I have a question (Help)

Ok I'm a regular poster - but my BM has friends on here and so sometimes she lurks on here and has told me she reads some of my posts so I wanted to remain annon. Thank you girls.

Ok here is the situation - my bridesmaids dresses have come in - they were actually supposed to be about 3 weeks ago - Anyway one of my BM has known how much the balance on her dress has been since we ordered them months ago. She tells me that she does not have the money now and in fact probably won't for a while (maybe a few months) and that the place will have to just deal with it.

When the place called to notify us that they were in they said everyone would have to make arrangements right away to either pay their balance and pick up the dress or pay the balance and have it shipped to them. I don't know what to do - I have already given each girl money towards their dress (and bought them shawls as well) and I can't afford to buy it for her and have her reimburse me. She is a girl I can never tell if she has money or not - she gets new clothes, drives a nice car, etc - but I never know what she pays for and what is bought for her.

This bill was NOT a surprise they have known for months that the dress was coming and they all wanted to get the dress early to break up their expenses. What do I do if they tell her that they won't hold the dress and that she HAS to pay. She told me that IT WAS NOT happening and THEY would have to deal with it.

Re: I have a question (Help)

That is a tough situation, I think you should explain to her that they will be sending the dress back if she does not pay for it soon and they will be unable to reorderit if this happens. If she is not willing to pay up then, then she is not a true friend and you will then have to decide to put out the money or if possible not include her. It is a ough situation!!

Re: I have a question (Help)

I hope I don't sound like a b*tch but if she can't afford it, she should have told you that from the start, not now. I can totally understand a potential BM declining in that situation.
That said, are you prepared to not have her in your party? If it were me, I would tell her I understand she's strapped for cash and she can back out of the Bparty. I wouldn't pay the difference (you won't get it from her judging from the way she's handling this). And it's not fair to the rest of the girls, who I'm sure had to budget themselves to participate. Most people I know don't have a few hundred handy for BM dresses, but you save for people you care about.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. It's not intended to be.

Re: I have a question (Help)

wow..that is a TOUGH situation..very tough..I wish I had better advice for you..just like the reply before.maybe if ya sit her down and tell her they will send the dress back..and that you dont have the money to take care of right now..if she has known there is a balance, she maybe should have saved a little bit each month until she had it, or maybe she can call the store herself and they will work something out with her and let her make payments on it..I dont know..Im sorry that is happeneing to you! That stinks and she has put you in bad position which may wind up causing alot of resentment on your part. Is she working? I know that everyones financial situation is different..and I dont know hers, but she knew going into this whats expected.if she couldnt do it, she should have declined being a bridesmaid. I had to decline being a BM to a friend because I was JUST the MOH to my sister and went broke in the process..I knew I couldnt afford being a BM. ..so I aplologized over and over but she understood.Best of luck with that!!

Re: I have a question (Help)

Unless your wedding is right around the corner dont worry about it. The store will not send the dress back. And if they do let her deal with it. The contract is between her and the store. You have plenty of other things to think about..

Re: I have a question (Help)

this is tough - i agree with the other girls so far though!

good luck!!

Re: I have a question (Help)

I may be wrong, but I would just pay for it I think. I do not think it is right of her, but I would rather pay than deal with the stress of her not having a dress.