I don't 'Freak out' too often but...

last night I couldn't sleep. I suddently had so much anxiety and stress over $$ that I couldn't sleep. FH isn't keeping up his end of the bargain. I pay the mortgage and bills and he is supposed to pay for his car lease, insurance, cell phone and the wedding. He has not been putting money in the wedding account religiously like we had planned. in fact, I found out the wedding account had been closed because it was at a ZERO BALANCE!!! apparently he has not put in $$ since the beginning of december. He is just not taking it seriously. I don't think he gets the concept that if this doesn't get paid we can't get married. he assured me he would take care of it and I even asked him to look into a loan so that I could finish planning because he is really holding me up. he assures me time and time again that he'll take care of it but...well...unfortunately he hasn't been reliable thus far so how can I trust him with something this important. I'm so sick of nagging him til i'm blue in the face. I'm sick of him yessing me to death and nothing getting done. I'm stressed and with all my financial obligations I shouldn't have to squeeze $ out of my own tight budget for save the dates and my dress.

ETA: please don't quote me...I'll prob take this down but I needed to vent and i know some of u girls know just where i'm coming from.

Do you have dreams about your teeth falling out

Seriously, I do ALL of the time. Even before wedding planning. I took a psyhcology of dreams class once and supposedly when you have dreams about your teeth falling out it means that you have financial issues on your mind

Sorry, this may not be relevant and/or the right time to be making jokes but I just wanted to let you know your not alone

i have had the teeth falling out dream in the past but not in a while. don't worry about joking...i could use a change of mood.

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

i have had the teeth falling out dream in the past but not in a while. don't worry about joking...i could use a change of mood.

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Well then I'm glad I could be of some help

I recommend sitting him down and CALMLY explaining your financial situation to him. You should also have exact figures written out and you should show them to him while calmly explaining the situation and letting him know of the dealines and severity of the situation. I think that actually showing him the item you want to buy, it's price and anything else that you need to prove to him how serious this is - will make it very real for him and make him start putting $ away.

with that said - you should also find out why he hasn't been able to put anything away for almost two months. Where is the money going?

Financial problems become magnified once you get married b/c you'll probably be sharing a joint account and both ppl need to be putting money away for the future. Deal with this asap, sweetie.

Good Luck!

Unfortunetly this seems like a bigger issue than just wedding money. You seem to be financially responsible for alot more than he is and if you are already having financial disagreements what will happen after the wedding?

The only reason I bring this up is I saw my parents marriage dissolve because of these things. My dad promised he was doing certain things with their money and never was.

I think you really need to sit down with fh and explain the importance of all of this to him, even though he should already understand it. And make sure you feel comfortable witht the arrangements you 2 have agreed on

Good luck

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Posted by EverlovingEv

I recommend sitting him down and CALMLY explaining your financial situation to him. You should also have exact figures written out and you should show them to him while calmly explaining the situation and letting him know of the dealines and severity of the situation. I think that actually showing him the item you want to buy, it's price and anything else that you need to prove to him how serious this is - will make it very real for him and make him start putting $ away.

with that said - you should also find out why he hasn't been able to put anything away for almost two months. Where is the money going?

Financial problems become magnified once you get married b/c you'll probably be sharing a joint account and both ppl need to be putting money away for the future. Deal with this asap, sweetie.

Good Luck!

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I agree!!

This is a very stressful time! But most importantly, you and him need to communicate or he does instead of yessing you to death. I understand completely!

I made my FH read a book after I read it called Lies at the Alter, and our communication has been awesome ever since! I highly recommend picking it up and jumping straight to the FINANCE section and then asking him all the questions there that are listed!

I sent you a FM, but something I'd suggest to anyone is having $$ taken directly out of your paycheck/checking account each month.

FH's paycheck is direct-deposit and then a set amount comes out each month and goes into a high-interest ING 'honeymoon savings account' (he also has a 'music savings account' and he had an 'e-ring savings account'). It's like taxes, after a while you don't even notice the money is missing because it comes out automatically and it adds up fast.

If the impt stuff comes out first then you don't have to worry about spending the $$ you should have been saving on frivolous stuff

omg that sux ... maybe u guys can switch responsibilities?