I DONT GET IT??

FH and I have paid for this whole wedding... with that being said- we really need cash since all of our savings has gone towards this wedding... now we knew we wouldnt make all of our money back and werent looking for that. We just wanted maybe half back so that we could save for a house.

Now my wedding is this week and I have already gotten a gift delivered to my house by a friend that was on my registry... another friend just said 'Oh man, I cant find your gift... Im going to have to search my room for it'

Now Im just confused b/c I thought everyone knows that at this point- no one wants stuff off their registry and that most times, the couple is broke from paying for everything.

I mean the gifts were awesome to receive at the showers and stuff, but I just thought everyone just gives money at a wedding? I've always given money- so Im not sure where all this gifting is coming from. FSIL said that FHs aunt asked her ALSO if we wanted a gift from BBB. I was like what??? Whyyyy are people thinking we want gifts??

Im so confused and now Im getting upset that everyone keeps thinking this- should I pull my registry from BBB down???

If you pull your registry down, people will just get you stuff you don't need or want.

Some people like to give gifts. You'll mostly get checks, though. Don't worry about it.

Just thank the people who are making it known to you they want to get you stuff, but if anyone asks what you'd rather have, tell them the truth.

If it's BB&B stuff, you can always return it for cash if you really want after.

Don't stress!!! Oh, and if any of your parents' friends are coming, they'll definitely give cash/checks.

I have to agree, in any other part of the country, money is something only a close older family member would give. Friends would always give a gift or gc.
I would do a honeymoon registry, traveler's joy has a fee, but the money just goes into a pot you can actually use however you want.
I must admit, having been on this board, I was expecting a lot more $$ than I actually got.
If anyone asks your family what you want, there is nothing wrong with saying money for a ..........

good luck

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Posted by springsandra

If you pull your registry down, people will just get you stuff you don't need or want.

Some people like to give gifts. You'll mostly get checks, though. Don't worry about it.

Just thank the people who are making it known to you they want to get you stuff, but if anyone asks what you'd rather have, tell them the truth.

If it's BB&B stuff, you can always return it for cash if you really want after.

Don't stress!!! Oh, and if any of your parents' friends are coming, they'll definitely give cash/checks.

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ITA. Some people just like to give an actual gift as opposed to an envelope. You can always return things, but honestly, I wouldn't take down your registry. Just be happy that people care enough and are in a position to give a gift. I know that we all prefer to get $ but would you rather receive something you don't want or nothing at all?

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Posted by FutureMrsM

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Posted by springsandra

If you pull your registry down, people will just get you stuff you don't need or want.

Some people like to give gifts. You'll mostly get checks, though. Don't worry about it.

Just thank the people who are making it known to you they want to get you stuff, but if anyone asks what you'd rather have, tell them the truth.

If it's BB&B stuff, you can always return it for cash if you really want after.

Don't stress!!! Oh, and if any of your parents' friends are coming, they'll definitely give cash/checks.

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ITA. Some people just like to give an actual gift as opposed to an envelope. You can always return things, but honestly, I wouldn't take down your registry. Just be happy that people care enough and are in a position to give a gift. I know that we all prefer to get $ but would you rather receive something you don't want or nothing at all?

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ITA...be thankful and grateful for the gifts you have recieved

I think you just have to go with the idea that if no one who came to your wedding even gave you a gift, you would still want them there. . I mean I TOTALLY get the feeling of UGH how are you going to pay for it if you don't get cash but seriously we got a total of 3000 cash from all guests combined, a bunch of folks who gave NOTHING, and a lot who gave stuff off our registry in the 50 range. . I went up and down emotionally about it and except for one gift that I am bitter about for personal reasons. . I just finally let it go. . which was hard but figure I won't forget dancing with friends, having people tell me how happy they were, taking pics, having folks tell you they cried during your vows. . so. . . just keep breathing, hoping for cash, but trying to keep the eye on the prize YOUR HONEY!

Thanks ladies


Yea, I am thankful no matter what I get... its just that the people who 'can give' I'd just much rather the money b/c of our financial situation ya know.

I have family members who can barely afford to make it to my wedding and I've already told them not to give me anything... Im just not like that at all. I was just confused about the whole gifting thing- wow I didnt know it was like a NY thing to give cash. I didnt even think this would be an issue lol

Yup. .and I certainly didn't mean to imply that it was bad to want cash, you did not come across as greedy at all!!! . I mean I would have rather had it too just felt like I learned from going through it that having the expectations just made me more anxious you know. . and that is awesome that you are trying to help out your family members by making it easy too. . I know they will appreciate it

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Posted by meara



Yup. .and I certainly didn't mean to imply that it was bad to want cash, you did not come across as greedy at all!!! . I mean I would have rather had it too just felt like I learned from going through it that having the expectations just made me more anxious you know. . and that is awesome that you are trying to help out your family members by making it easy too. . I know they will appreciate it

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Awwwwwww of course I didnt think you meant it like that, I just didnt want people thinking I was getting married ONLY to get money in return.

Im so sorry that happened to you- but you are right you saw how happy people were and I hope you can still look back and know that you had a beautiful wedding

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Posted by xosweetiexo

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Posted by meara



Yup. .and I certainly didn't mean to imply that it was bad to want cash, you did not come across as greedy at all!!! . I mean I would have rather had it too just felt like I learned from going through it that having the expectations just made me more anxious you know. . and that is awesome that you are trying to help out your family members by making it easy too. . I know they will appreciate it

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Awwwwwww of course I didnt think you meant it like that, I just didnt want people thinking I was getting married ONLY to get money in return.

Im so sorry that happened to you- but you are right you saw how happy people were and I hope you can still look back and know that you had a beautiful wedding

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def. . now I just look back and am happy and dont think about the gifts at all. . . (except that really good friend who gave me a rolling pin!!!!! ) and that was just about being hurt that after so many years that was what I got. . would have rather had a personal picture in a frame or something you know?

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Posted by meara

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Posted by xosweetiexo

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Posted by meara



Yup. .and I certainly didn't mean to imply that it was bad to want cash, you did not come across as greedy at all!!! . I mean I would have rather had it too just felt like I learned from going through it that having the expectations just made me more anxious you know. . and that is awesome that you are trying to help out your family members by making it easy too. . I know they will appreciate it

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Awwwwwww of course I didnt think you meant it like that, I just didnt want people thinking I was getting married ONLY to get money in return.

Im so sorry that happened to you- but you are right you saw how happy people were and I hope you can still look back and know that you had a beautiful wedding

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def. . now I just look back and am happy and dont think about the gifts at all. . . (except that really good friend who gave me a rolling pin!!!!! ) and that was just about being hurt that after so many years that was what I got. . would have rather had a personal picture in a frame or something you know?

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Awwwww yea that wasnt very nice... Im sorry that happened to you.... I know its the thought that counts- but really... how much thought goes into a rolling pin? Thats not nice

Hey. . when is your wedding date. . . it says 7/11 but I know you're getting married this week right?

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Posted by meara



Hey. . when is your wedding date. . . it says 7/11 but I know you're getting married this week right?

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Yea for a while I never said when my date was b/c I know there are a bunch of people who come on here and stalk and so do the vendors lol

Im getting married this Friday 8/7/09