I have to VENT!! But am I wrong???

I will be glad to call and tell her!!! How completely wrong. If I were you, I would call and tell her that your FMIL specifically asked that only the bridal party attend due to financial constraints and that you are so sorry that spouses can't be there. If you don't say something, it will continue to bother you!

I agree 110% Plus with Misha CALL HER - Don let it eat at you!
Some people just don't take much others into consideration when they do things like that. I am sure she just assumed that her spouse was invited not that she was looking for a free meal for him. You would think that someone that just went through the expense of and experience of planning a wedding would know better but some people just don't know or don't think.

Hi Michelle!:-)

I would be very upset too....but you need to just take a deep breath, relax and realize that it is your day, your celebration....do not give other people the right to make you upset. I would call and tell your MOH, in a nice and friendly tone, that even though it would be great to have the significant others there as well, it is really not financially possible. She should understand. I would tell her soon, because then it may become even more awkward as time passes. I agree with another response that you shouldn't let this eat at you before your wedding...it is really not worth it. This is your celebration, and it should be the way you want it!!:-)

I agree that you should have invite the spouses. I thought it was etiquette to invite the bridal aprty with a date. I know that we are inviting them with a date to both the rehearsal and wedding.(especially spouses)
In response to your ? about thanking the bridal party. It is to thank the bridal party but also to be with close family and friends to celebrate intimately before your big day.
which gets me to the other point. It is yor day, not hers. she already had her chance. But she is your MOH and she should therefore be a close enough friend that you should be able to call her and just say: I should have said something before but we arent having spouses of the party. dont stress over it, but realize how you would feel if you were married before her and your spouse wasnt invited. I assume you are all friends in some respect. Wouldnt it feel awkward leaving him home.