Well, I guess it is safe to say I will not be having a bachelorette party. Nobody has said anything to me. All my friends are married with kids & I understand that. However, I wouldn’t have minded doing something low key. I even hinted to one of my friends maybe a dinner with a few close friends at a local place. Nothing ever came of it. It didn’t really bother me until today. Tomorrow is FH bachelor party & they are going to the city in a limo. Most of his friends are single, but the BM lives in Vermont & has 2 year old twins. He came through for him…its something called effort. I was just thinking of when these girls got married, I organized all their bachelorette parties & at the time I had no money. I didn’t mind because they are good friends. I’m not surprised that my MOH/sister didn’t come through because I have had problems with her since the beginning. That didn’t have to stop my other other girlfriends from initiating something. Funny, this girl who I just became friendly with at work and barely know for a month wants to take me out but these girls who I grew up with don’t want to do anything.
Boy this wedding planning has really been an eye opener for me ! you really find out who your real friends are.
Sorry I just had to vent. Am I being selfish or unrealistic
pameladhd
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Posted by kristin597
Posted by shoegal68
i highly doubt it. basically 2 more weekends left until my wedding. i haven't picked up any hints at all.. all i get is 'there isn't enough time in the day' or 'wait until you have kids'
thanks anyway...
Im sorry but thats not an acceptable excuse. They could take you out to dinner or even lunch when their kids are in school. Hire a babysitter or get the fathers to watch the kids, but to do nothing is really not right. I say go out with the friend from work and have a great time!
I agree. I have a child. All my girlfriends have children. We still manage to go out and do things. I hate when people use their kids as an excuse. Your child is not standing there with a little clipboard making your schedule, lol. You are the adult. You dictate what goes on and what is scheduled. Get a babysitter, geez. It is not that hard. I feel like some people are just lazy.
I would call whomever you are closest to out of your group and confide in them. Tell that that you are sad that it is FH's bachelor party weekend and you feel like no one is planning anything for you. See what they say.
I hope they are planning something for you as a suprise since it seems like you were very thoughtful about theirs! Good luck!
BunnyBears
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
i am not gettign one either :o/ my moh cant even make my shower
kBr
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
i feel your pain.. nobody planned anything for me either. but hey, theres still time for you, maybe theyre surprising you. i really hope so, cuz i know how much it hurts.
Kerin2804
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
I am sorry. Perhaps there is something in the works. Have you ever mentioned wanting a bp to any of your girlfriends ?
chrispar
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
AWWWW I am so sorry. I am sure you are so upset. I really hope they do something for you
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
there's still time
shoegal68
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
thanks for all your advice & kind words. i am not going to lie i am bummed. we'll see... i really doubt its a surprise. i will say something to them after the wedding. right now i have too much on my plate. do you believe with one of the girls i was the only BM that showed up for her bachelorette party the rest of the BP bailed thats what kind of got up me all worked up today.
i will get over it & refuse to sulk. I plan on going out with my friends from work & having a great time
My MOH is a joke (long story). i am off the week before & she already has my week planned. like cleaning my mother's home, picking up & entertaining out of town guests etc. um excuse me.. can she pitch a little Besides the shower she has done ZIPPO with helping me plan my wedding...my friends know the situation with my MOH. i feel they could have taken the initiative & planned something small.
thanks again girls.. you are the best
GiantsBride
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
I'm going to be the same way --- I'm the oldest of all of my friends and the last to get married... MOH is having her first in aug and two other BMs are trying to get pregnant as we speak... I always feel silly because i somewhat resent that they had everyone's attention and effort during their planning and sometimes i feel like my wedding is a nuisance to their busy already married lives
roan126
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Posted by pameladhd
Posted by kristin597
Posted by shoegal68
i highly doubt it. basically 2 more weekends left until my wedding. i haven't picked up any hints at all.. all i get is 'there isn't enough time in the day' or 'wait until you have kids'
thanks anyway...
Im sorry but thats not an acceptable excuse. They could take you out to dinner or even lunch when their kids are in school. Hire a babysitter or get the fathers to watch the kids, but to do nothing is really not right. I say go out with the friend from work and have a great time!
I agree. I have a child. All my girlfriends have children. We still manage to go out and do things. I hate when people use their kids as an excuse. Your child is not standing there with a little clipboard making your schedule, lol. You are the adult. You dictate what goes on and what is scheduled. Get a babysitter, geez. It is not that hard. I feel like some people are just lazy.
I would call whomever you are closest to out of your group and confide in them. Tell that that you are sad that it is FH's bachelor party weekend and you feel like no one is planning anything for you. See what they say.
I hope they are planning something for you as a suprise since it seems like you were very
thoughtful about theirs! Good luck!
I totally agree with this. I really think its a question of priorities. My sister has 4 kids and always seems to be able to make time for things she feels are important. A friend of mine had 2 sick kids that she had to take the to the doctor on Sunday morning, plus a whole bunch of other things go wrong, and she still found time to make it to my shower.
Im sorry- I responded to your post earlier, but I was thinking about it on the way home from work and was getting so angry for you.....
kats143u
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Awww honey I am so sorry, thats so upsetting to go out of your way becuase you truly care and then its totally not considered or remembered LLets have a LIW get to gether and celebrate, we can throw a hell of a happy hour
Cutechef729
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
I really hope they are going to surprise you!!!
missK
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Im sorry I kinda felt mine was going that way too so being me I hinted to places I wanted to go. I hope they surprise you
msrn82
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
awww, I'm really sorry to hear that. Maybe it is a surprise. If not, don't let it ruin your big day. You deserve to be happy!
nifheim
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
its either a surprise or plan your own. I did - worked out amazingly. You don't need your entire bp to be there just do something you like to do and even if you get one or three people its just as fun.
lyss0908
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Posted by angl2001
Posted by kristin597
I'm sorry. Maybe they are planning a surprise for you?
i was just gonna say the same thing
ditto! There still is time, you never know Don't give up hope! Besides look at it this way- a bachelorette party is not the end all be all, but that doesn't mean you don't have the right to feel the way you do. Cheer up!!!! want to come to FH cousins party tomorrow?! We're hitting Lucky Chengs- lol
Shelly9697
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Yeah hopefully they surprise you with something!!
Celest
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
I feel so bad hon. People just don't think beyond what goes on in their lives & forgot what other have done for them.
I wouldn't wait hon. until after the wedding. if you do then they will say 'ohh we didn't know you wanted one, you should have something'. If it is important to you and you feel bad you should ask if you are having one. If not.. then plan some fun for yourself & get that friend that said she would go out & go party. Shoot I wish i was free soon, I would party with you!
Annoulak
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
I'm so sorry to hear this
Here's a suggestion: Star Spa can bring a spa to you home...so maybe you could invite your firends with their kids, and have your mom or someone watch the kids while you and the others get manicures/pedicures
Espo22
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Posted by pameladhd
Posted by kristin597
Posted by shoegal68
i highly doubt it. basically 2 more weekends left until my wedding. i haven't picked up any hints at all.. all i get is 'there isn't enough time in the day' or 'wait until you have kids'
thanks anyway...
Im sorry but thats not an acceptable excuse. They could take you out to dinner or even lunch when their kids are in school. Hire a babysitter or get the fathers to watch the kids, but to do nothing is really not right. I say go out with the friend from work and have a great time!
I agree. I have a child. All my girlfriends have children. We still manage to go out and do things. I hate when people use their kids as an excuse. Your child is not standing there with a little clipboard making your schedule, lol. You are the adult. You dictate what goes on and what is scheduled. Get a babysitter, geez. It is not that hard. I feel like some people are just lazy.
I would call whomever you are closest to out of your group and confide in them. Tell that that you are sad that it is FH's bachelor party weekend and you feel like no one is planning anything for you. See what they say.
I hope they are planning something for you as a suprise since it seems like you were very thoughtful about theirs! Good luck!
So VERY true so many women after they are married and have kids just don't care to make an effort to do things and its sad because they use the kids as an excuse to get out of it because they think once they say to someone 'well i do have a kid you know its not that easy' uhmmm how about asking your husband or parents or hire a babysitter.
I would buy the whole kid thing but honestly theres so many people that after marriage and having kids, ive heard how they talk about when events come up, its like WAAAAA i would have to buy an outfit then get fixed up and then i have to drive or take public transportation here, then ill go to bed late and waaaaa it will mess up my whole schedule. Some really do become SOOOOOO lazy, and instead of thinking OH WOW this is my close friend and this is HER special time and when it was mine she was there so i am definitely going, they sit there and think UGh why do i have to be inconvenienced . And then throw the whole 'well i am too old for this scene, i have outgrown it, that is all in the past' oh SUCK IT UP!!!!!!! youre not doing it to get back into that lifestyle or making a huge life change its one night and youre doing it to celebrate with your friend. Some people are too self-involved and if its not what they want they dont care to do it, instead of putting their friend first. Who cares if its not your scene anymore, one night wont kill you. That just really annoys me.
DNS91308
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Re: i guess no bachelorette party for me
Well said Espo, i am the last of my friends to get married and they have if not one two kids.... and they have all made time for my day as i have made time for theirs. I would bring it up and if need be organize it if you have to, dont let your day feel any less special then it should be especially since you have made an effort for everyone else.