To make a loooong story short, my best friend ( aka MOH) broke up with her boyfriend (who is a very close friend of both my FH & I) We actually hooked them up. Anyway.. they broke up last Oct .
Being that this guy is one of our friends... we do see & hang out with him often - My friend indirectly tells me how upset she is knowing that I still hang out with him after they broke up, and makes me feel guilty every time she asks me what my plans are for the weekend, and I tell her that I will be seeing him.
Whatever...she has her friggen moods... I cant even get into it.
Im I wrong for not even giving two s@#$%S what she thinks anymore?
uughh.. totally random post.
spring06bride
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
Posted by SIBride06
To make a loooong story short, my best friend ( aka MOH) broke up with her boyfriend (who is a very close friend of both my FH & I) We actually hooked them up. Anyway.. they broke up last Oct .
Being that this guy is one of our friends... we do see & hang out with him often - My friend indirectly tells me how upset she is knowing that I still hang out with him after they broke up, and makes me feel guilty every time she asks me what my plans are for the weekend, and I tell her that I will be seeing him.
Whatever...she has her friggen moods... I cant even get into it.
Im I wrong for not even giving two s@#$%S what she thinks anymore?
uughh.. totally random post.
that's a really difficult decision. She is probably very hurt by the entire break up and needs time to get over it. YOu can't help being friends with the both of them and i'm sure in the back of her mind she knows that too... just give her time...
cindyandkevin
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
You were friends with the both of them before they started dating, it wouldn't be fair to choose sides and stop hanging out with him just bc things didn't work out btw them. And esp with all the trouble your MOH has given you (if I remember correctly) then I don't blame you one bit for not giving 2 $hits!
SIBride06
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
Posted by spring06bride that's a really difficult decision. She is probably very hurt by the entire break up and needs time to get over it. YOu can't help being friends with the both of them and i'm sure in the back of her mind she knows that too... just give her time...
Thing is... She asks.. I tell her.... Am I supposed to lie? Am I supposed to not be friends with this guy anymore? What do I do???
M&S Sept12006
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
You have every right! I think you've put up with her enough Janie! Just listen to her and yes her...and think your own thoughts!
M&S Sept12006
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
Posted by SIBride06
Posted by spring06bride that's a really difficult decision. She is probably very hurt by the entire break up and needs time to get over it. YOu can't help being friends with the both of them and i'm sure in the back of her mind she knows that too... just give her time...
Thing is... She asks.. I tell her.... Am I supposed to lie? Am I supposed to not be friends with this guy anymore? What do I do???
I would explain to her that you are both friends with her and with with her ex, and that it is not right for her to make you choose between her and her ex who IS your friend...
Suzannebride
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
I think you should tell her you are sorry about the way everything worked out, but with the situation being as it is she realy needs to not ask about him or anything. It's a don't ask don't tell scenario!
And just to be devil's advocate...I assume he will be at the wedding?
MrsR72806
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
This is a touchy situation...I think she is still hurt by the breakup...but she has no right to tell you who you can be friends with and who you shouldn't. I wouldn't discuss this matter with her any further...there are more important things going on than this whole situation...tell her NO MORE DRAMA! lol
vinnysgrl
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
Yeah this is hard but Since you were friends with him before you dated i dont see anything wrong with it .....they just happened to not work out...you know and im sure eventually those hurt feelings will go away.....and they will move on.......but still she has to understand you were friends before......i hope this helps
JazzyT
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
You guys were frineds with both of them before there is no reason for you to take sides.
CLMon7906
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
Posted by SIBride06
Posted by spring06bride that's a really difficult decision. She is probably very hurt by the entire break up and needs time to get over it. YOu can't help being friends with the both of them and i'm sure in the back of her mind she knows that too... just give her time...
Thing is... She asks.. I tell her.... Am I supposed to lie? Am I supposed to not be friends with this guy anymore? What do I do???
no, that's choosing sides and that's not right....isn't this the reason we don't date our friends because then it messes up the group if it doesn't work out? she's hurt/sad/upset but that doesn't give her the right to decide who your friends are!
Happybride2005
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
u were friends with the guy before they got together. maybe tell her he's still our friend and so r u
greenfreak
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
I was in this situation once, but both sides were saying the same thing.
I told them both that a friend would not put me in that position. A friend would not put me in the middle of whatever issues they needed to work out.
Then again, I'm a blunt kind of person.
Besides, it's been six months. How long were they together that she is still so hurt by this? And why do you need to add this on to everything else you're worrying about right now?
I wish you luck, it's such a sticky situation.
smara
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
I dont really have any advice on this, but dont let this stress/worry you - you have enough to deal with. I just be there for her, listen and assure her that youarent doing this to hurt her feeling, its just he was a good friend of yours.
If all else fails can you blame it on your FH?
esb980
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
Tell her to grow up, and if she doesn't want to hear it, don't ask you!
seta
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
I don't think you need to stop being friends with him at all...unless..he did something terrible, like hit her or something else bad.. I mean, he clearly never did anything to you..why should he lose your friendship?? I would have a serious conversation with her and just say that you know it bothers her that you still talk to him, however she needs to understand that this is one of you and fh's friends..and she has to learn to accept it.
good luck!!!
-steph
MrsH1156
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
Janie girl!!! It sounds like she's got some unresolved issues with her ex and she, as your best friend, is expecting you to side with her against the 'evil male'. She's forgetting the fact that you've been friends with BOTH of them. She needs to remember that it is not you or your FH's fault their relationship didn't work out and that she cannot expect you to drop friends for her.
nygirl77
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose - but you can't pick your friends nose. Why this quote popped into my head is beyond me.
What I really want to say is - she can't dictate who you can and cannot be friends with. It's unfortunate that they broke up - but such is life. Was it a bad break-up? You may have said, but I only read the first post from you.
chander618
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
I am in the same situation my FI and his ex share a few childhood friends. The ex had a problem with their friends spending time with FI once we started dating, although after 3 years things have gotten better.
julybride06
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Re: I have a NWR question... I need some advice.
she has to understand that if you and your FH like him, then you will be seeing him. Especially if your FH really likes him and he becomes mroe of his friend..she has to understand (maybe over time when she meets someone new, she will be ok)
