I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 05, 2004 09:51 PM

I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

I get it, but I just don't want to do it. I understand the purpose of it, but I've only really seen people do it in a church and we are getting married in the hall. I think it will look ridiculous to light one in the freaking hall. Am I looking into it too much?

LIJuneBride Posted: Apr 05, 2004 09:53 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

I don't think it matters where you're getting married. If you want to do a unity candle, do one. If you don't, then don't. We're not doing one.

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 05, 2004 09:55 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

Posted by LIJuneBride

I don't think it matters where you're getting married. If you want to do a unity candle, do one. If you don't, then don't. We're not doing one.

Ok, I'm glad to hear someone else is not doing one. I get the look of death when I tell people I don't want to do one. That and the bo-k/garter toss. We just don't want to do either and it's like we are committing a crime or something!

kel2004 Posted: Apr 05, 2004 09:55 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

I'm getting married in a church and I'm not doing the unity candle either. Don't worry about it. People just like to comment on everything.

May2704bride Posted: Apr 05, 2004 09:56 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

We're not doing it either (and we're getting married at the catering hall). I personally think the whole unity candle, hour long mass is tooo much for me. JMO

heidla Posted: Apr 05, 2004 09:57 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

We are not doing one either. I think have to say that I think that there is too much emphasis on what is traditional/expected. My wedding will include some traditional parts, but it will all be things that we want to do not that we feel obligated to do.

kel2004 Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:00 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

Posted by heidla

We are not doing one either. I think have to say that I think that there is too much emphasis on what is traditional/expected. My wedding will include some traditional parts, but it will all be things that we want to do not that we feel obligated to do.

I agree, and I also think that the unity candle isn't traditional. I think it's a kind of new thing. I think that's why I don't want to do it.

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:00 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

It's hard because I've NEVER been one to do things because other people wanted me to or expected me to, so I don't see this as an exception. But at the same time, I don't want to piss anyone off. But it's MY freaking wedding!

Jan05Bride Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:24 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

I don't want one either. I am getting married at a RC church and I don't want the unity candle or do the blessed mother flowers .. I just want a mass and my vows, that's it ...

checka Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:29 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

We are not doing a unity candle either.

MegLehner Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:43 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

We are not doing a unity candle either

tracyg Posted: Apr 05, 2004 10:54 PM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

no unity candle either.

and i get the same look of death when i say we're not doing the bo-k/garter toss. sorry, don't like it... my wedding!!

wenndypoo Posted: Apr 06, 2004 01:12 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

We're not doing it either.
I don't think anyone will miss it!

samsbride Posted: Apr 06, 2004 01:26 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

So funny. I didn't want to do one but never thought about just saying I didn't want to.
I don't think anyone cares but I felt like I had to go along with it (very much NOT my personality)

brideinapril Posted: Apr 06, 2004 08:23 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

We arent doing a unity candle either, but my brother did one and he got married at the hall, it looked fine!

AndreaLMT Posted: Apr 06, 2004 08:36 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

We're not doing one either!!!

sweetadeline Posted: Apr 06, 2004 08:36 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

I'm doing almost none of the traditional stuff. I don't think it matters much. I even consulted an etiquette book, because I felt bad about omitting the bouquet and garter toss, and the book said that you don't have to do those things if you don't want to do them.

(I did decide to HAND the bouquet to someone rather than toss it. That was my only compromise!)

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 06, 2004 08:43 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

Oh yay girls! So I am not the only one! There's just some things that I draw the line at. I'm totally into details, don't get me wrong, but I want to do it my way, which usually isn't everyone else's way Ok, so we are the non-unity candle group...thanks for the support

JP&EP Posted: Apr 06, 2004 09:12 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

I think it's a matter of choice. My brother and SIL didn't do it and their ceremony seemed fine without it.

BCTM33 Posted: Apr 06, 2004 09:50 AM

Re: I don't want to do a unity candle. Is that wrong of me?

I'm not doing it - it just isn't for me. My fiance's family is SO upset that we are skipping it though - they want us to keep the candle as a memory of our wedding day forever (along with the cake cutter, the toasting glasses, the guest sign in book, and all the other stuff - I have a tiny apartment and no where to put it all!)