I don't understand why...

my friend would give me a save the date but I have not received an invite to her wedding?

I recently found out that a friend of mine who is getting married in April has sent out her invitations about a month ago. I got a save the date but have not gotten an invite. At first, I figured maybe I missed it in the mail or it got a little delayed in the mail but at this point it has been a month and I still haven't received one.

I don't know what to do. We haven't spoken a lot lately (We are both planning our weddings) but we've know each other for years and I can't even imagine that I would be cut from the list. I am debating about either sending her an email or calling her but I think it would be terribly awkward. I mean, what am I going to say? The other option is to call her fiance who I am also friends with and present it as though I think the invite got lost in the mail and that I don't want to upset her and that's why I am calling him. Or of course, I could do nothing at all. But I mean, seriously, doesn't sending someone a save the date require you to invite them to the wedding?

It isn't required, but its quite rude not to!!!! This is exactly why I am not doing STD's...you never know what happens in a year.

I think I would wait it out--if she did send you an invite that got lost, she will likely contact you after the RSVP date since she hadn't heard from you. Then you can tell her you never received an invite.

Even though it is bad etiquette to not invite someone after you send them a STD, I don't think you can assume you are invited. Perhaps they had to downsize the guest list due to $$ issues.

i always was under the impression that if you send someone a std, you have to send them an invite as well, no matter what has happened--same thing for e-parties, showers, etc...

im sorry this happened

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Posted by valthom426

I agree, if you send a STD you MUST send an invite. Sorry to hear this happened.

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I'm definitely in this school of thought too. I would NEVER send an STD to someone who I'm not inviting.

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Posted by Lsorrent

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Posted by valthom426

I agree, if you send a STD you MUST send an invite. Sorry to hear this happened.

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I'm definitely in this school of thought too. I would NEVER send an STD to someone who I'm not inviting.

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Same here. you take a chance sending a Save the date so no matter what happens I feel you are obliged to invite guests who received a STD card.
JMO

I would wait for her to call after the RSVP date has passed. MAybe it did get lost and she hasn't had time to notice.

I would wait....I had about 2-3 invites that I sent that were lost in the mail and I called my friends after the RSVP date and they told me they never got an invite...I'm sure you will get that call.

On the other hand, maybe they had to cut costs and could not invite everyone they initially planned to invite!

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Posted by kbond06

I would also wait- she'll contact you and if she doesn't and the wedding passes then bring it up if you want- she what they say

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i agree

Are you close to her? I would just flat out and ask her. I say 'hey when are you sending out your wedding invites bc Iam not sure how far in advance should I send them'see what she says.

I would confront her about it. We had two people who never received invites, so it could always be that. Or maybe she forgot? And if she didn't send you an invite, maybe it's better that way...

Well have you heard anything about the shower or the bachelorette party? I would think if you got an STD your name should be a list. If you haven't heard anything since the STD, maybe they had to cut some people and unfortunately you were one of them?

Is there a third party you can talk to, someone ofther than the bride to be or her fiance? Ask them to politely ask her if you are invited?

I wold call her and just ask how the wedding is going?
I wouldn't bring up the invitation though.
I think a friendly phone call should solve the problem. If she sent you an invite she'll most likely ask if you got it.
Sorry you're going through this .

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Posted by lola09

I wold call her and just ask how the wedding is going?
I wouldn't bring up the invitation though.
I think a friendly phone call should solve the problem. If she sent you an invite she'll most likely ask if you got it.
Sorry you're going through this .

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ITA.