I have a problem and need honest suggestions/opinion....

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. I need very HONEST opinions bc I really dont know how to confront this situation without hurting anyones feeling.... Here is my story.

My MOH is my cousin she lives in Florida lets call her 'LISA'. Lisa put a lot of time into planning my bridal shower from FL and also my bachelorette party. She lives with her boyfriend ...she is going to school full time and works part time so I know her financial situation was not the best. She paid for her own dress, shoes and jewerly and I paid for the MU and hair. I told Lisa not to gift us for the wedding bc I know she didnt have any money. (she didnt gift us)

Lisa has 2 sister which were my BM they also live in Florida with my uncle and his wife (my mother's brother). They were not here for my shower however they sent us 2 presents off my registry.

Fast foward to the day after the wedding as I'am opening all the envelopes and presents and I realize that Non of my BM's nor my uncle and his wife (family of 5) didnt give us SHI!t.(0 dollars). So I told my mother and she kind of spoke to him and he said that he figure since they gifted us for the shower they would assume they didnt have to give us nothing for the wedding. I really want to say something. Ohhh and also Lisa (MOH) boyfriend also came from FL for my wedding and didnt give us a penny.

How can I confront this without offending Lisa?

Sorry for the long story... and thanks for taking the time to read.....

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Posted by Michi

I dont think you can really say anything to her w/o coming off looking bad. I know Id just keep it in the back of my mind and never think of them the same way again. We had two people give us NOTHING not even a card and Id be lying if I said I was cool with it.

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You basically wrote exactly what I was thinking.

There isn't really anything you can do if you want to preserve the relationship you have with them, I say just shrug it off - and make sure your parents don't give them when you go to their weddings in the future

oh man that is terrible...i hope not to have people like that at my wedding but I am sure I will...I am sure everyone does!
I have to say though you may want to confront them, I dont think you should. Your mom spoke to the uncle who def should have given a gift but whats done is done. Mentioning to Lisa about her BF not giving you a gift will just cause trouble...and since you told her she didnt need to give a gift you may have assumed that meant her and her date.

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Posted by Cataverri

I'm not going to gift any of them in the future....what I hate is the ignorance of people and it's sad because I have such a great relashionship with all of them...and now I dont even want to speak to them.

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This is a hard one Cat! You have to say something because if you don't you will always hold on to it - you know? I would call your Uncle and discuss with him but I was save your MOH's friendship and let that slide. You never know maybe she was under the impression that when you meant 'no gift' you meant from both of them since they both traveled to your wedding.

I hate these situations. Why are people so rude some times.

we had some of our bridal party not give a gift and let me tell you, FH's one groomsman didn't give us a cent AND his date flaked last minute I was so pi$$ed since I didn't want him to bring a date to begin with since they seemed very off and on and i had just paid the final a day before she flaked

ANYWAY, he didn't give a present either but I actually really like the guy and i think it's more of cluelessness than being cheap since he paid to come to vegas, hotel room, his tux, shoes etc. I think it's just where he comes from they don't gift? I dunno, but FH and I let it go. I'm more mad about his date

eta: I wanted to add that I feel you, but really, there is no way to bring it up without offending someone IMO...

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Posted by mybabylovesmoi

we had some of our bridal party not give a gift and let me tell you, FH's one groomsman didn't give us a cent AND his date flaked last minute I was so pi$$ed since I didn't want him to bring a date to begin with since they seemed very off and on and i had just paid the final a day before she flaked

ANYWAY, he didn't give a present either but I actually really like the guy and i think it's more of cluelessness than being cheap since he paid to come to vegas, hotel room, his tux, shoes etc. I think it's just where he comes from they don't gift? I dunno, but FH and I let it go. I'm more mad about his date

eta: I wanted to add that I feel you, but really, there is no way to bring it up without offending someone IMO...

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I hear you girl...I had like another 3 guest who didnt gift us...and I quickly got over that. But I cant seem to let go of what my own family did to me.

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by mybabylovesmoi

we had some of our bridal party not give a gift and let me tell you, FH's one groomsman didn't give us a cent AND his date flaked last minute I was so pi$$ed since I didn't want him to bring a date to begin with since they seemed very off and on and i had just paid the final a day before she flaked

ANYWAY, he didn't give a present either but I actually really like the guy and i think it's more of cluelessness than being cheap since he paid to come to vegas, hotel room, his tux, shoes etc. I think it's just where he comes from they don't gift? I dunno, but FH and I let it go. I'm more mad about his date

eta: I wanted to add that I feel you, but really, there is no way to bring it up without offending someone IMO...

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I hear you girl...I had like another 3 guest who didnt gift us...and I quickly got over that. But I cant seem to let go of what my own family did to me.

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YOU ARE NOT ALONE GIRL!

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Posted by FutureMRS.Benn

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Posted by Cataverri

I'm not going to gift any of them in the future....what I hate is the ignorance of people and it's sad because I have such a great relashionship with all of them...and now I dont even want to speak to them.

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This is a hard one Cat! You have to say something because if you don't you will always hold on to it - you know? I would call your Uncle and discuss with him but I was save your MOH's friendship and let that slide. You never know maybe she was under the impression that when you meant 'no gift' you meant from both of them since they both traveled to your wedding.

I hate these situations. Why are people so rude some times.

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Yep...I feel like I'm going to hold on to this forever and ever. Now my mom said to me the following....please dont tell anything to your uncle he might quickly get offended and his the only sibling I have and I dont want to loose him. I understand where she is coming from. If I would say something it would be to my MOH, I mean that is her father but she can be easily offended....ughhhhh

I know this is not what you want to hear but traveling to NY is not cheap especially if it's not in their budget - traveling in general. I am having issues with family traveling here for our wedding and honestly, I just want people there, a card, a small gift, whatever it is.. I don't care, I just want them there...

Yes, you shelled out a lot of money for the wedding and maybe they just aren't accustomed to giving gifts at the shower AND at the wedding - especially if nothing was left on your registry.

I wouldn't keep it in though. If they respect you, they should be respectful of your thoughts. You don't want this hanging over your head.

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

I know this is not what you want to hear but traveling to NY is not cheap especially if it's not in their budget - traveling in general. I am having issues with family traveling here for our wedding and honestly, I just want people there, a card, a small gift, whatever it is.. I don't care, I just want them there...

Yes, you shelled out a lot of money for the wedding and maybe they just aren't accustomed to giving gifts at the shower AND at the wedding - especially if nothing was left on your registry.

I wouldn't keep it in though. If they respect you, they should be respectful of your thoughts. You don't want this hanging over your head.

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I love your honest opinion and your right they are very NAIVE when it comes down to weddings and so on and so forth. Also they traveling alone is pricy too...but how do I even start the conversation whitout coming out to strong or rude???

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Posted by ColliMac23

I wouldn't say anything to be honest. Eventually they will all get married and just do the same for them. You don't want to come off like your asking for money and in the long run you just know where you stand with them and vice versa. I would Def call Lisa however and just say what ever is going on has nothing to do with her.

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I just love that your back

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Posted by quirkybride

whatd they get you for the shower?

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Dinnerware and some stuff we asked for the bathroom.

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

I know this is not what you want to hear but traveling to NY is not cheap especially if it's not in their budget - traveling in general. I am having issues with family traveling here for our wedding and honestly, I just want people there, a card, a small gift, whatever it is.. I don't care, I just want them there...

Yes, you shelled out a lot of money for the wedding and maybe they just aren't accustomed to giving gifts at the shower AND at the wedding - especially if nothing was left on your registry.

I wouldn't keep it in though. If they respect you, they should be respectful of your thoughts. You don't want this hanging over your head.

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I love your honest opinion and your right they are very NAIVE when it comes down to weddings and so on and so forth. Also they traveling alone is pricy too...but how do I even start the conversation whitout coming out to strong or rude???

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I would call your MOH and not make it the point of your call, just talk with her, catch up, etc... Then if it feels like she'd understand you or respect your opinion preface it with i want to get something off my chest...

Are you expecting them to give you a gift or you just want them to know that it bothered you?

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

I know this is not what you want to hear but traveling to NY is not cheap especially if it's not in their budget - traveling in general. I am having issues with family traveling here for our wedding and honestly, I just want people there, a card, a small gift, whatever it is.. I don't care, I just want them there...

Yes, you shelled out a lot of money for the wedding and maybe they just aren't accustomed to giving gifts at the shower AND at the wedding - especially if nothing was left on your registry.

I wouldn't keep it in though. If they respect you, they should be respectful of your thoughts. You don't want this hanging over your head.

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I love your honest opinion and your right they are very NAIVE when it comes down to weddings and so on and so forth. Also they traveling alone is pricy too...but how do I even start the conversation whitout coming out to strong or rude???

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I would call your MOH and not make it the point of your call, just talk with her, catch up, etc... Then if it feels like she'd understand you or respect your opinion preface it with i want to get something off my chest...

Are you expecting them to give you a gift or you just want them to know that it bothered you?

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That it bothered me bc at this point if they do send money is money that really never grew out of their heart to give me is going to be more like 'ok lets shut her up and make her happy'

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by ColliMac23

I wouldn't say anything to be honest. Eventually they will all get married and just do the same for them. You don't want to come off like your asking for money and in the long run you just know where you stand with them and vice versa. I would Def call Lisa however and just say what ever is going on has nothing to do with her.

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I just love that your back

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I KNOW! I like seriously missed you LOL

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Posted by ColliMac23

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by ColliMac23

I wouldn't say anything to be honest. Eventually they will all get married and just do the same for them. You don't want to come off like your asking for money and in the long run you just know where you stand with them and vice versa. I would Def call Lisa however and just say what ever is going on has nothing to do with her.

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I just love that your back

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I KNOW! I like seriously missed you LOL

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Ughh me too. Listen i dont have FB so how do I go about seen your videos and pls share pics of Greece.