I had mentioned in an earlier post (VERY LONG) UPDATE!!
That FH NEVER (not even once) got me flowers. I asked him to please write me an explanation... Here ya go ...
Why I don't like buying flowers:
5) Flowers are a thoughtless gift. Flowers are the easiest, lamest, last-minute, copout, I-don't-know-anything-about-the-girl-or-girls-I'm-currently-dating-so-I'll-get-this
present. I don't think this is even a secret to women, since we make no effort to hide it. Somewhere along the way society somehow lowered the bar on gifts and women said, 'Okay, how about this: we'll accept anything.'
And guys said, 'Deal!' And the rest was misery. Well call me old-fashioned but I still happen to believe that it's the thought that counts. Even picking out a card that someone else wrote is better than flowers. At least you picked the card...
4) Flowers smell bad. I know you're going to argue with this one, but they don't smell good. They smell like plants. Sometimes plants smell okay, sometimes they smell weird. But in a crowded room, weird crushes okay, so having worked in a flower shop, I am permanently turned off by flowers. And honestly, if flowers smelled so good then why don't you wear perfume that smells exactly like flowers? You won't because you don't want everyone calling you 'grandma.'
3) Flowers die in a week. Why would you get someone something that they can't use for anything, take with them anywhere, and that will be ugly in a week? I never understood this. Maybe if you could plant them, that would make sense. But you can't. Look, if you're asking for a cactus as a present, I'll get you a cactus, but you just ruined your birthday.
2) Flowers are only requested by women so they can shove them in other women's faces. Don't even try to dispute this one. I worked in an office that was entirely female and every time someone got flowers all the hens started clucking. 'Who would give HER flowers?' 'She only got a dozen?'
'What are those, carnations? Ew!' The recipient happily places them prominently on her desk and all that's missing is an Ask Me About My Flowers sign. You may indeed counter, 'Well what's the difference between that and an engagement ring?' Um, you're right. There isn't. But we still like having sex with you sooo....engagement rings are completely valuable and not at all pretentious.
1) Flowers are gay.
**** He just sent me another email ...
But its not like Id NEVER get you flowers.
Now that you all know - I'll keep you all posted when/if I ever receive them ...
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Why I don't like buying flowers:
5) Flowers are a thoughtless gift. Flowers are the easiest, lamest, last-minute, copout, I-don't-know-anything-about-the-girl-or-girls-I'm-currently-dating-so-I'll-get-this
present. I don't think this is even a secret to women, since we make no effort to hide it. Somewhere along the way society somehow lowered the bar on gifts and women said, 'Okay, how about this: we'll accept anything.'
And guys said, 'Deal!' And the rest was misery. Well call me old-fashioned but I still happen to believe that it's the thought that counts. Even picking out a card that someone else wrote is better than flowers. At least you picked the card...
4) Flowers smell bad. I know you're going to argue with this one, but they don't smell good. They smell like plants. Sometimes plants smell okay, sometimes they smell weird. But in a crowded room, weird crushes okay, so having worked in a flower shop, I am permanently turned off by flowers. And honestly, if flowers smelled so good then why don't you wear perfume that smells exactly like flowers? You won't because you don't want everyone calling you 'grandma.'
3) Flowers die in a week. Why would you get someone something that they can't use for anything, take with them anywhere, and that will be ugly in a week? I never understood this. Maybe if you could plant them, that would make sense. But you can't. Look, if you're asking for a cactus as a present, I'll get you a cactus, but you just ruined your birthday.
2) Flowers are only requested by women so they can shove them in other women's faces. Don't even try to dispute this one. I worked in an office that was entirely female and every time someone got flowers all the hens started clucking. 'Who would give HER flowers?' 'She only got a dozen?'
'What are those, carnations? Ew!' The recipient happily places them prominently on her desk and all that's missing is an Ask Me About My Flowers sign. You may indeed counter, 'Well what's the difference between that and an engagement ring?' Um, you're right. There isn't. But we still like having sex with you sooo....engagement rings are completely valuable and not at all pretentious.
1) Flowers are gay.
**** He just sent me another email ...
But its not like Id NEVER get you flowers.
Now that you all know - I'll keep you all posted when/if I ever receive them ...
