: I can't be tough

I agree w/NYC Meghan. I don't think it is fair to ask someone to spend money on something they don't like. If you want total control, in my opinion, you should pay for all the dresses. I am having a MOH and not a bridal party beyond that. The list got too big and I didn't want a lot of BMs. My sister and I will pick out the dress together. If we both don't love it, then it isn't the right dress.

On the other hand, if you were in their wedding parties and they picked the dress, by all means then don't worry about it.

sammi102 Posted: Oct 31, 2003 12:32 PM

Re: I can't be tough

Don't worry. They're your bridesmaids for a reason and I'm sure they will all know that this is the dress that you want them to wear. Just wait and see what heappnes. I'm sure they will all love it!

eroxgirl Posted: Oct 31, 2003 12:36 PM

Re: I can't be tough

I don't think it is fair to ask someone to spend money on something they don't like.

I disagree (as far as bridesmaid gowns go). When someone is asked to be a bridesmaid, it is generally understood that the girls pay for the dress and sometimes you don't like what you wind up with. You can't please everyone. Your wedding isn't about your bridesmaids, its about you. I've had to buy gowns I didn't like in colors I didn't like but it wasn't my wedding, so I didn't call the shots.

But I did threaten to put one of my BMs in a paper bag for making me wear yellow...

dolphin Posted: Oct 31, 2003 12:50 PM

Re: I can't be tough

I went on two separate occasions to look at dresses with individual bridesmaids. Then we all went together. I had the people pull out the dresses that I had liked onthe previous trips and then told all the girls to look through the racks taking whatever they wanted but I described a certain style that I liked and that would go with my dress. So they all pulled other dresses and in the end, since I had already been through the rack prior ot all my girls getting there(just like you) and the bridesmaid I was with tried them on, the final two dresses 'they' narrowed it down to were two of the ones we had previously picked out and then I mentioned how dress A went better with my dress so that was the way we went and I believe all of the girls were happy. Because 'they' narrowed it down!
good luck

KarenB Posted: Oct 31, 2003 12:56 PM

Re: I can't be tough

Dolphin I think you handled it perfectly! If I would of went the route w/BMs I would of done something like that. I think everyone should be happy. JMO.

Mich1108 Posted: Oct 31, 2003 02:09 PM

Re: I can't be tough

This is why they say not to bring your whole bridal party with you when you go dress shopping - too many opinions! I think there's a big difference between a bridesmaid just not liking the dress or color and making her wear something that is totally unflattering to her body type.

I've been in 9 weddings & even though I wore whatever the brides wanted me to wear in their weddings with no comments, with my own wedding, I felt bad about making someone wear something that they would not be comfortable in. My gown is strapless & I found the most beautiful, perfect strapless bridesmaid dresses in the exact shade of red that I wanted. BUT my FSIL is very heavy & although she said she would wear anything I picked out, I knew she would be miserable in strapless & I just could not, in good conscience, make her wear it. I think that as long as you picked a style that looks good on all or the majority of the bodies, then that's all you need to do.