i have a big problem, just venting

OctBride05 Posted: Nov 26, 2004 05:06 PM

i have a big problem, just venting

my godson is 3, he will be 4 at the wedding. he is so wild and hyper. he throws things, runs around crazy and his mother does nothing. i am worried about him at my wedding. i know i'm not going to be able to have my cake displayed and i'm going to have to be worrying about him throwing the glasses, knives and forks. i really just want to get a babysitter for him that night but then thats going to start big drama with fsil. i am so worried, i am making myself sick. i dont want to have to worry about this stuff. i am so upset i cant have my cake displayed like everyone else, because i know that cake will be on the floor within 5 minutes.

what would you do in this situation? should i get a babysitter for him?

junie20002 Posted: Nov 26, 2004 05:19 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

what if you say no kids under 10 allowed on wedding or no kids at all?

holly231 Posted: Nov 26, 2004 05:26 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

I would not allow kids at the wedding if he cannot behave! HE is not YOUR responsibility!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

prncssrachel Posted: Nov 26, 2004 06:20 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

Ok, well, are there going to be any other children at the wedding? If so, I say get a babysitter to watch ALL of them so you are not singling out your nephew. You would also be surprised that even some terror children will behave when you put them in a room full of strangers. I would make sure to set up a corner of the room or the bridal suite (if you have a sitter) with TONS of things for kids his age. Put your cake out, leave the glasses in his reach and if your SIL doesn't do something about it, I GUARANTEE an older relative will put her in her place. Maybe ask a relative of yours or FHs (I'm not sure which side SIL is on) to say something to her if he gets out of hand. Someone she doesn't know, so she is embarrassed into taking control of him. I know that sounds harsh, but sometimes you just gotta do what you just gotta do. Good luck!

Lori0517 Posted: Nov 27, 2004 10:38 AM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

unfortunately I have a similar issue and I am just not havinf any children at the wedding, I know this is going to create a problem but the parents dont watch them and I am not going to chance having my day ruined. not to mention I am not going aggravate my guests and make them feel uncomfortable. Its not an easy situation but ultimately you have to do what is best for your wedding.

littlebookworm4 Posted: Nov 27, 2004 10:48 AM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

I kind of have a similar problem and it's not even a family member but it's the FI very good friend and the kids call him 'Uncle'. I don't how to handle that one exactly. I think that I'm just going to pray that they behave. I have too much else to stress out about.

Dooodles Posted: Nov 27, 2004 11:06 AM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

Is he in the wedding party? Maybe have a no children rule for the reception.

Elaina Posted: Nov 27, 2004 12:04 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

i say get a sitterbb

bluesashbride Posted: Nov 27, 2004 12:40 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

heck yah! he's too young to remember the event, and maybe his mom would have a better time NOT worrying about the kid! i'd ask the mom to help me with stuff and tell her i need her with me on the day, and ask her to have a sitter (which i would even help pay for if it came down to it) so that she could enjoy the day, i could enjoy the day, the two of you could not worry together and he would be just fine missing it...of course bring some cake home for the little one. sounds just too ricky to have him there and no way would i allow a rampant 4 yr old prone to throw knives (what is that!!) at my wedding.

OctBride05 Posted: Nov 27, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

i am going to have about four or five other kids at my wedding. he is the only one i'm worried about, the other ones are well behaved. i think i'm going to have to hire someone to stay on top of him at the reception. i do love him so much, but i dont want to worry about this on my day.

would anyone like to babysit for me

rrdm782004 Posted: Nov 27, 2004 08:25 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

Posted by OctBride05

my godson is 3, he will be 4 at the wedding. he is so wild and hyper. he throws things, runs around crazy and his mother does nothing. i am worried about him at my wedding. i know i'm not going to be able to have my cake displayed and i'm going to have to be worrying about him throwing the glasses, knives and forks. i really just want to get a babysitter for him that night but then thats going to start big drama with fsil. i am so worried, i am making myself sick. i dont want to have to worry about this stuff. i am so upset i cant have my cake displayed like everyone else, because i know that cake will be on the floor within 5 minutes.

what would you do in this situation? should i get a babysitter for him?

Please do my god son was in the wedding and he also was very hyper any children that is under the age of 4 shouldn't be in the wedding. The only way they should be in the wedding if they are not shy.

Marisa M Posted: Nov 28, 2004 03:52 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

Is it an evening wedding ? Make your life easier and don't invite ANY childern. - You're not obligated to have your nephew there ...especially if he'll only be 4 years old AND so out of control that the thought of him is making you sick !! -
And I'm sorry, but you should NOT have to PAY someone to keep an eye on someone else's child - that is the PARENTS' responsibility -

BlondeJD Posted: Nov 28, 2004 04:11 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

We also have one child in particular whom we are VERY concerned about for wedding purposes. Our solution was to invite NO kids at all. It's hard because the other kids are great, but I'm not going to chance anything. FH was fine with it because he didn't think kids belonged at a black tie wedding anyway.

jonsgirl Posted: Nov 28, 2004 04:20 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

either dont have any kids at the wedding at all - if thats even an option for you - or for sure get a babysitter! This is soooo not something you need to worry yourself with on your wedding day!

Backinneyork Posted: Nov 28, 2004 07:20 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

I have the same problem. My ring bearer will be 4, a flowergirl will be 6 and a jr. bridesmaid will be 11. Sometimes they are good, and sometimes they are a total nightmare. One thing that I am contemplating is to invite one of their nannies. That way - their parents can have fun without having to worry about their kids from hell. But, on the other hand - not sure if I want to spend the money on inviting a nanny and it also screws up the table arrangements bc right now that part of the family fits on one table of 12!

OctBride05 Posted: Nov 29, 2004 12:08 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

thanks everyone for the advice. i still dont know what i'm going to do. i dont want to say no children because i have my other nieces and nephew that are so excited to be at my wedding and i want them their. does anyone know what activities i can have for the children that would keep them busy? i'm hoping that with all the other people around, he'lll behave himself, but i dont know.

lolita4life Posted: Nov 29, 2004 12:13 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

i hear ya.... that is a really hard situation.
it would be unfair if he was the ONLY kid not allowed there, and im sure would cause problems.....
my FH niece is like that..... I love her, but cant really stand to be around her!!!
Can you talk to his parents beforehand? and just lie and say that youre giving this talk to all teh parents of the children (even though your not) and just say something about how you are nervous, so please tell him to be on his best behavioir..... and also mention that you can offer a babysitter as well if she wants...?!!? i know its not the best idea, but i dont know what i would do either
GL

o17range Posted: Nov 29, 2004 04:10 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

Its a tough situation, that's for sure, but PLEASE try not to get yourself sick over this situation!

I sort of have a similar situation--in the end I have decided to exclude all children (high school and down). If you really don't want to exclude them, I'd bring things like trucks, a movie or two (make sure the bridal suite has a tv and vcr/dvd), lots of coloring books, and balloons. Don't kids LOVE balloons? I always thought they were the best thing since chocolate ice cream!

BlondeJD Posted: Nov 29, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: i have a big problem, just venting

One idea: if you are having both a bridal suite AND a groom's suite at your hall, you could set the kids up with a babysitter in the grooms suite. This way you might not even have to pay for them to eat--you could have McDonalds or something brought in and have a bunch of games in there for them to play.