I dont think i have ever vented on LIW before...but

Does anyone feel like they are not close to their FMIL & FFIL?

i have had this grudge against FH's mom and dad for like since we had to push our wedding off for them. I feel like it was all their fault. They got a letter in the mail that they had 12 days to get out of their home because the house was going into foreclosure. They didnt pay their mortgage for like 6-8 months and didnt tell anyone!!!!! FH being the great son he is....bailed them out and paid of all the mortgage pmts past due with all the late fees and penelties so they wouldnt loose their home because he felt it was what he should do. We had to push our wedding that was suppossed to be December 09 off to help them. I guess I never got over it.. I dont want to sound selfish or anything but we went from having money to like nothing...FH working 2 full time jobs to pay for this wedding and get out of the hole we were in. Now in almost 1 month away from the wedding....FH has gone above and beyond to make sure this wedding is paid for. He has been so wonderful. I dont make alot of money and the bills I have take up like everything i make so i helped out as much as i could....but 95% of this wedding has been paid for by FH and only FH. He is such a hardworker.

I feel like I will never have that closeness ever again towards my soon to be mother in law and father in law...its just weird...we dont talk on the phone...we dont see eachother...its very akward.

anyone else feel like they dont have a relationship with FH's parents??

I know what you mean. I've always felt pretty close to FILs, I even work with FMIL very closely. But lately, they've been pulling so much crap (though not nearly as bad as letting their debt get so bad that they need their son to save them from being homeless!) lately that I've lost a lot of respect for them. Though for me, I don't really *want* a relationship with them anymore- it's too much of a headache.

I don't know how close knit your families are, but I'm just looking forward to taking a break from FILs after the wedding stuff is over. Maybe that'll help you, too!

Wow...I am with you. I would have a VERY hard time getting over that. That is soooo irresponsible. What was their excuse??? That is a huge deal, I hope they apoligized profusely and have they offered to pay ANY of that back???

Wow that's terrible!s such a rough situation. If I were you, I would be soooo upset, and would feel the same way. Your whole lifestyle changed bc they did the wrong thing.

I love my fmil but she doesn't speak much english and my spanish is limited. However, I have a love hate relationship with my ffil. Depends on his mood.. lol. The whole fam feels the same way toward him though.

That's rough. But try and understand that he was helping out his parents thats even more of a reason for you to love him because he is such a good man.
But I know what you mean about the closeness I'm not really that close to my inlaws either. It's okay with me. I respect them and they respect me and that's all I can ask for. Try not to let it bother you. Not everyone is going to be close to there inlaws.

yes, not everyone is close with their FIL's but thats something i wish i had. FH is not even close with his family anymore. Its sad. He feels more close to my family. we do everything with my fam.

sighhh....thanks girls.

I don't have a situation like that at all, but I'm really sorry that you're dealing with that.

I have had situations like that with other people though, where I thought I could never get over the hurt. But I've found that time does heal a lot of, though not all, wounds.

You totally have right to hold a grudge...but if it is any consolation, you should take comfort in knowing that it sounds like you are marrying a wonderful man who is so selflish and generous that he would help his parents out like that when it sounds like they have been totally irresponsible.

Ohhh thats stinks - I'm sorry
If it makes you feel any better I have no relationship with mine, not because something happened, but simply because they are idiots

aw doreen that was so amazing of your fh. sorry that you are going through this, I would feel the same way.

i have a non-existant relationship with my MIL. shes been negative and mean and cold-hearted since day one. but when she kicked dh and i out of her home in ct at 2am on christmas eve (3 weeks before my wedding) for a stupid fight, that was the last straw. then she called a few days later to explain that 'she never wanted me there to begin with' and that i dont fit into her family, i really understood my place with her. since then, we havent spoken except for the day of my wedding- 3 months ago.... i am so sorry youre going through this bad relationship with them. i am happy for you though that your fh is so wonderful though!! hang in there....