I hate that I

care about how much people are spending on my gifts. . honestly I NEVER thought I was materialistic but am getting gifts that I consider pretty small and am irked. . I just want to let go and not care. . . but then I go crazy b/c a couple (close to me and not particularly hurting) spent 60 dollars on our present. . and another very similar.

I keep saying WHY DO I CARE. . I didn't have a wedding to get gifts/make money so what happened to me!!!!!!

Help me get over it!

I have no words of advice since I felt the same way! I was shocked to see that my best friend from high school spent less than $50 on my gift (and she's a doctor with no student loans!).

I know it shouldn't mean anything since she has been a good friend and money doesn't matter... but still!

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Posted by seawedding

Just think about how happy you are to be getting married to that wonderful man of yours :)

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omg i wish I could think like this but I dont!!

you arent alone... i had 3 people chip in for a gift that was about $100 i know they are cheap so i really didnt expect much... but the ones i know that are really hurting for $$ spent a TON on us... it really blew my mind and made me feel soo bad that they spent so much

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

you arent alone... i had 3 people chip in for a gift that was about $100 i know they are cheap so i really didnt expect much... but the ones i know that are really hurting for $$ spent a TON on us... it really blew my mind and made me feel soo bad that they spent so much

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Yeah. . I mean we have friends who are broke who are coming from oot and we are putting them up or finding them places to stay and I honestly don't care if they give anything b/c I am touched they are even coming. . it's just the ones who have and still don't. .

I honestly do not care if all I get from my friends are cards if they come and show up at my wedding.

The only 'big' gifts I've gotten so far are from friends of my dad. Which is nice since he gave their children HUGE gifts at their weddings over the years. (I find it pretty unbelievable.)

I get embarassed when my friends give me big gifts. One of our good friends got us cheese on our honeymoon registry ($40 worth!) and I was so surprised and thought it was the sweetest thing! Another friend of mine from college (who is a doctor btw) gave us tickets to the top of the Eiffel tower!

I'm thrilled beyond belief that my friends are interested in sharing their hard-earned money with us when all I really want is for them to be there on our special day.

I hope that you are able to get to a place where you feel good about their friendships without worrying about the amount of their gifts. This is an incredible time in your life -- enjoy it!

I hear ya. I hate that I feel this way but I can't help it either. I don't understand how people show up to weddings in NY with a $60 gift (for 2 people no less!)

A senior level person FH works with gave us a $59 place setting. I mean I know she doesn't know us so well, but there were only 2 place settings left on my registry, you would think she could have splurged and gotten two!

yeah dont feel bad.. My FMIL bought me A place setting for my shower....thats it!

my mom prob bought half the things on my registry...along with paying for the shower,and the wedding! not that my parents even have a ton of money! they just know this is important and what you do!

i feel you pain!

I have to say Sandra. . I love your attitude and do want to get back to your mentality.. that's how I have always been so I'm just surprised by my rxs. . in the end though I know it's important that they are there and that's it. .and economy is crap but I'm just open to watching my rx and being honest about it too. . only way to work on being a better person is to admit it!!!!

I absolutely understand where you're coming from and agree with you that it's ok to express how you're feeling about it and it's absolutely ok for you to feel that way!

I am a big believer in that feelings and thoughts are an extremely personal and important part of being human, and that thinking or feeling a certain way does not make us bad people in any way, shape or form. Rather, our feelings are part of the most special and unique thing about us being human. I really believe it's important to embrace your feelings, no matter what they are!

I think it's very admirable that you and some of the other girls have expressed this disappointment and it's totally ok that you do. I'm glad you've found others who share your feelings -- that's a great thing about this board: the sharing!

I've been to very few weddings around here just because my friends, despite all being 30ish, haven't really been getting married, especially not on Long Island. So I don't have that 'I gave them X, why don't they give me X' feeling, but I could see how you could feel cheated by it. Same with expectations that aren't met on other levels.

I'm sure once your wedding comes and goes, the monetary worth of the gifts will not bother you anymore because you'll have other things to think about and enjoy!

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Posted by seawedding

I feel guilty every time I look at my registry and no one has bought anything yet! My engagement party is in 2 weeks, my shower is coming up and it feels like people don't care, so I get it. But at the end of the day I know I don't care if I get pots and pans that I really don't want or need anyway.

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On the brighter side... maybe you will just get money!!!!

You guys....people with money, have money because they don't spend it!

Honestly, I'm very generous with family and with charity....for showers/weddings ect. I'll give a gift and/or some cash but nothing crazy. I'm sure people open the envelope and think- she's doing well....and I am and it's because I spend my money wisely.
JMO. I'd be happy with any gifts I get, I planned on buying everything ourselves so anything is icing on the cake. I'm just looking forward to people showing up and sharing the day with us.

I didn't really care about the amount that was spent on a gift or the number of people that chipped in but one of my best friends gave me a $100 VISA giftcard and I was told by another friend of mine that she said to her at my shower that she didn't even look at the registry.

Now talk about an impersonal gift. I kinda want to give it back to her and be like thanks but no thanks. Over the past few months she and I have not really talked too much. She is in a different place in her life then I am and I guess we are just parting ways. I thought I would be more upset than I am but I am actually annoyed and angry because I think it's petty. I'm sorry that you reconnected with all of our old college friends after you and your husband split and now you have all the time in the world for these people and money to go to the city every weekend and blah blah blah. I am not single like the rest of them and I am planning a wedding and don't have money to go to the city all of the time.

ok...sorry for the mini vent...I needed to get that off my chest.