Tomorrow I'm goin BM dress shopping with my mom, MOH and 2 of my BMs. I was told by one of my BM that she feels that we need to get the dresses from Davids simply because they are a reputable chain and that they will take all responsibility for any dress problems- especially for those girls who love out of state. The hems and alterations will be the same and if the dress is lost in shipping Davids will replace it. She seems to think that if BMs all take their dresses to their own seamstress- everyones dress is going to come out looking different. I don't like any of Davids dresses for BM and really wasn't considering them at all. I have my list of dresses that i plan to check out tomorrow with them. She also told me that because my MOH is the biggest girl we need to let HER pick the BM dress and they will follow accordingly because she needs to be happy and comfortable in her dress above everyone else. I was told i'm allowed to pick the color and the length. I don't want to sound like bridezilla- but it is my wedding and i think i'm allowed to pick their dress. I do want it to look good on all of them but at the same time i want to like the dress that they are going to be wearing! Does my friend have some validity to her point? I know she's a little nit- picky when it comes to detail but i'm just a bit appalled. Sorry to rant but what do you think???
coldasice217
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
I think your friend is entitled to her opinion, but she could have thought of a more tactful way to voice her concerns, if at all.
That being said...you pick the dress. It's your day, your choice. I picked the dress out and told the girls that was it. Luckily for me they all seemed pretty indifferent, and when we tried it on it looked good on everyone. One of my BMs is bigger, and she couldn't try on the sample...but she never would have thought to make a stink over it, she just said she couldn't come out of the room with it on because it only went half up, but she really liked color on her and liked it on everyone else so that she could tell in the proper size it would be fine.
If anyone should voice an opinion, it should be the bigger girl...not a smaller one victimizing her on her behalf.
AugustBridein09
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
I agree that the girls need to be comfortable but I also think YOU are the bride and you need to pick where you buy and what you buy. JMO.
fancyface1955
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
Posted by coldasice217
I think your friend is entitled to her opinion, but she could have thought of a more tactful way to voice her concerns, if at all.
That being said...you pick the dress. It's your day, your choice. I picked the dress out and told the girls that was it. Luckily for me they all seemed pretty indifferent, and when we tried it on it looked good on everyone. One of my BMs is bigger, and she couldn't try on the sample...but she never would have thought to make a stink over it, she just said she couldn't come out of the room with it on because it only went half up, but she really liked color on her and liked it on everyone else so that she could tell in the proper size it would be fine.
If anyone should voice an opinion, it should be the bigger girl...not a smaller one victimizing her on her behalf.
The bigger girl has voiced her opinion the last time we went shopping. She chooses to be stubrn all around (probably on purpose) and not like anything that everyone else likes. I call her my biotch of honor... and she's my sister!!!!
JamDancer
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
yea she shouldn't have been so blatant. I had the ultimate decision but I wanted them to love it too and seriously considered their opinions. Luckily for me the dress I loved won their popular vote too!
And I am not a fan of DB either personally. My girls will be taking theirs in for alterations separately although I am ordering them through the same store (they have a form right online for this particular shop for OOT BMs) but I am not worried about it. Unless the seamstress is a moron and chops up the dress I really don't see it looking different other than obviously different body sizes and shapes.
gina409
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
ur friend has every right to voice her opnion...
that being said u have every right to thank her nicely and say its my wedding i want to get these dresses...its not bridezilla of u..pick what u want from where u want..do not settle for the comfort of someone else.....ive been in weddings where the bm dress was like a wedding dress...cost me a whole ot of dough but bottom line it was her wedding her choice..dont forget its ur day
hth
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
sounds like your BM is looking to run the show here... i agree that you should pick the dress that looks best on the 'oddest' shaped person... for me, thats my MOH, my 4 ft nothing cousin with the bangin booty and boobs to match... i told her to get whatever looked best on her BUTTTT the dress she liked at davids is one that i felt ehhhhhh about... so i told her we're going to keep looking for the same style dress ... it should be compromise between you and your BM's... not 1 telling you what you're going to do...
fancyface1955
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
Thank you!!!
I'm not tryin to say 'I told you so' but a lot of people- my mother included- is making me out to be the bad guy and thinks i'm a bridezilla!!! My mom took sides with my sis the last time we looked at dresses. she told me that I had to let my sister choose what she wanted. Granted the dress wasn't what i had in mind. I have no problem bending a bit to reach an agreement, but I pisses me off that she aint budging at all to meet me. I want them all to look good and be happy with the dress but i want to like it too.
MLAngelo
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
I think its your call not hers, especially about the place. Many people would argue the Davids points. Besides even there you really want to order them all at the same time from the same store.
Good luck tomorrow. I am meeting 5 of my 6 BMs tomorrow for dress shopping as well. It should be interesting.
Sweeteey51
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
You get the dress from where you want to get it.
Second i think she has a point in letting the biggest girl not pick but you should go by what looks good on her. YOU pick the dress you think looks the best on her and let the others follow. But dont do davids just cuz she wants you too thats crazy.
beram63
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
frankly, she sounds a little pushy.
thank her for all the good advice, and tell her that you'll take her ideas under consideration. it sounds like you prob want to be sensitive to your MOH, but that's between you and her. ultimately, you pick the dress.
as far as the david's bridal thing, that doesn't hold water at all bc all the dresses will still be altered by different seamstresses. my girls are all over the eastern seaboard and we're ordering jim hjelms. i'm ordering all of them from the bridal shop where i got my gown, and they're going to have them altered by someone local to them.
ETA: my girls are also wearing different dresses in the same color with the same a-line silhouette, so that's how we're dealing with different body types. i'm confident it'll look beautiful. uniformity isn't as necessary as it used to be. in fact, one bridal salon person told me it's 'passe.'
Ann 52409
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
It ok if thats what she feels but honestly thats just her opinion, A lot of people hate Davids bridesmaids dresses because they are made very cheap. ETA: I was in a wedding last summer with the davids bridal bm dress and THREE dresses came in with the zippers already pulled or not working. Most dress makers will take care of the dress if something happened. My Jim Hjelm BM dress came in with something wrong and they took care of the whole thing no questions asked.
That being said she can have an opinion but its your wedding and I think you should choose the dress just respecting their budget and what they are comfortable with.
elysemichelle
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
its def your opinion. Their opinions are good, but its YOUR wedding not hers!!!!!!!!! dont let it become her wedding. Opinions are good but dont let them complicate things more! I have bridesmaids that are size 0-size 24!!! im inthe same situation, so i took like 15 dresses nd made them try them all on (dresses of every style) the onethat looked the best i chose.
dutchessev
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
Your friend is just trying to be helpful but you need to do what you want. You pick the dresses you want. If you go with what your friend says you wouldn't be happy. You can let your MOH choose her dress IF YOU WANT because her dress can be different.
Whatever you decide to do just make sure your happy with the decision.
Good Luck
HappyBride22
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
I have a 10 girl bridal party, my theory with everything is, 'I'll hear all of your opinons but it doesnt mean Im going to follow your opinion'.
KittyGags
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
How about looking there to appease her? I didn't like any of their stuff online and we ended up finding one my MOH loves! So thats the one (I only have a MOH).
I can understand her concern but being that its your wedding you're 100% entitled to nixing a dress that you don't like.
fancyface1955
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
UPDATE
Well the trip wasn't too bad. My MOH was so dead against satin and wanted chiffon because she thought it would look better on her. needless to say it looked worse and made the other girls look pregnant. there was 1 dress at davids the other girls liked but MOH wasn't sure about. we went to a second place and tried on some other dresses and found 2 potential A-line satin dresses. I was kind of annoyed becuase the sales people did nothing to help us and there were a couple of dresses i really wanted them to try on. I went through the dresses myself and of course the numbers on the tags didn't match up and the dress i really liked the store didn't have. At that point everyone was tired and no one cared about the dresses i wanted them to try on. The dresses the girls liked- i liked too, but i still like this other one that they didn't get to try on and of course i'm not gonna be able to get them all together again.
Mrs B to Be
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Re: I can't even choose my own BM dress!!- Rant
they dont all need to get together at the same time.....go back with your MOH and if it works out maybe you can take the rest in 2 shifts??? or dont make them try it on at all........i'm sorry but the decision is up to you......your MOH has input, but not the final word
