I have to vent....

so, with 6 months left.. I feel like I have a million things left to do.. I have been sick for a week (finally breaking down and going to the dr today) and my fi has no work today... sooooooo instead of saying hey, can I do anything he is going to his friends to help him with his condo today.. now, this is nice of him however, my fi is working sat and volunteering sun so that leaves nobody but you guessed it to do wedding stuff and clean, shop for groceries, do the laundry... but me.... so this morning I let him have it.. ( and my throat is killing me so it only hurt me I think)....
why can't he think of all this to do instead of me all the time.. he's getting married too and he eats and makes messes also!!!! I am so upset... is it always going to be this way? if so, I need to figure out a way to get it through to him that I can't be responsible or do everything... anyone have any advice? thank you in advance

I've found that my FH needs to be told exactly what I want him to do, in a lot of cases, if it's something not enjoyable but has to be done, multiple times.

I feel your pain!!! My FH just volunteered to organize his firehouse's dinner dance, 5-6 weeks before our wedding (which is basically, a CH, a 2 course meal and dancing, similar to a wedding) and he hasn't done much for the wedding except suggest more things that we should have (oh, and he did book the band).

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Posted by 69

so, with 6 months left.. I feel like I have a million things left to do.. I have been sick for a week (finally breaking down and going to the dr today) and my fi has no work today... sooooooo instead of saying hey, can I do anything he is going to his friends to help him with his condo today.. now, this is nice of him however, my fi is working sat and volunteering sun so that leaves nobody but you guessed it to do wedding stuff and clean, shop for groceries, do the laundry... but me.... so this morning I let him have it.. ( and my throat is killing me so it only hurt me I think)....
why can't he think of all this to do instead of me all the time.. he's getting married too and he eats and makes messes also!!!! I am so upset... is it always going to be this way? if so, I need to figure out a way to get it through to him that I can't be responsible or do everything... anyone have any advice? thank you in advance

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Actually, that surprises me Audra, it doesn't sound like him!
Anyway guys have absolutely no clue about anything, especially wedding related. Why is he volunteering Sunday? Well I know why, but screw them. They aren't going to kick him out if he is short a few hours.
You don't have as much to do as you think, just take a deep breath and relax. The things you have left to book don't have to be done right away.
Just leave the messes, don't clean up. He will clean them up, he is not one to tolerate messes.

He's taking that class Sunday.. not sure which one... after our 'talk' this morning.. he might not do it that day and do it another day...

and he was like.... see Rem showed me how to download the songs.. see..... this morning...

and oh, I am about to throw X Box out the window....

i hear ya! My DHs mom never worked, and he's an only child... so talk about having everything done for him!! it was rediculus how spoiled he was as far as that....
so, i had to start training him early- LOL... i agree with what the last person said, that you really have to be specific with what you want him to help you with, becasue they really do have no clue... and i think it helps to do things together, so he doesnt' feel like your ' making' him do all this stuff by himself say ' hey, can you go grocery shopping with me on sunday?' or ' can you help me carry this laundry downstairs?'...... if you do that the first couple times, and then it'll turn into ' hey, can you throw this laundry in the washer while i empty the dishwasher?' so that way he feels like hes not the only one doing something....
but definitely start talking to him about it now, because it'll just keep building up, and it'll turn into a bigger issue....

OH I don't know what class that is, but its probably not for too long, 2 hours at the most I would think. I don't do classes anymore.

If you need help with anything let me know.

I don't mind the x box once in a while.. but when he gets playing it it can be hours.. or he will talk to me while he plays.. and then he really not listening...

don't get me wrong he will do things if I ask, but I just wish for once, I didn't have to ask -- I mean he knows we have to eat too!!

Apparently, you always have to ask.
My mom told me the other day when I was complaing about FH that it took her 25 years to get my dad to do things without asking a million times..
She said that if you want something to get done, do it you yourself, don't wait around for him. Otherwise you wind up having to ask him to do something a million times and then he gets annoyed at YOU for nagging him! And you want to say, WELL if you did it the first time, then I wouldn't have to ask a million more times.
ARGGGH MEN!!!

Just dont clean up after him and see how it feels to have his mess piled up. MY FH does some really stupid things that bother the heck out of me. He leaves towels laying on the floor, plates in the bedroom, his pants on the bed. I hate it. Wheh i see it i tell him babe put the pants away now, or babe pick up the towel and put it in the bthrm.

He helps out some with wedding stuff but not much. He says that i should be able to do it.