I hate to bring it up again....

...because I know a lot of other brides have posted about this, but I am feeling queasy over my FH's bachelor party.

They're leaving tomorrow for a weekend in Montreal. I know they're going to be hitting up the strip clubs, and have known this since they started planning it almost a year ago. I thought I was ok with it, and told my FH it was fine with me, but now that it's here, I soooo wish I hadn't said it was ok with me.

I know I have nothing to worry about, and I realize that the strippers only care about the $$ (FH has said this numerous times), but the thought of it just sort of makes me sick to my stomach. It's like half of me is thinking logically and the other half of me is just an enraged, jealous freak.

I just can't understand why I'm suddenly feeling jealous if nasty strippers!

I am totally not going to bring it up with FH because what's planned is planned and I wouldn't want him to feel guilty or not enjoy his bachelor party, but stilll....ugh!

I just needed to get that off my chest....

See I don't think that whole 'whats planned is planned' thing goes here. How planned is going to a strip club I think that is something that can easily be taken out of the plans. its not something that tickets were bought for and is pre paid. I would tell FH how you feel and ask him not to go to these places. You don't want to not tell him, have him go, and then be upset about it. I HATE all of this stripper garbage. As if we aren't stressed enough then this 'male tradition' of going to see strippers on top of it. Its just not right!!!!!!

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Posted by JandJ1224

See I don't think that whole 'whats planned is planned' thing goes here. How planned is going to a strip club I think that is something that can easily be taken out of the plans. its not something that tickets were bought for and is pre paid. I would tell FH how you feel and ask him not to go to these places. You don't want to not tell him, have him go, and then be upset about it. I HATE all of this stripper garbage. As if we aren't stressed enough then this 'male tradition' of going to see strippers on top of it. Its just not right!!!!!!

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I know, it's not like they HAVE to go, but there are 19 guys going, and I think it's pretty much the expectation that they're going. I just don't want to put my FH in a position where he has to explain to everyone that their plans have changed...

I totally agree that the whole, 'boys will be boys...strip clubs are just a part of the bachelor party' thing is a load of garbage. Blech...

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Posted by Mitabtrfly

IMO I think you should just try to focus on what's important here...he is marrying you, and you trust him enough to know that he will not deceive you. If you are having any kind of doubts, or are jealous..then that is an insecurity that is just an insecurity you will have to try and move past. Don't let it get to you!!! It's not worth it. We all hate strip clubs..but to be honest..fighting or worrying about it is not going to change the fact that...boys will be boys..or men will be men. I say just try and focus on other things..besides the fact that he is going away.

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i agree! just remember, he loves YOU and is marrying YOU!!!

I completely feel for you...mine had his last weekend in AC and i couldnt wait for it to be over...but i survived...go out and party it up with your g/fs think of it as the 'unofficial bachelorette' party...the weekend is going to go really fast i promise

Thanks, girls...I seriously feel so much better. I know he loves me (duh...he's marrying me and never misses an opportunity to tell me how excited he is about that!) and he's such an honest and wonderful man....I know I have nothing to worry about but my own insecurities...

I knew I could count on my LIW girls to make me feel better...

I am going to recruit some friends to go to my parents' summer house with me for the weekend. There's nothing like sunbathing and margaritas to take your mind off it, right?

Thanks again!

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Posted by summer06bride

I completely feel for you...mine had his last weekend in AC and i couldnt wait for it to be over...but i survived...go out and party it up with your g/fs think of it as the 'unofficial bachelorette' party...the weekend is going to go really fast i promise

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This makes me feel ESPECIALLY better! I was thinking this weekend was going to draaaaaaag on forever.

Thanks!

I guess Im a real nut then bc i dont get bothered by theose things AT ALL. Im so excited for my FI to have his bach party and i cant wait to hear all about it. I just dont feel threatened by those things.

But...since it bothers you all i can say is, you know its all in good fun and the girl 'touching' him wants ZERO to do w/ him as he wants ZERO to do w/ her. Its all for show and for kicks so his buddies can make fun of him blah, blah, blah.

How about when he comes home, you do alittle strip number for him????

i let my FH go to the strip club last weekend for his BP and i totally regret it!!!! i was like you...i said 'sure, you can go, i'm cool with it'. then when it was over, i just felt sick thinking about some other woman touching and grinding up on him. it still really, really, really, really, really, really, really irritates me and makes me nautious thinking about it, but's its over now. however, if i had to do it all over again i would tell him exactly how i feel and ask him not to go. it seriously hurt my feelings and made me sad. i cried most of monday because i had this dirty image in my head of FH touching some other woman. but he promised never to go to one again and kept telling me how much he loved me and couldnt wait to marry me, so i couldnt stay upset. strange, i always thought of myself as confident so i was totally surprised when these feelings came over me.

my advice, go with your gut. if you dont like it, tell him. would he like the image of some other guy rubbing up all over you???

also, as the above poster said, definitely dont sit at home!!! i went out with my girlfriends the same night FH had his BP and it was my mini bachelorette party. it helped to ease the stress!!!!

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Posted by Boston&NY2006

I am going to recruit some friends to go to my parents' summer house with me for the weekend. There's nothing like sunbathing and margaritas to take your mind off it, right?

Thanks again!

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Sounds like a good plan to me!!!!!!!