I have the guests from Hell

NO one seems to be able to remember these very simple rules:

1. If you want to come to my wedding send in an RSVP, don’t just tell the MIL “I’m coming”
2. If you filled out an RSVP with “Kyle” what the hell do you expect me to put on the placecard?
3. No, I can’t just keep waiting to see if you’re gonna bring your Boyfriend to my wedding, Yes or NO!
4. No, I really really REALLY don’t get the ‘ethic’ issue of why Hispanic or black families MUST bring EVERYONE to a wedding. They don’t even KNOW me! Why do you send in RSVP with 7!?!!?? Using ethnic excuse is just lame. Free food is more like it *MAD* So what that I’m Hispanic? Hell only my IMMEDIATE family is showing up so.. NO, I don’t just ‘get’ it as you imply!
- As a side note, I am going to play some MAJOR guilt game on all the freaking STIFFs I know I’ll have from my BIL & SIL’s ‘friends’ they keep adding on and their friend’s whole freaking families!

I tried to set up my placecards last night. It was a NIGHTMARE.
I have things like:

Jones Family
(party of 6)
Table number _______
&
Kim Smith & Kyle
Table number _______

I have so MANY “party of” placecards… ARGH

Worse, was the Kyle thing came from my MIL last night “oh need you to add on two more, Kyle & Lillian”
Ok. Who are Kyle & Lilian?
“Like stepchildren” *giggle*
Im thinking Ok, she’s gonna get married soon maybe they ARE stepchildren.
“No no, just ‘like’ stepchildren, you understand”?
No, I don’t but who cares, What is the last name?
“Oh, Lilian is XXXX I don’t know Kyle, can you just put him with us as Kyle?”
Like Stepchildren? More like wicked stepchildren! How can you NOT know the name? BAH!

I’ve had Jim speak with his Brother already. “if these people don’t show we still have to pay $100 each (figure in tax, grat, ceremony) so are you SURE they’ll be there”
Jim’s brother: “sure”
Do I believe him? “hell no”

Sorry I just HAD to vent
I was hoping for 80 guests top so I wouldn’t have to pay for vendors. I have an 85 min
Now I’m at 90 because of these add ons!

A recent post gave advice about final numbers. I'm sorry you are going through this aggravation. It's ridiculous.

My advice would be to not include some of the possible no-shows in your final count. If you don't think they'll show up, you won't have to pay. A woman I work with who used to be in the bridal business gave me that advice.

I am NOT looking forward to this!!!

Please take my advice, MIL went nuts with I need invites for my coworkers, and what about my cousin, and this niece and that niece. I had a total of 11 no shows all at my wedding, all at my MIL's request, a week before wedding, I called and asked her about her requested guests, now (2 yrs later) I learned she knew about most no shows, just felt embarassed to tell me her friends could not make it. lol. oh I could write a book!!!!


DON'T PAY FOR MAYBES, assume they are not coming

I was tracking down people who said they were brigning guests up till last week. I needed names too. And 4 people rsvp'd for 2 & then changed their mind.

I don't know what the rsvping with 6 people is all about. No one added on extra people , thank goodness.

Good luck.

For your favors, you could make a scroll and write down basic etiquette rules for these people who are inviting themselves. Well, you can't really do that, but the idea of it might make you feel better!

I guess the root of the problem is that I didn’t invite ANY of these people!
The only people we invited to said yes were co-workers and the LIW girls! Everyone else said no. The WHOLE rest of the wedding is made up of his family inviting friends. People even HE doesn’t know. I can’t not include the maybes cause I really don’t know how many are maybes.

In the end it doesn’t really matter when you figure I had the hall drop my minimum from 100 to 85 but I can say this. This better be it. I’ll be damned if I get 100 folks at my wedding when 80% I don’t know.

This will probably change as my wedding gets closer, but FI and I looked over the list closely and made sure that one of us knows every guest we invited. Of course, my list keeps growing, but no way am I going to let people tell me to invite other people that I never met, outisde of their 1 guest invite. People are so rude. They think you are paying thousands of dollars so they can have a big party with their friends.

Xelindrya, breath girl!!!

I can totally agree with you. I'm hispanic and my family pretty much thinks the same way. All I can talk about with my sisters is the fact I'm scared of sending out the invitations. I've seen it happen before and it's almost a given that if the invite is for 2, they'll RSVP for 7 b/c that's the way my family thinks.

Do you think it's rude to call somewhat after receiving the RSVP and saying 'hey um the invite was for 2 not 7, sorry?'

Now my FH is Jamaican and my MIL who is very much into her church wants to invite her entire church congregation to the wedding. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANY OF THESE PEOPLE!!!!! She keeps asking him for more invitations and I just keep ignoring him.

I'm prepared for a disaster when my invitations go out.

it will all be over soon...i promise!

After awhile I gave up.

I had things on my placecard like

'Murat & Guest' - becuase I don't know the guy's last name (co-worker of DH) and he brought some chick with him he met off the internet (she was really really nice though).

And 'Dale Hynan & Terese' because even after I asked Dale what his GF's surname was I got a 'why do you need it'. So whatever...I figured if anyone asked me I'd tell them 'I asked for it and was wasn't given to me so I had to made do with what I had which was a first name'.

But ya know what...I asked a friend if she noticed and she said 'no people just look for their names, not what all the others say'. So in the end, everyone found their table and all was good.

Don't bother me none that these people are stupid enough not to give me proper names.
They're the ones that look like idiots, IMO.

As for the invite 2, get 10 thing, I didn't have that happen but yeah I'd be mad. I would probably say something snarky with a smile on my face but then let it roll off my back.

After awhile it's like 'whatever'. I'm gonna be on my HM in X days so whatever happens happens (within reason of course).

my face literally looks like this right now

holy sh!t!!

why are people so NUTS!!??

I didn't have my wedding yet but were planning and I can totally understand dealing with inconsiderate people. At my one sons' christening I got an RSVP for 10 people(that's right 10)one of my ffil brothers and paid $30 per person for them and not one showed up! They went camping instead and didn't even send a card after replying yes. Then when we had my second sons christening they wouldn't give me a straight answer then said no so we wound up moving the party to a smaller room at the last minute and I mean small and yes you guessed it they all showed up

I don't think it's rude to call the person up and say, 'I'm sorry but the invite is for you and a guest, not you and 10 people who want free food!' Okay, in a nicer way, I guess!

After all, RSVPing with 8 extra write-in guests was rude. You reacting to it is not rude.

If any of these had come from anyone WE had invited, I'd have called and said something, but none of the people we invited assumed more than them and a guest. I actually had to call one back and say 'you do realize your sons are invited?'. So yea, thats 4 but I know these boys and their really smart cool kids.

All these odd balls are from people WE didn't invite at ALL. His mother just keeps saying 'my son's getting married, wanna come?' Whose gonna say no?

Besides... to a point, Asian families ARE known for arriving in large numbers for family weddings. They actually come though. It's mostly the family of my BIL & SIL's friends that bug me. I give up

Disney in one month!

Booked our Mystery Dinner outting for Halloween night!

ugh! People do not like when it is done to them. We had someone do this and added on there whole family- we were not happy- we were paying for this wedding ourselves. We called them , actually DH did and took care if it. Imagine if this was there wedding- they would be freaking. Try to stay calm, take a deep breath, it will soon be here and things will calm down.

Why are all these hanger on'ers coming to your wedding? If you didn't give them an invitation then why do they think it's OK to come?

Maybe you should ask Jim to tell his mom to stop inviting people. I mean you have a BUDGET and the more ppl that just show up, the more you have to pay for. Unless she plans on giving you the $ for all the guests she's inviting.

I mean she's happy about the wedding obviously but c'mon - enough is enough.

Keep the faith - your wedding will be awesome!