I hate FH's job!! VENT(kinda long, sorry!)

He's a maintenance director at an Assisted Living Facility and he's always on call and work A LOT of hours. Today is our one year anniversary and OF COURSE there's a plumbing issue and he needs to stay late. This always happens!

There was an issue on Valentine's Day too. And he works just about every holiday and it's hard for him to take time off, especially if we want to go away.

I know it stresses him out, but he makes great money and it's a good company.

I just hate it! We've had arguments about it before..sometimes my fault for being a baby and sometimes his for not delegating responsibilities when he should.

I just hate that there always a chance our plans can be ruined!

Sorry, but I just had to vent, I've been looking forward to today for soo long! We're supossed to go out to dinner, but now who knows!

so sorry. that must be so frustrating!!!

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Posted by Kerin2804

sorry about that - re: vacations though - doesn't he get to schedule them ?

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He can, but if a big issue comes up right before, he'll be there right up until when we leave. Plus his boss is a BI-OTCH and always has people calling him with stupid things while we're away.

This happens to FH and me, expect that I am the one always working (missing family events, getting home at crazy hours, working late on his birthday). I am sure it is hard for him to deal with too.

Playing devil's advocate here, sometimes the person who has the crazy hours is so exhausted and tired that a little understinding and support from the other goes such a long way. When FH complains about my job more and more, things are so much harder for me. Make dinner at home for him or something, light some candles, avoiud work talk - it will make all the difference!

UGH...sounds frustrating

He def. should delegate and start setting some boundries....especially now that he's going to be married. It's a hard thing to do though....I've def. been at jobs where I've been like on call like a Dr. and it was hard to break out of that.

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Posted by Kristina2009

This happens to FH and me, expect that I am the one always working (missing family events, getting home at crazy hours, working late on his birthday). I am sure it is hard for him to deal with too.

Playing devil's advocate here, sometimes the person who has the crazy hours is so exhausted and tired that a little understinding and support from the other goes such a long way. When FH complains about my job more and more, things are so much harder for me. Make dinner at home for him or something, light some candles, avoiud work talk - it will make all the difference!

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I know you're right.. We've had that convo, how me getting upset makes it worse. It's just hard. I didn't tell him I was upset and I didn't on V-day either. I just picked up dinner and brought it home for him, instead of waiting to go out. I think tonight he'll still want to go out though, so I'm going to just wait it out for while..

I am sort of in the same situation with FH's job. He has been working so much on the weekends lately and he doesn't get paid for it, because he works salary. In the beginning I would get pissed, especially when he wouldn't call to say he was going to be late and it would ruin dinner. He's better about that now, and I have been trying to be better about not getting mad he works so much. I know it isn't his fault, but he is like your FH and can't say no.
Try not to take it out on him, it's his job and not really his fault. I know it is hard, but sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. His boss just got divorced and told FH it was mainly because of the hours he worked, and I don't want FH and I to wind up like that. Thank god, he isn't staying at this job for more then another 2 years.

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Posted by Dr Meg

I am sort of in the same situation with FH's job. He has been working so much on the weekends lately and he doesn't get paid for it, because he works salary. In the beginning I would get pissed, especially when he wouldn't call to say he was going to be late and it would ruin dinner. He's better about that now, and I have been trying to be better about not getting mad he works so much. I know it isn't his fault, but he is like your FH and can't say no.
Try not to take it out on him, it's his job and not really his fault. I know it is hard, but sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. His boss just got divorced and told FH it was mainly because of the hours he worked, and I don't want FH and I to wind up like that. Thank god, he isn't staying at this job for more then another 2 years.

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Fh is salaried too! I would never his job get in the middle of us. He says that it's a good job, good salary and he's trying to impress them so he can get an amazing promotion by year's end..and then I can stay home and take care of babies. Not that we have one..but he wants to be the provider and let me be the stay at home mom..so I know he's really doing it for me...but it's hard to deal with.

Happy Anniversary!!!

Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope he gets that promotion soon! If you can't celebrate tonight, that doesn't mean that you can't do it again another night.

FH used to have a job where he worked so many nights and weekends. Current job is so much better, but still tonight he has a meeting and won't be here till 8. Just remember that he wants to be there with you and try not to get mad at him. I'm sure if he had the choice, he would spend every minute with you!

Awww...that is annoying....but you know he's doing whats in the best interest for the two of you and thats what matters,,,I hope he gets home soon

Hi I know how you feel ...TRUST ME. FH misses almost everything because of his work schedule. I used to get so upset about it. But think about it this way he isn't doing for him he's doing it for the both of you and for your life together. I hope he comes home to you soon

yup, I hear you

FH is NYPD and not only do his hours suck a$$ but he gets the added bonus of having to wear a bullet proof vest in 100 degree weather

I hate his job with a passion