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I feel bad....
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Re: I feel bad....
I think what you are having is cold feet!
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Re: I feel bad....
Dont feel bad......we all start to think crazy things before our weddings.....just remember...you love FH and he loves you..dont think about 'what could have been' think about 'what is going to come'
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Re: I feel bad....
That sounds like something you need to be giving some serious thought....though I could look at another man and say damn hes hot etc...I could never look at someone else and give thought to being married to them.....or to being married to anyone other then FH period.....I love my FH and though I never did till I meet him...I know and belive in soulmates !!! I would really take some time to make sure this isnt something more then cold feet.
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Re: I feel bad....
No I sooooo believe that. I mean how many people go through life meeting people and getting into relationship to CLAIM this is their true love and they love them and then one day wake up and realize that POOF they don't love them anymore or someone cheats and it ends. So many people get married and realize this after marriage thats why the divorce rate is soo high. If there was ONE true person we wouldn't ever feel satisfied at any point with anyone else. I think it all comes down to compatibility and caring and respect for one another and when you find that person and the feelings inside are strong for both people it results in happiness. I have been with my hubby since I was 17 and we had a baby when I was 19 and now expecting another one. I love him to death and I do want to be with forever but there is always a thought in the back of my mind what if we didnt stay or he left me when I got preg who would I have ended up with. Its more a curiousity then an urge. It's just weird to think about. I totally get what you are saying.
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Re: I feel bad....
I don't think that what you are feeling is wrong and don't feel bad. Your feelings and opinions can't be wrong, there is no wrong or right its just how you feel.
What your FH needs to do is get over the fact that you two don't have the same views on everything. I think this is a mistake many couples make and have done so myself many times. We get mad if someone has a different outlook on things in life, but dont forget its the differences in eachother that also attracted you to eachother...its not about changing the other persons view bc you shouldn't do that but about embracing and accepting that person and their views.
Also, you are probably feeling this way bc it is a big step and it is only normal to think about ok is this the right thing, how would my life be if i wasn't getting married or if i chose a different path, sometimes we have to look at things like this in order to see its the right choice. But of course do examine this and see if it is just jitters and big life changes or if its something else in your relationship that is causing you to feel like this.
What your FH needs to do is get over the fact that you two don't have the same views on everything. I think this is a mistake many couples make and have done so myself many times. We get mad if someone has a different outlook on things in life, but dont forget its the differences in eachother that also attracted you to eachother...its not about changing the other persons view bc you shouldn't do that but about embracing and accepting that person and their views.
Also, you are probably feeling this way bc it is a big step and it is only normal to think about ok is this the right thing, how would my life be if i wasn't getting married or if i chose a different path, sometimes we have to look at things like this in order to see its the right choice. But of course do examine this and see if it is just jitters and big life changes or if its something else in your relationship that is causing you to feel like this.
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Re: I feel bad....
i agree with you 100% and i dont think it is cold feet
How old are you if you dont mind?? i ask this because i am 33 and i have had LOTS of relationships, some long; some not - and if I were younger, i don't think i would agree with you, however, having lived years without FH and experienceing lots of things, i totally believe in what you are saying
I love FH to death, but its not like i can't live without him and he is my one true love
we love each other very much, our relationship works and thats it -
How old are you if you dont mind?? i ask this because i am 33 and i have had LOTS of relationships, some long; some not - and if I were younger, i don't think i would agree with you, however, having lived years without FH and experienceing lots of things, i totally believe in what you are saying
I love FH to death, but its not like i can't live without him and he is my one true love
we love each other very much, our relationship works and thats it -
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Re: I feel bad....
i think its just natural human curiousity and not a bad thing- dont worry!
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Re: I feel bad....
Posted by Snowflake08
i agree with you 100% and i dont think it is cold feet
How old are you if you dont mind?? i ask this because i am 33 and i have had LOTS of relationships, some long; some not - and if I were younger, i don't think i would agree with you, however, having lived years without FH and experienceing lots of things, i totally believe in what you are saying
I love FH to death, but its not like i can't live without him and he is my one true love
we love each other very much, our relationship works and thats it -
i am 25...i kind of feel how you feel, although i havent lived as many years and experiences
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Re: I feel bad....
Posted by SeaMaiden
Posted by Snowflake08
i agree with you 100% and i dont think it is cold feet
How old are you if you dont mind?? i ask this because i am 33 and i have had LOTS of relationships, some long; some not - and if I were younger, i don't think i would agree with you, however, having lived years without FH and experienceing lots of things, i totally believe in what you are saying
I love FH to death, but its not like i can't live without him and he is my one true love
we love each other very much, our relationship works and thats it -
i am 25...i kind of feel how you feel, although i havent lived as many years and experiencesbut i come from a family that exemplifies the 50% divorce rate and i have just come to see things in what i think is a realistic way, others may say cynical. My feelings have nothing at all to do with him specifically, just the curiosity over the crossroads in my life and how it would be different if i went down a different road. i dont see myself married to anyone else per say, i have just realized that there are other people that i have met or even not met that i could have ended up marrying happily if i never met FH. Ofcourse i believe that FH is one i will happily marry, no second thoughts on that.
i dont see anything wrong with it as long as you love the man you are marrying
it is totally unrealistic to think that there is only 1 person for everyone - simply not true IMO
maybe for some; others maybe more, maybe less
i know for a fact there was someone else for me but very bad timing - had we met later, we'd be married but that doesnt mean i love FH any less
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Re: I feel bad....
nah your right there are many loves out there - i do not believe in there is one. What happens when your husband/wife dies and you find another? What they are not a true love?
Fh and i laugh at couples who go 'he is my only love or she is my only' come on? seriously you really think if you dropped your husband off in africa and you never saw him again that you wouldn't fall in love with someone else.
Love is companionship, trust, understanding, loyalty and many other things but Love grows and changes. It can shift also. Just have to be aware of that and rely that who you married is not a shifter but a grower![]()
Fh and i laugh at couples who go 'he is my only love or she is my only' come on? seriously you really think if you dropped your husband off in africa and you never saw him again that you wouldn't fall in love with someone else.
Love is companionship, trust, understanding, loyalty and many other things but Love grows and changes. It can shift also. Just have to be aware of that and rely that who you married is not a shifter but a grower
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Re: I feel bad....
i don't see anything wrong with this at all...
curiosity is part of human nature. it's normal to look at your life and wonder 'what if'
as long as you don't feel 'sick' over the fact that you are marrying your FH and not someone else... I think you're fine.
I mean, it might be good to think about why you are feeling these things, but i do not think it makes you a bad person, or that it means you have cold feet. So don't feel about yourself.
There are BILLIONS of people on this planet(it is billions right?) and while i do believe in soul mates and true love.. i know that i have loved and have been loved deeply and truely before i even met my FH. there have been times i've wondered what my life would have been like if i had stayed with or married someone else... but then i realize that i wouldnt be who i am or as happy as i am today.
They made a movie about this sort of thing...where the girl takes the train one day or misses it...
i love thinking about this kind of stuff... just dont let it make you crazy.
curiosity is part of human nature. it's normal to look at your life and wonder 'what if'
as long as you don't feel 'sick' over the fact that you are marrying your FH and not someone else... I think you're fine.
I mean, it might be good to think about why you are feeling these things, but i do not think it makes you a bad person, or that it means you have cold feet. So don't feel about yourself.
There are BILLIONS of people on this planet(it is billions right?) and while i do believe in soul mates and true love.. i know that i have loved and have been loved deeply and truely before i even met my FH. there have been times i've wondered what my life would have been like if i had stayed with or married someone else... but then i realize that i wouldnt be who i am or as happy as i am today.
They made a movie about this sort of thing...where the girl takes the train one day or misses it...
i love thinking about this kind of stuff... just dont let it make you crazy.
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Re: I feel bad....
there's a chinese thing about soulmates ... some people have more than one ... some people just has one .... you might be the former where ur FH is the latter ....
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Re: I feel bad....
Posted by FutureMrs.T
I think what you are having is cold feet!
ummm i agree sorrry
