FH wants to invite everyone he's ever thought twice about. He feels bad not inviting his cousin's kids! One of his cousin's daughter's is our jr. BM, but she is his Goddaughter so I thought it appropriate. I tried explaining to him that this is about $100/pp affair - actually more when you think of all the expenses. It's not really for children. I even asked him - at the last several weddings (and I named his friends names) how many children were present - none! I can tell from his face this conversation was stressing him, and the fact that I really don't want his brother's wife's mother, brother and SIL invited (I hate his SIL's SIL, she pushed me at their wedding, FH feels she's nice and that b/c she's his mother's dentist we have to invited them). Meanwhile my p's weren't invited to his brother's wedding.
What's a nice way to tell FH, enough! We can't afford this (he thinks we can handle it).
NowAndForever2012
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same thing here. FH wanted to invited all his co-workers.
Audreygirl
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Posted by Mrs.Ptobe
FH wants to invite everyone he's ever thought twice about. He feels bad not inviting his cousin's kids! One of his cousin's daughter's is our jr. BM, but she is his Goddaughter so I thought it appropriate. I tried explaining to him that this is about $100/pp affair - actually more when you think of all the expenses. It's not really for children. I even asked him - at the last several weddings (and I named his friends names) how many children were present - none! I can tell from his face this conversation was stressing him, and the fact that I really don't want his brother's wife's mother, brother and SIL invited (I hate his SIL's SIL, she pushed me at their wedding, FH feels she's nice and that b/c she's his mother's dentist we have to invited them). Meanwhile my p's weren't invited to his brother's wedding.
What's a nice way to tell FH, enough! We can't afford this (he thinks we can handle it).
lmao - sorry - but so funny. i know what you are going through. fh wanted to invite a girl he knew in 3rd grade only b/c he recently found out her address. i'm not kidding.
be blunt, but nice about it. i think a good way to go about it is to do what i read about somewhere. have an a, b, c, and d list. a - must invite, ie cannot POSSIBLY have a wedding without them (ie parents, bridal party, siblings). b - are almost a-listers (aunts, uncles, cousins, long-long time friends, guests of bridal party), c - would really like them to join in the festivities (more recent friends that you are fond of), d - courtesy invites that you like but are also fine without them (your life dentist, accountant, coworker that you are not best friends with, etc).
then look at your people limit (ie 100 people) and add people starting downward. so start at the a list and work down to the d list until you get to 100 or whatever your number is. i know it's reallllly hard to get through to the dh's (or fh's), but you have to stick to your guns.
the only kids we have are the ones in the bridal party they are my nieces and nephew
XFINALLYX
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my FH is the complete opposite. he wants to invite like 70 people total. we're on a really strict budget but im thinking if we work extra hours, we can invite some more peolpe! we have a guarantee of 75 so obviously we have to invite more. uggh
luvabul
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ugh im going thru the sameee thing!
their is no nice way, u just TELL HIM
snydl40
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We are still weeding our list out and I explained to FH that if he wants every co-worker there then he can pay the extra $$. He is actually narrowing it down now.
PegaLega
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FH was this way too-until I told him to cut the $hit enough is enough. People that we havent spoken to at all during our relationship is ridiculous! He got the point
Mrs.Ptobe
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Now I just have to worry about his mother saying 'well, can't we invite so and so?' She may freak out when she hears her older son's kids aren't invited... especially the 1 y.o. b/c that's her blood granddaughter... DRAMA!
naps714
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Maybe if you outline all the other expenses in detail he will see why inviting those extra people will be so costly!
Wintersbride
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Posted by naps714
Maybe if you outline all the other expenses in detail he will see why inviting those extra people will be so costly!
I agree...make a list of each vendor and how much they cost so he can have a real concrete view of this whole thing. That may ground him a bit more. DH was the opposite, I wanted to invite everyone and their mother and he insisted that we didn't...I lost the battle, but it made sense in the long run. Honestly, some kids have fun at weddings, others may just be bored. BTW...you have FM (kid related)
TakingtheLongWay
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I think this always happens...my mom gave me a list of 84 people that she wanted to invite!!! I said no way because what are these people that I don't even know coming to celebrate?!? I would tell him honestly what you feel and maybe explain to him something else you could use the extra money for.Also, the A B C list is a great idea too! Good luck!!
portjeffbride
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Posted by TakingtheLongWay
I think this always happens...my mom gave me a list of 84 people that she wanted to invite!!! I said no way because what are these people that I don't even know coming to celebrate?!? I would tell him honestly what you feel and maybe explain to him something else you could use the extra money for.Also, the A B C list is a great idea too! Good luck!!
84 people? that's larger than our entire wedding!
Summer07Bride
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I agree with listing the additional cost of each guest.
My FH is an assistant coach for his old college track team and at first wanted to invite some of the younger members of the team because he did not want to feel badly about not inviting people. We talked it over and decided we need to save some money so we can not invite everyone.
Autumn08
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I personally a not opposed to children at the reception but each couple has to make that decision. However, especially when you are trying to fit in a budget I'd really re-think your guest list. Think about who is important to you now and who will be important to you after the wedding. I think it's safe to say that if someone doesn't fit in either category than you can remove them from the guestlist. Have you made A-list and B-lists? You may even want to put some people on a C-list!
SoulMates422
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I agree on maybe outlining the expenses of your wedding and explaining to him how not having so many people will benefit you both.
